


Comforting a Friend

by JustOneWriter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-22 23:50:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 42,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13775229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustOneWriter/pseuds/JustOneWriter
Summary: Life once again began piling up on our favorite DEO agent. As per usual she takes everything that comes at her. Unfortunately, along the way, she bottles up her feelings, pushes down emotion, and falls back into old and unhealthy patterns. After a particularly rough day at work she finds resolve in the last place she would think to look.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Supergirl universe or the CW portrayal of the comics. I simply use the characters to create stories of my own.
> 
> A/N: This is my first fiction. I don't have a beta. All mistakes are my own. Constructive criticism is appreciated; as is all feedback. I hope you enjoy.

It was one of those days. The kind of day that is wrong from the start and gets worse as the day progressed. Kara would argue that it's all perspective. That a day is only as bad as you make it. Maybe Kara was right. Maybe Alex dwells too much on what goes wrong. Except Alex doesn't see how thinking positively would change the outcome of a day. Change the pit in Alex's stomach. Change the exhaustion. Change the stress and tension that comes with having the weight of the world on her shoulders. Events unfold how they unfold. No manner of thinking is going to change that. Then again, maybe Alex is just a pessimist.

Her coffee maker died. Which wasn't the worst thing that could happen; even if Alex did need coffee to survive. The problem being it was the first of many events that just went wrong today. Alex set off to the cafe down the street. Where in the tiny cafe filled with too many people for six o'clock on a Friday morning, the burly man behind her spilled his coffee down the back of her shirt. Alex let out a string of curses as the hot liquid seeped through her shirt, and left before he could apologize. Now not only was she going to be late for work; she would have to wear a dirty pantsuit and hope nobody recognized it as the one she wore on Monday. Kara's voice once again filtered into her mind: if you didn't procrastinate your laundry, and did it weekly like a normal person you wouldn't be having this problem. Kara was probably right, but Alex has done laundry the same way since she moved out. Let it pile until she ran out of anything to wear. Then do a mass wash that keeps her housebound for a whole day. Unfortunately, she usually got interrupted on her laundry day and only got through half the load. Hence she washed work wear first. Rouge aliens don't care if she has clothes to wear or not.

By the time she arrived at the DEO things were in chaos. Agents buzzing from room to room, agent to agent; acting as if they hadn't had one single day of training. Not that it was very surprising. It has been like that since The Terror of Reign, or as Alex like to call it; The Reign Debacle. She knew Sam well enough for it to feel like disrespect when referring to her as a terror. The other Agents were not aware of her problem with the term- well, the ones who didn't know Sam was Reign.. but they knew to keep any overly negative and nonfactual comments about the woman out of earshot of Agent Danvers and Supergirl. It made sense to the other agents why Supergirl had such a problem with the negativity. Those who knew she was Kara Danvers, a friend of Reign's alter ego Sam; understood on a deeper level. It was a little harder to understand Agent Alex Danvers problem with the situation. She was usually the first to jump on the enemy. Protect Supergirl at all costs.

The other agents were most definitely confused when it came to Alex and Reign. However, if anything Alex was the most confused. Sam was her friend or thought they could use that term now. They weren't close. Not like Sam was with Lena and Kara. They didn't hang out one on one. They didn't talk about anything personal. They always kept each other at a safe distance. Alex never really examined it. Sam was nice to have around. She was funny, kind, and more than nice to look at. There just has always been this arms-length between the two.

Alex is pulled from her Sam related thoughts just before they go too deep. As always. Thinking too hard about Sam always left the brunette beyond confused. The voice that interrupted her thoughts was familiar. Winn. Alex turned towards computer boy genius to see what was up. Turns out the alien population was going to make her work today.

By the end of the day, Alex was beyond exhausted. Four arrests; two of which were fights, and a trainee in the medbay. She tried telling anyone who'd listen that Agent Shultz wasn't ready for fieldwork. She got stuck with the agent anyways. It was a rookie mistake. Turning your back on a hostile alien. It was totally avoidable. Yet Alex was blamed. Being the senior agent on the scene was the reason, but still. It really wasn't her fault. Alien brawls weren't new. That was her job. It just so happened that the last fight took place at her spot with Maggie. Well, her old spot with Maggie. Alex purposefully and consciously blocked out every and any Maggie related places and things. As much as she hated to admit that it still hurt, it just did.

"Game night tonight!" Kara sang as she walked into the room. Alex sunk deeper into her chair as a frown painted her features. Game night. Crap. She forgot about that.

"I'm actually not feeling it tonight. I'm going to sit this one out." Alex purposefully turned towards the paperwork on her desk. She didn't need to see Kara's crestfallen face. She knew how much her sister loved these things. Alex just wasn't in a social mood. She wanted to be alone. All the time. She'd actually been headed that way for awhile. Coping had never been her strong suit.

Kara knew her well. She knew her sister was trying to isolate. She knew her bad day was one of many this past week. Past month. It only took a moment to come up with a solution. "Movies instead? Please, Alex?" Before Alex could answer, Kara continued with her reasonings. "A nice and quiet evening. No talking required."

Silence hung between the sisters before Alex relented with a minuscule nod. She knew Kara saw it; super senses and all, and the squeal she let out only confirmed. Alex grumbled as the blonde threw her arms around her. Even if she secretly wouldn't have it any other way.

* * *

 

Alex had two hours to kill between finishing up paperwork and Kara's house for movies. She was currently doing a load of laundry, a casual load so she didn't have to wear her work clothes. She glanced down as her phone lit up and scrunched her nose.

**Superfriends Assemble!** Alex rolled her eyes as she slid open the group message. Why did they let Winn name the group chat? Why did Alex let them coerce her into a group chat in the first place?

Kara- _Hey guys! Change of plans. Leave your games at home and bring your favorite flick!_

Winn- _Seriously? Flick? Are we back in the 1920s? And I wanted to play balderdash!_

Kara- _Come on! It'll be fun! You can wear your PJs. We can splurge on popcorn. It will be fantastic._

Kara- _Alex needs this. Please?_

Winn- _Gosh. You had to bring the sad sister card into play._

Alex narrowed her eyes. Sad sister? What even?

James- _I'm fine either way. We can do games another night._

James- _Is Alex okay?_

Winn- _She looked all kinds of rough this morning._

Alex- _Seriously guys? If you're planning on talking about someone you should make a separate group chat without_ said _person. Just a suggestion._

**Superfriends Assemble has been deleted** \- Alex rolled her eyes again as the chat deletion notification popped up on her phone. Most likely by Winn. Who was still a tiny bit afraid of Alex. Which he should be. In Alex's opinion anyway.

No more than five minutes later her phone lit up again. **Message from Sam Arias.** Alex smiled and slid open her phone. Maybe she needed more babysitting. That is why they exchanged numbers in the first place. Alex cocked her head to the side as a picture popped up. She tapped the screen to blow it up and quickly realized it was a screenshot.

**Alleexxx needs SuperFriends!**

Winn- _She asked and she shall receive!_

Kara- _This feels wrong. Is this wrong?_

James- _Alex better not be in this one!_

Lena- _Darling, it's fine. Everyone just wants to help._

***Sam Arias just took a screenshot***

Winn- _Sam?! That better not go to Alex!_

Sam- _A screen what? Stupid new phone..._

Winn- _Just delete the picture from storage. Then from recently deleted. She'll never find it._

**Alex to Sam :**

A- _New phone? Seriously? That's what you're going with?_

S- _It worked didn't it? I think you should be saying: Thank you, Sam, for risking your friendship with SuperFriends to keep me in the loop._

A- _Hmm. Yeah. Thanks._

S- _That's all I get. Fine. See if I help you out next time ;)_

Alex let out a chuckle and turned her phone off as the dryer dinged. She pulled out a pile of black clothes and got to folding.

* * *

 

"Alex! Where are your pajamas?" Kara whined the moment Alex stepped through the door. She glanced down at her dark wash jeans, fitted t-shirt, and black leather jacket.

"I thought you were kidding about that." Alex realized Kara was indeed not joking. Her sister wore a rainbow zebra print onesie; looking past her Winn was in a set of star war pajamas. James wore flannel pants and a t-shirt. Gosh, even Lena Luthor was in sleepwear. Obviously, Kara had the CEO wrapped around her finger. Alex frowned as she tried to locate Sam. Before she could ask Kara was speaking again.

"Whatever. If you want to be uncomfortable that's fine. I already ate all the potstickers... but there is more food in the kitchen. We are just starting the first movie. Sam got held up at work. She said she'll be around later. So scoot your caboose and get in here!" Kara bounced away and plopped down on the couch next to Lena. Alex followed behind and settled in next to the cheery blonde.

Alex half watched the movie. She's seen Jurassic World so many times she really didn't need to watch it to know what was going on when. If she had to guess Winn picked out the movie. As she stared off into space she pretended not to notice the concerned glances that were thrown her way. She hated that it seemed she had a sign on her head reading: Alex Danvers is not okay. She knew it was just because they were her friends that they noticed. It still sucked that she couldn't hide it as well as she wanted to. It also sucked because she didn't think she deserved to feel this way. She should be happy and content with the world. It's not like she had an evil Kryptonian disease take over her body and force her to kill and maim and ... why was she thinking about Sam again?

Alex lifted her head as Kara jumped up from the sofa and raced to the door. The knock hadn't even sounded yet. Kara must've been listening for Sam's arrival. She ushered the taller brunette into the living room. "Alex, scoot," Kara demanded. Alex had a moment to press herself further into the left side of the couch before Sam was being squished against her. Kara sunk down on Sam's other side while pulling Lena back against her. Kara was reabsorbed with the movie within minutes. Alex went back to zoning out and pretending she wanted to be here.

"What's going on?" Sam's breath was hot against Alex's ear. Startled by the proximity she didn't previously notice; Alex's brown eyes widened.

"It's Jurassic World." Alex supplied with a shrug. Sam's brow crinkled and she pinched her lips together.

"The dinosaur movie?" Sam asked in the same hushed tone. Alex's jaw dropped open and she turned her head so she was nearly nose to nose with Sam. Bad idea Alex. She again didn't realize how close they were.

"Don't let Winn hear you say that. You've seriously never seen Jurassic World? Ruby loves these things." Alex whispered back. Sam's face fell and Alex immediately felt bad. She knew the other woman didn't think she spent enough time with Ruby. Sam opened her mouth to respond only to be cut off by Winn.

"Will you two shush? Trying to enjoy people getting mauled by dinosaurs here." He huffed out. The women fell silent and Alex turned her head to focus on the tv once again. Sam shifted slightly as if trying to put more space between the pair. She didn't have much success. Fitting four people onto Kara's couch wasn't an easy feat. Especially if two of them take up over half the couch. Cuddly couples and their lack of ability to see past each other. Sam was forced to sit pressed into Alex's side. The smaller brunette could feel every point of connection. Shoulder against arm, hip to hip, and legs brushing. Alex suddenly wished for a drink. Something strong enough to numb the way her body and mind reacted to Sam. It was off limits and out of bounds. The woman never showed any interest beyond friendship. Alex wasn't ready for a relationship, and she wouldn't mess up a friendship with unwanted advances. She wasn't going to be one of those women who fell for a straight girl. Alex frowned at the thoughts of Sam that flooded her mind. Why was she even thinking about this? It wasn't exactly a possibility. A sharp gasp beside her combined with a hand tightening on her forearm had Alex tensing. She looked over at Sam and the woman gave her a sheepish smile and let go. Alex glanced at the tv and figured a dinosaur unexpectedly jumped out and ate someone. A small smirk painted her features. She'd tuck that information away for later.

The movie didn't last much longer. By the end, Alex was ready to go. Kara wanted to watch a second movie. It took one pleading puppy dog eyed look and Alex agreed to stay for one more movie. As long as it wasn't super lame. Kara was quick to put the second movie on. Probably fearing Alex would change her mind. Alex was even less focused on the second movie. Her thoughts drifted and she forgot to pretend to pay attention. Her tense posture got tenser, and her answers started not making sense. Why did superfriends talk during movies? Alex had no idea. Apparently, a movie night isn't a movie night without a mid-movie debate. Alex was so lost in her own world that she didn't notice the concerned brown eyes glancing at her more and more frequently beside her.

Alex was standing as soon as the credits rolled. She gave Kara a one-armed hug before turning and heading directly towards the door. She knew she pushed herself too far. The room full of people felt suffocating. As soon as she was out the door her walk turned into a jog. She pushed open the exit and inhaled the cool, fresh air. Relief flooded her system as she blindly made her way to her bike.

* * *

 

Getting home didn't do much to help Alex's mood. The difference being she didn't have to put on a happy face and pretend to be peachy. She was able to wallow in self-pity and overindulge in alcohol until she couldn't remember why she was wallowing in the first place. Alex opened her crowded cupboard of alcohol and scanned her choices. She ignored the stuff she knew wouldn't get her anywhere fast, and also opted out of tequila and vodka. Sure they might get her skunked faster, but the taste just wasn't worth it tonight. She settled on an almost full bottle of scotch. She set it down on the counter as she grabbed a tumbler. She poured the amber liquid and let it fill the glass. She looked at the generous portion and blocked out Kara's disapproving stare that conjured in her mind. Alex recapped the bottle as a knock sounded on her door. Alex let out a huff and walked towards the door.

"Seriously Kara? I don't need company right now. Don't want company. Especially not my little sister who is just going to..." Alex trailed off mid-sentence as she swung open the door. Sam's lips curled into an amused smile as the silence between them dragged for a moment too long. "You're not Kara." Alex sputtered out after not being able to come up with anything else.

"I'm not," Sam chuckled with a nod. "Are you going to let me in?" She asked. Alex moved aside and opened the door wider. Sam stepped into the apartment and Alex relocked the door behind her.

"Did Kara send you?" Alex narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Sam shook her head no. "Then what are you doing here?" The words tumbled out without much thought. "God that sounded rude," Alex mumbled and rubbed the back of her neck. Sam had her off balance.

"Ruby's at a sleepover," Sam answered as if it explained everything. Like they've done this before. Hung out after game night. Spent time one on one. Alex doesn't count Sam's memory crisis and medical exam as alone time. Way to make it sound sexual... Alex mentally scolded herself. She didn't count it as alone time because they were focused on a problem. They were thrown together because Sam needed help.

Alex turned on heel and walked back to her kitchen. "Then I guess you can drink with me." Alex reached above her head to grab another glass. Because adding alcohol into the mix is such a great plan. Alex's thoughts helpfully pointed out. Alex uncapped the bottle and began pouring. She hoped Sam didn't notice the way her hand shook ever so slightly. Alex finished pouring the drink when two hands came to rest on either side of her. Back still turned to Sam made it so she couldn't read her expression. Alex felt the heat of the other woman mere inches from her body. Alex stilled and put the bottle down. Unsure if staying put or turning around would be best.

"What are you doing?" Alex hated how uncertain she sounded. The waver in her voice that gave away her vulnerabilities. Sam let out a throaty chuckle at the question.

"Being way too forward and most likely setting myself up for rejection and humiliation." Sam's answer wasn't what Alex was expecting.

It was probably because Alex's mind was short-circuiting, but all she could get out was a slightly stuttered, "what?"

"Turn around Alex," Sam's tone really left no room for argument. Alex twisted her body so she was facing Sam. The taller woman's body loomed over Alex. Oddly enough it didn't make her feel trapped. More like secure. Turned on, but defiantly secure. Alex opened her mouth to continue her questioning. Which was dumb. Alex wasn't stupid. She knew what was going on. She just couldn't figure out why. There haven't been any signs leading up to this moment. Not really anyways. "Stop thinking so hard." Sam's words drew Alex's attention away from her swirling thoughts.

Alex blinked up at Sam as the other woman lowered her lips. Sam was soft and inviting. Her kisses were gentle and exploratory. Giving a second between each one so Alex had time to catch up, or maybe time to push Sam away. Alex's thoughts went blissfully blank as Sam surrounded her senses.

Sam's kisses got more insistent and Alex matched her movements. Her arms slid around Sam's shoulders and bring their bodies flush against each other. Now having no fear of being pushed away or rejected, Sam is able to relax and take more control. As the kissing gets deeper the air seemed to thicken. Alex felt Sam's tongue against the seam of her bottom lip. Alex wasn't quick enough to process what Sam wanted so the other woman bit down and waited for Alex's hiss of pain. Sam's tongue swiftly entered Alex's mouth eliciting a hum of approval from the younger brunette, all pain forgotten. Alex's tongue desperately slid against Sam's. Alex continued kissing Sam until she couldn't breathe. She pulled back slightly to catch her breath. She met Sam's gaze. The other woman's eyes were dark. They stared at each other through heavy-lidded gazes for a moment. Then Sam reattached herself to Alex. Pressing hot, wet open-mouthed kisses along her jaw and neck. Alex's head fell back and smacked the upper portion of the cupboards. She barely noticed.

Alex's hand snaked up and threaded through Sam's long, thick tresses. She tightened her hold when Sam's hands slid under her t-shirt. Alex arched into Sam's touch. Her whole body felt aflame. She needed more. "Sam," Alex let her name fall as a breathless moan. The other woman bit down gently at the juncture between Alex's neck and shoulder. She got the message. Sam slid her hands to Alex's backside and swiftly lifted her to the counter. Alex's legs fell open hooking around Sam's lithe form to tug her closer. Sam made quick work of divesting Alex of her shirt. Her mouth persisted down Alex's body. Leaving goosebumps in its wake. Sam's fingers trailed across Alex's abs, rib cage, and rested against her back. Fingertips hovering over her bra clasp. "Off," Alex was out of patience. She would look back at it later and be pleased that Sam took the care to ask. Right now though, Alex just wanted to feel.

Sam briefly pressed her lips once again against Alex's own. She continued down her jaw and neck nipping a trail downwards until she was against her chest. Her hand cupped the left milky globe as her mouth closed over the other. Alex let out an undignified whine and involuntarily pushed her chest forward against Sam's demanding mouth. Sam's unoccupied hand splayed against Alex's back and pulled her closer. Her teeth scraped gently over Alex's sensitive skin; pulling another groan from the woman above her. Sam continued her ministrations until Alex couldn't take it anymore. Her hips canted forward looking for more friction. Sam released Alex's breast with a pop and moved to the other one. She gave it the same treatment before sliding down lower. Her knees hit the ground and she tugged Alex forward. She popped open the button on Alex's jeans and tapped her hip for assistance. Alex raised herself slightly off the counter as Sam eagerly pulled the garment down.

Sam settled below Alex and hooked her fingers through the band of her panties. Alex gave an enthusiastic nod and Sam got rid of those too. Alex didn't have time to think about the fact that she was on her kitchen counter. Where people ate, where she cooked- well she didn't really cook, but besides the point. All as she could focus on was Sam's needy eyes staring up at her. "Please?" Alex's hand is loose in Sam's hair, but all she wanted to do was tug her forward. Sam pushed gently against Alex's knees spreading them farther apart. She leaned forward and pressed soft, teasing kisses against Alex's inner thigh. The Agent wiggled slightly, trying her best to wait for what she wanted. Sam's warm breath hit her center causing a shudder to run through her body. She needed this. Sam gingerly parted her wet folds with the tip of her tongue. Taking one, then two slow swipes. Alex's hand curled tighter against the counter, the one in Sam's hair remaining relaxed. Sam's tongue traced slowly over Alex driving her mad. "Sam..." Alex squeezed her eyes shut as the woman continued her leisurely pace. Within minutes she had Alex withering above her. Sam slowly sped up her pace. Each stroke getting a little quicker, adding a bit more pressure. Her tongue circled Alex's clit. Flicking out every couple strokes. Teasing the engorged bud. Alex's' whimpers came out in short puffs of air. Sam glanced up and the other woman's teeth were sunk into her bottom lip and her whole upper half tensed. She continued watching as she tightened the circles around her clit. Alex let out another cry, a sharper cry than before. "Sam... I'm close." She whimpered as if Sam didn't already know. Sam gently sucked her clit between her lips and Alex immediately fell apart. Her eyes squeezed tight, her jaw went slack, and she let out a string of incoherent curse words. Sam swiped her tongue gently against the woman, coaxing her through her orgasm. She weaned to a stop along with the strength of Alex's shudders. Sam rested her cheek against Alex's thigh and waited for Alex to come down from her high. Brown eyes peeled open and quickly found Sam's gaze. She tugged Sam up and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Tasting herself on Sam's soft skin.

"Bed?" Alex murmured quietly as she peppered kisses against Sam's jaw.

"Already ready for round two?" Sam laughed in good nature. Alex shook her head quickly. She was way too sensitive for round two right now. Sam cocked her head in confusion. Then what did Alex want?

"You're going to let me return the favor.. right?" Alex's playful smirk reassured Sam they were on the same page.

"Lead the way," Sam stepped back and helped Alex slide off the counter. Her legs were a little shaky, but in the end, she managed. With a little help from Sam that is. Alex turned and gave Sam a wide and toothy smile. She wrapped an arm around the other woman's waist and playfully pulled her to the bed.

* * *

 

Alex's eyes traced the muscles on Sam's back as she shimmied back into her shirt. She re-buttoned her blouse and zipped up her skirt. She wasn't rushing out, but it was clear to both of them that she wasn't staying. Which was good. It's what Alex wanted, or thought she wanted. Honestly, at the moment the woman was a little confused. Her very straight friend Sam just fucked her on her kitchen counter. Then again on her bed. Twice. Every time Alex opened her mouth to say something she shut it again. Did she want to know what this was? Was there really any way to explain what just happened?

Sam turned around now fully clothed. Her eyes ran up Alex's naked body. A relaxed smile lighting her features. She paused on Alex's face and bit her lip. Alex mentally cursed herself for her post-coital inability to keep the concern and questioning off her usually stoic face.

"Just comforting a friend," Sam paused and brushed a strand of hair out of Alex's eyes. "Okay?" Alex let out a small sigh and nodded numbly. She really was exhausted. Her eyes drooped closed before Sam even exited the apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m glad people seemed to like the story. Feedback, favorites, and follows helped my confidence immensely. I do have many more chapters planned for this story. I’m going to try and update every Monday. Still no beta reader. All mistakes are my own. 
> 
> This chapter doesn’t have much Sam/Alex interaction. I think Alex’s relationship with Kara is super important; as is her relationship with Ruby. I promise next chapter will be way more Sam/Alex focused. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

The sun is what ultimately pulled Alex from her sex-induced coma. The light filtered in from the window and stretched across her face. Her nose scrunched and she let out a quiet groan knowing that trying to get back to sleep would be useless. She momentarily couldn't believe she forgot to shut the curtains. She always remembered to close them on the nights when she got to sleep in the next day. That's when it hit her; last night she didn't put herself to bed. Her eyes popped open and she immediately threw an arm across her eyes due to the blinding light. She shifted her weight slightly and noticed her body was pleasantly achy. Alex's eyes adjusted to the bright room and she cautiously pulled her arm away from her face. Alex would have lounged in bed for another hour if not for her insistent bladder. As she slid out of bed she also decided it would be best to change her sheets and light a candle. Brunch with Kara tomorrow would be beyond awkward if her super senses picked up the scent of sex. Not only did Kara make those types of conversations uncomfortable to the max; Alex didn't want to lie to her sister. There was no way she would be telling her about Sam showing up and jumping her bones. Would Kara even believe her? The blonde would have mentioned something about Sam being bisexual if she knew. Right? 

 

Alex pulled on an extra large baggy t-shirt and a pair of clean underwear. She stripped the bed and threw the sheets, comforter, and blanket into a heap in the corner. Her next stop was the kitchen. She located her socks, jeans, underwear, t-shirt, and bra from the previous night and dropped them in the dirty clothes hamper. She decided a shower would be the next order of business. She hated when she ran the washer and ran out of hot water mid-shower. Sure she was capable of taking a five-minute shower, but she really liked to dilly-dally in the warm water. So that's just what she did.

 

Half an hour later she was squeaky clean and dressed in a pair of sweats, a black sports bra, and the same baggy t-shirt from this morning. She started a load of laundry containing her dirty linens. Just as she was lighting a sweet-pea scented candle a thud on the door caused her to jump. 

 

"Alex? Can you get the door for me?" Kara's voice filtered through the wood. Alex set the lighter aside and rushed to the door. She swung it open and Kara bustled in with her arms full of boxes and grocery bags. Kara went straight to the kitchen to set the mountain of food down. 

 

"Kara! No!" Alex yelped and sprung towards the kitchen. She pushed between her sister and the island counter before she could start spreading the items out. "I need to clean it... I spilled and it's.. just give me a second." Alex reached under the sink and grabbed the first cleaning product she could wrap her hand around. She sprayed the bleach mixture onto the countertop and wiped it down with a paper towel. 

 

"Aw, Alex! Couldn't you have used something besides bleach? It smells to high heaven in here." Kara complained. She set the food down on the now clean surface as Alex placed the cleaning spray back under the sink. The brunette settled against the opposite counter as Kara spread the food out. "It's seriously horrid." Kara turned towards her sister and paused. Alex's brows were furrowed and her head tilted slightly to the side. Her eyes followed Kara's movements as if she was studying the blonde. It only took Kara a second to piece together her sisters confusion. "You forgot we rescheduled brunch." She stated with a quirked smile. "Lena is working today, and off tomorrow. You said you were free both days." Kara reminded the older Danvers sister.

 

Realization dawned on Alex. She totally forgot about switching brunch to today. "Why didn't you remind me last night?" Alex asked with a huff. 

 

"Seriously?" Kara said crossing her arms. "Uh maybe because you ran out of my apartment so fast I was concerned there was a fire." 

 

"That doesn't even make sense. We both know if there was a fire I'd be running towards it not away." Alex defended herself weakly. She knew she just accidentally opened the door for Kara to ask probing questions. She had been dodging the blonde's heart to heart that she knew Kara wanted to have. Alex wasn't ready. She never knew if she'd be ready. It's not like something huge and life changing happened to make her feel this way. It was just life. A build-up of everything. Just like before. When she couldn't handle life and turned into a party going alcohol feign. The weight of the world was crashing down on her. Alex knew she would get through it. She always did. The bad would pass and she would go back to living her high-stress life in relative happiness. Which having thought about it; maybe that was the problem. Maggie made her see how good life could be. She made her feel loved and wanted. That sometimes she had to put herself first. Maggie taught her so many things about herself, the world, and life itself. She hasn't really had time to process the giant loss of Maggie. She hasn't had time to heal. She was just thrust into another life or death situation. 

 

"If it wasn't a fire... Care to share what's up?" Kara purposefully kept her tone light. She also didn't look directly at Alex. She knew pushing wouldn't help the matter. Instead, she busied herself with making the food. She would be the one who ended up eating most of it. Alex had a healthy appetite but it was nothing compared to her Kryptonian ability to eat anyone out of house and home. 

 

"Nothing is up." Alex shrugged her shoulders. Kara was quick to lift her gaze and give her a pointed glare. "Seriously. I had a long day and wanted to get home." Alex insisted with more vigor. 

 

"You wanted to get home and drink two glasses of scotch?" Kara pointedly poured out both tumblers of alcohol. Alex froze, her lips forming a surprised ‘o'. Luckily her reaction of guilt was easily explained by getting caught indulging in too much alcohol. "Do you want to kill your liver?" Kara moved back to the stove before her omelet burned. Alex was grateful that her oblivious sister chose to focus on the fact that she poured herself a drink instead of the fact she didn't actually drink it. 

 

Alex subtly steered the conversation onto safer topics. She got Kara talking about the new piece she was writing for Catco. A topic Kara could talk about for hours. Kara knew what Alex was doing. Distracting her to avoid talking about the problem, but she let her. Like she always did. It didn't take long for Alex's kitchen to fill with the rich aroma of breakfast. Kara cut the omelet up giving Alex one-fourth of the giant cheese filled egg. She piled on hash browns and bacon before sliding the plate over to her sister. Once the food was dished up the talking silenced. Kara took eating very seriously. The silence was welcomed by Alex. 

 

Since Kara cooked, Alex was on cleanup duty. She rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher while Kara looked for something new to watch. Alex wiped her hands dry and joined Kara on the couch. 

 

* * *

 

Having put off her laundry all weekend Alex knew she would be holed up doing load after load on Sunday. She also knew being alone doing nothing but housework would give her ample time to think. Time she didn't want. Due to waking up late and Kara's arrival; Alex didn't have time to process what happened on Friday night. Having been awake for two hours now she still hasn't been able to wrap her head around it. Obviously, she knew what happened. And she knew it happened because Sam was trying to make her feel better? That was the fuzzy part. The part that Alex didn't fully understand. Why it actually occurred. Why Sam thought it would be okay. Why was it okay? After Sara, Alex was clear on her feelings for one night stands. Except this didn't feel like a one night stand. Alex frowned at the thought. Did that mean she wanted it to happen again? Alex's thoughts were making her frustrated. Her anger quickly turned to Sam. If she wouldn't have thrown her this curveball Alex wouldn't be in this situation! She knew she didn't want a relationship. Everything with Maggie was so fresh. She didn't want anyone to be able to hurt her again in that magnitude for a while. She wasn't sure if she could ever do it again. Especially with Sam. Sam was great. Sam was her friend. Alex groaned and hung her head. This pattern of thinking was getting exhausting. She was running in circles. Until she talked to Sam nothing can really be done. 

 

Talking to Sam. Oh god. She did not want to do that. Alex decided that she would follow Sam's lead. If Sam acted normal, so would Alex. If she initiated a talk, Alex would willingly talk. If Sam avoided her, well; Alex would handle that too. Even if the thought made her physically ill. She and Sam might not be two peas in a pod, but there was a level of friendship she really didn't want to lose. The brunette knew worrying wouldn't help anything. For the next hour, she continually reminded herself to stay calm. Wait and see how Sam acts. 

 

To Alex's' horror that moment came sooner than expected. Alex picked up her vibrating phone, eyes immediately widening as Sam's name blinked on the screen. She stared at it blankly. One second turning into two, then three. She realized she was taking longer than usual to answer and Sam would think something was up. Well- something was up, but Sam didn't need to know that. Alex closed her eyes and accepted the call before she could chicken out. 

 

"Hello?" Alex barely had time to get out the greeting before Sam's flustered voice carried across her phone. 

 

_ "Thank god! Are you busy? You must be.. you didn't pick up your phone right away. So busy. Like what exactly is making you busy? Which really isn't my business. It's just, Ruby. Soccer. I need to stop asking you for favors. Yet here I am doing it again-"  _

 

"Sam. Take a deep breath. Please," Alex listened to the other woman inhale, then exhale. "I'm not busy. Not really anyways. Just doing laundry. Want to actually ask the favor before apologizing for me for asking?" Talking to Sam was surprisingly easy. Easier than she thought. It was almost like Friday never happened. 

 

_ "Right. Sorry. I tend to get... well you know how I get."  _ Which was true. Alex knew exactly how spastic Sam could get when asking for help. Alex didn't know why they had to do this song and dance every time. She has expressed how much she liked spending time with Ruby. She summed it up to Sam's distaste for asking for help. She wasn't used to relying on anyone else either.  _ "Ruby has a soccer game today at one. There is this thing with an investor at work. I need to take care of it. Could you possibly take her?"  _

 

"Of course I'll take her." Alex couldn't hide the excitement in her tone. She always jumped on a chance to hang out with Ruby. Not to mention soccer was her game! It was one of her many adolescent mistakes; not sticking with soccer. She was actually pretty good as a kid. The physical part was easy, and strategizing was fun. "I'll be there at noon. So about an hour. That should give her enough time to warm up with the team. Right?" Alex asked in a rush. She couldn't wait to see Ruby play. 

 

_ "Noon is perfect. See you then. Thanks so much. Again. I really owe you. Again."  _ Alex's obvious enthusiasm did wonders to soothe Sam's nerves. Alex brushed off the thanks and said a quick goodbye. She calculated that she would be able to get another three loads before leaving. She definitely wouldn't be able to finish it all today. Not that she minded. Soccer with Ruby was worth it.

 

* * *

 

**Meanwhile at the Arias household...**

 

Sam paced from room to room as Ruby watched in mild concern. Sam shouldn't be this level of worked up over being called in. She gathered Ruby's soccer gear, went through the investor files, and checked her phone over and over again. As if she forgot she just piled the same soccer gear she was currently moving in the opposite corner ten minutes ago. Ruby tried helping, but every time she moved from the couch she seemed to get in the way. 

 

"Is Alex staying for dinner too?" Ruby asked in an attempt to get Sam's mind back on her. 

 

"I didn't ask," Sam frowned. "I don't even know if I'll be back for dinner." She added absently. Sam honestly hadn't thought past getting someone to take Ruby to soccer. When she got called in, her first thought was to call Alex. Kara and Lena never had a problem watching Ruby, but both Alex and Ruby seemed to get more out of their time together. Ruby loved Lena and Kara. Given the choice though, she would always pick Alex.

 

It wasn't until she had Alex's contact name pulled up on her screen that the nerves kicked in. She knew she initiated the change in their relationship. A change that she couldn't really define. She liked Alex. She really did. She had always found her attractive, trustworthy, and was happy to be in her presence. She just never pictured having anything more than friendship with Alex. Nothing serious anyways. Sam hadn't had anyone serious since Ruby. She wasn't sure she was even able to do serious. Not that there has really been time to consider actual feelings. When she met Alex the other brunette was happy with Maggie. When they first broke up getting together with Alex never once crossed her mind. She just wanted to help her friend through the pain of losing a loved one. Then Reign made her appearance. There hasn't exactly been a good time. Not that Sam had even sat down and defined her feelings for Alex. What actual emotions were connected to the woman. Being in a relationship with her was actually a terrifying thought.

 

Sam wasn't sure why she decided sex would be okay. She's thought about Alex in that way before. Always pushed it aside. She didn't really advertise the bisexual thing either. Lena knew she experimented in college, but seeing as she didn't date; she didn't see the point in talking about it. Then Lena would not only try to set her up with every eligible man she could find, but also the women. Sam didn't want to handle that. So Alex was probably blindsided by that revelation. Any prior signs she might have accidentally given Alex would have brushed off as her imagination. That's what Sam did whenever she thought she was getting a vibe from a straight woman. Sam rationalized sex with Alex and made an impulse decision. Alex was hurting. It was getting worse. She wasn't talking. If Sam couldn't help her that way, why not do it physically? It was mutually beneficial. Sam had needs. Needs that haven't been met in a while. One night stands weren't her favorite. Even if she did partake in them more than she cared to admit.

 

That being said, Sam wasn't sure how to handle this particular situation. One night stands were easy. Painless. No extra interaction needed. This was all new territory. A territory that she would have to figure out as she goes. If they needed to talk about it, they would. Otherwise, she was content with letting it be a one time, stress relieved night between friends. 

 

"Mom," Sam looked up startled to see Ruby's face inches from her own. "Alex is here." Ruby stepped aside revealing that Alex was indeed in her house. Sam's eyes shifted from Ruby to Alex, then back to Ruby. She couldn't decide where to look. How did she not hear her at the door? 

 

"Sorry, I guess I got a little preoccupied." Sam lifted her phone in an indication that she was lost in work. 

 

"In your defense; I didn't even knock on the door. Ruby was watching from the window." Alex's smile was a tad shyer than normal, but Sam continued as if nothing had changed between them. 

 

"Ah yes. She's been bouncing off the walls since I told her you'd be taking her to the game." Sam smiled warmly at Ruby. The girl shifted her weight to her back foot rocking slightly. 

 

"We're not even that good. I just like hanging out with you." She ducked her head in mild embarrassment. Alex ruffled Ruby's hair and let out a light laugh. 

 

"Feelings mutual kid," Alex was quick to reassure. It was honestly probably more embarrassing for Alex than Ruby. Sam watched the two of them interact and relaxed back into the couch. Warmth flooded her body as they spoke. She loved how well they got along. Sam's phone began buzzing and she let out a groan. 

 

"I'm so late," Sam stood up and swung her purse over her shoulder. "Be good," she mumbled against Ruby's head as she pressed a kiss to her hair. "Thanks." Sam barely registered the light brush of her hand over Alex's arm as she left out the house. 

* * *

 

The soccer field was at the high-school; which was only about fifteen minutes away. Two minutes into the drive over Alex could tell something was up with Ruby. She sat eerily still, her eyes glued to the window, her breaths so shallow she barely seemed to be breathing. Alex remained silent for the next couple minutes. She wasn't sure exactly what to do. She has always been good with kids. Except she never had to do anything besides keep them entertained. Right now didn't seem like one of those times to brighten her mood with humor. Not without figuring out what was going through her mind. Alex had no idea how to approach it. 

 

After another minute of deafening silence, Alex cracked. "What's got you so down?" She winced at the bluntness of the statement, but Ruby didn't seem to mind. Maybe she appreciated the direct result. 

 

"Nothing," Ruby forced a smile on her face and gazed at Alex through unfocused eyes. 

 

"Now that my friend is the biggest load of horse crap I've heard all week." Alex raised an eyebrow and watched her from the corner of her eye. Ruby visibly deflated and let her shoulders droop.

 

"It's really stupid," Ruby said so quietly Alex almost missed it completely. 

 

"That's okay," Alex encouraged softly. Ruby let out a small sigh and nodded her head. It took another thirty seconds to gather her thoughts. 

 

"I suck at soccer- or like the team sucks," Ruby blurted out in a single breath. Alex almost cracked a smile, but the sadness in Ruby's eyes stopped her. The girl wouldn't even look at her. 

 

"Do you have fun?" Alex asked gently. Ruby slowly nodded her head. "Then that's all that matters." Alex knew how it felt to want to win at everything. To be the best. Sam spoke like Ruby loved soccer. This right here confused Alex. 

 

"I just.. I don't want you to see me be so bad." Ruby winced and rubbed her hands together. "It sounds so silly. You're just so cool. And you're in the FBI. And I don't want you to see me fail." The more Ruby talked the more Alex started to understand. Ruby did love soccer. She was just embarrassed. Thinking that Alex wouldn't think she was good enough. 

 

"Oh, Ruby. That's impossible." Alex pulled into the lot and put the car in park. "If you go out there, try your best, and have fun- I won't see you fail. I'll see a bright, young girl giving it her all. The only way you truly fail is by not trying." Alex shifted in her seat so she was fully facing Ruby. She reached out and brushed her hand against her cheek; applying slight pressure so Ruby had to face her. "You could be the worst one out there and I'll still be cheering the loudest. Because I'm your biggest fan. And anything you do, I'll be proud of." Alex knew she said the right thing. Ruby relaxed her posture and a small smile blossomed on her features alongside a tinge of red dusting her cheeks. 

 

"Thanks Alex," Ruby reached across the seat to give her a one arm hug. She swung the door open and paused before saying, "and for the record. You're a huge sap. But I'll keep your secret safe." Ruby hopped out and gave her a cheeky grin. Alex let out a chuckle and followed her out of the car. Ruby ran ahead and stopped at a group of girls sporting jerseys, cleats, and knee-high socks. Alex walked around the trunk of the car and pulled out a mini cooler and Ruby's soccer backpack. She headed towards the bleachers where a group of parents was already formed. When nearly every pair of eyes turned to stare at her Alex almost turned around. Handling kids were one thing. Dealing with a horde of high-class soccer moms was a whole other ball game. Her grip tightened on Ruby's stuff and she stopped at the edge of the bleachers a couple feet away from the other parents. She set the stuff down and lowered herself onto the uncomfortable metal seat.

 

Alex heard footsteps approaching before the voice spoke. She internally groaned. She was going to have to suck it up and adult. "You're not going to see much from over here," the high pitched tone indicated it was a woman speaking. Alex plastered on a smile and turned towards the other woman. She had soccer Mom written all over her. From the overly cheerful smile, to the bouncy ponytail on top her head. "I'm Sydney. Sydney Reynolds. My daughter is number four. You should come sit over there," the woman pointed towards the gaggle of other women. 

 

"Alex Danvers. Mine is number seven," she said without much thought. Her eyes left the woman and found Ruby on the field. Sydney was right; it was tough to see Ruby from over here. Though the thought of moving over to where the other parents were at was terrifying. Alex was a special agent. She was used to dealing with rouge aliens and difficult people. None of her training prepared her for this. Day to day interactions weren't normal for her. All her friends she met through Kara. Her job was her life. She was really out of her depth here. 

 

"Ruby Arias?" Sydney tilted her head in confusion. "You're like Sam's..." she trailed off trying to piece together why she was here instead of Sam. 

 

"Sam's friend," Alex told her without missing a beat. She felt like the other woman was simply fishing for information. Sydney gave a swift nod of understanding. The silence hung between them and Alex realized she wasn't going to quit hovering until she went with her to the other section of the bleachers. "Introduce me to the others?" Alex said weakly. Her heart not really in it. Sydney's smile widened and she immediately began rambling about the different parents and players. Alex settled on the edge of the bottom bleacher eyes searching for Ruby. She was only half listening to Sydney Introduce her as Sam's friend. 

 

"I didn't think Sam had friends," a man one row behind Alex snickered. Alex whipped her head around so fast she was momentarily discombobulated. Her eyes narrow and zero in on the man in an instant. His eyes bug out as if he didn't realize she was listening. It honestly probably looked like she wasn't, but boy was he wrong. Alex was an agent. She was always half listening to everything. Before Alex could rip him a new one; a soft hand slid down her arm and gently cupped her elbow. Alex's gaze shifted in confusion, her eyebrows only furrowing more when she didn't recognize the woman whose hand was now on her arm. Wasn't that kinda an intimate gesture for a stranger? 

 

"They don't always think before they speak. You'd think we were back in high-school," her voice was rich and deep, filled with mirth. "Pamela Littleton," she extended her hand. Alex automatically went to shake it. The woman brushed her fingers against her hand rather than actually shake it. 

 

"Alex Danvers," Alex said after a moment. The woman had her off balance. 

 

Pamela let out a tinkering laugh and nodded her head. "I've heard. Sydney has only repeated your name like five times. You looked like you were drowning over here. I thought I'd come and save the day." She gave Alex a small charming smile. Alex nodded along dumbly. Pamela seemed to understand that Alex wasn't interested in socializing. The other woman fell silent and looked between her phone and the field. After a couple minutes Alex decided it was safe to sneak a glance at the other woman. The game hadn't started yet and Alex was naturally observant. The woman sat with her back straight and her legs crossed. Her long, glossy, strawberry blonde locks fell in loose rings and stopped just above her chest. Her blue eyes were expressive and welcoming. Alex shifted her gaze as Pamela let her eyes wander back to Alex. She wasn't being overly obvious about looking, but she wasn't trying to hide it either. Alex couldn't gauge if she was checking her out, or simply curious about why she was here. Either way, Alex was fine with pretending not to notice the looks and focus on Ruby. 

 

Alex didn't need to pretend for long though. The game started only five minutes behind schedule. Which was surprisingly well done; seeing as they were working with a group of teenage girls. Alex quickly realized that Ruby wasn't exaggerating. Her team was failing miserably. It was almost painful to watch. They had no structure, no strategy, and weren't working together in the slightest. Alex easily picked out everything that needed fixing. After forty minutes the red blew their whistle signaling half-time. Alex stood from the bleachers and walked over to the circle of girls. In the center stood the coach. Not that Alex would even call him a coach. He didn't seem to know much about the game and was currently giving no instruction. Ruby spotted Alex making her way over and cocked her head to the side. Apparently, parents didn't make a habit of interrupting halftime pep talks. 

 

"Hey, Alex Danvers," Alex stopped right beside the man and gave him her best smile. "I noticed you guys were getting killed out there." She gave Ruby an apologetic glance but hastily continued. "I wondered if you noticed they were using a variation of the same play. That three main players carry the team." The man's gaze turned quizzical as if he had no idea what Alex was talking about. 

 

"Uh, no. I haven't exactly noticed that. You see, I'm actually the music teacher here at school. The physical education teacher is out for the season on injury. The rest of us have been subbing her classes and I volunteered to take the girls soccer team. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing." He admitted sheepishly. Alex bobbed her head in understanding. It all made a little sense now. Even if you had good, athletic players; a team needed a leader to get anywhere. Someone to play the kids to their strengths. 

 

"We have ten minutes left in intermission. We can't go over player position, assuming you didn't already have them where you wanted them." The man shook his head no, confirming Alex's theory. "We honestly don't have time to win this game. We do have time to make it harder for the other team though. Think about it as a practice game. Okay?" The girls' attention was immediately drawn to Alex. They listened attentively as Alex gave them some tips. She started by drawing the play the other team seemed to be using. Pointing out the key players and instructing certain girls to be on defense with them. She insisted passing the ball was a good thing, and not to worry if passes got intercepted. It just takes some practice. Alex tried to put things as simply as possible. Ten minutes passed quickly; the whistle blew and the game resumed. The girls ran to their places on the field and Alex returned to the bleachers. The parents watched her curiously as she sat down in the seat she previously occupied. 

 

"Did you play?" Pamela asked within seconds of sitting down. Alex knew the woman was trying to be friendly, but Alex really wanted to focus on the game. Alex nodded absently and gave her undivided attention to the girls on the field. Kick off started the same, but her talk seemed to help. It wasn't a huge difference, but obvious enough to notice. They weren't as discouraged as before and seemed to be having fun. One of the star players from the other team was getting irritated by the defense Alex put on her. By the end of the game the girls were in giggles; even if they did lose miserably. 

 

As soon as the game was done Alex was on her feet. Ruby bounded over and gave the woman a toothy grin. Alex slung her arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. She could feel the sweat and dirty gritty under her palm, but she didn't care. 

 

"Uh. Alex!" The brunette looked up as the coach came rushing over. Alex walked inside with Ruby until the coach was right in front of her. "Did you have any more tips?" Desperation was dripping from his voice. 

 

"Yeah. A lot actually, but it's kinda hard to explain. Some of it is just... hands on?" Alex didn't know how to explain everything that needed to be done to such a newbie. "Why don't you give me your email. I can send you some links and advice." Alex offered. 

 

"Or you could come to practice," the man replied. Alex opened and closed her mouth a couple of times as if deciding how to proceed. Ruby's gaze seemed to lock on and stare a hole into the side of her head. Alex couldn't bring herself to look over to see the hopeful expression on her face. 

 

"I can't really be the coach. I am really busy at work," Alex could feel Ruby deflate beside her. "Maybe I could come to a few? Like as a guest. Nothing official. When is practice?" Alex couldn't bear the thought of letting Ruby down. 

 

The man visibly brightened and immediately nodded his head to her conditions. "Tuesdays and Thursdays, four to five thirty." Alex mentally went through her schedule. She could probably consecutively her Tuesday evenings off. Just for a while. Only come in if there is a crisis. J'onn would probably even encourage her to take some time for herself. 

 

"I'll see you Tuesday then," Alex barely got the words out before Ruby squealed. Alex flinched at the outburst being so close to her ear. The man nodded gratefully and walked back to the field to clean up. Alex steered Ruby back to their stuff. She slung the bag over her shoulder, pulled a water bottle from the cooler for Ruby; then picked up the cooler to leave. 

 

"So we'll be seeing you around then?" Pamela's smooth voice sounded from behind the pair. Alex turned slightly towards the woman. She had a blonde girl at her side; Alex assumed she was the daughter. 

 

"Uh, yeah. I guess you will." Alex nodded curtly. Ruby tugged on Alex's sleeve and announced she was starving. Alex gave a chuckle and excused herself and Ruby. 

 

* * *

 

Alex got a text from Sam around three asking if she didn't mind staying a little later. Alex knew that a little later could mean anywhere from one hour to five. She wasn't surprised though. Once Sam was sucked into work it was hard to get her out. Having nothing better to do, she readily agreed. When Ruby came down the stairs after her shower Alex told her the good news with a smile. Ruby knowingly pulled out the takeout menus. They decided on Chinese and left enough so Sam had dinner to come home to. They got through three full movies and half of another before Ruby was out. Alex let her fall asleep slumped against her side. At the end of the fourth movie, Alex wrapped her arms around the sleeping girl and lifted her gently into her arms. She knew Ruby was at that age that parents wake them up to walk to their rooms. Alex reasoned that she was able to do it, so why not? Ruby just looked so peaceful. Ruby nuzzled her nose against Alex's shoulder as she was carried bridal style to her room. Alex tucked her under the covers and kissed her brow. 

 

Once Ruby was in bed Alex felt out of place in the house. She hadn't put Ruby to bed before, so it was all new. She walked to the standing cabinet beside the tv and slid open the door. Her eyes roved over the titles, widening at the expanse collection. Ruby has been holding out on her! She quickly snatched up the first Harry Potter movie and popped it in the player. She turned off all the lights and settled comfortably on the couch. She pulled the blanket draped over the back cushions over her lap and waited in anticipation for the movie to play.

 

The first movie was just coming to the end when the front door swung open. Alex jumped slightly due to the suspense of the movie but quickly relaxed. It was just Sam. Her attention was glued to the tv as Sam walked deeper into the house and into the living room. Alex patted the empty space next to her and held her finger to her lips indicating she wanted silence. Sam toed off her shoes and fell into the spot beside Alex. They sit in silence for the next five minutes. Alex watching the movie; Sam watching Alex. As the credits roll Alex paused the tv and turned to Sam. Amusement lit the other woman's features. Her lips curled and eyes bright. 

 

"What?" Alex demanded to know what was so funny. 

 

"Nothing," Sam shook her head. Alexis face scrunched up in annoyance and Sam let out a chuckle. "I just haven't seen that level of dedication to Harry Potter since Ruby was ten. It's.. cute." Sam was delighted to find out Alex was a Harry Potter fan. Not only that, but she seemed like a big one. Mouthing the words before they are even said on screen. 

 

"Yeah well; it's been awhile. I don't own them and never bothered to get them. Not much free time." Alex said with a pout. "And I am not cute! I'm fierce." Alex grumbled.

 

"Hmm.. fiercely cute," Sam responded with a devilish smile. Alex nudged Sam's shoulder and gave her what Sam assumed to be an ‘intimidating stare'. Sam decided it added to the look. "What time did Ruby go to bed?" She switched the topic before actually pissing the Agent off. 

 

Alex glanced at the time on her phone. "Eight I think? She was exhausted. Fell asleep halfway through Oz The Great and Powerful." Alex smiled at the thought of Ruby curled up at her side. "She didn't even wake up when I took her to bed," Alex said fondly. 

 

Sam's mouth formed a surprised ‘o'. "You carried her to bed? Last time I checked she weighed one hundred and three pounds!" She exclaimed. 

 

"The key is lifting with your legs," Alex winked playfully. Sam just laughed and rolled her eyes. 

 

"So everything went well then? I mean obviously, they did. Why do I even ask?" Sam folded her hands in her lap and reclined on the couch. "You're probably the safest person to leave her with. Plus you have no life; so when I inevitably end up being," Sam held up her hand and raised her fingers one at a time. "Seven hours late; I know Ruby will have a sitter." The comment was said to be playful but came out a little sad. Alex dropped her hand to Sam's thigh and squeezed gently.

 

"Quit beating yourself up. You're a great mom. Ruby knows you're working so hard for her. She admires it." Alex's knew her words were next to empty. Sam has heard it all before. "Besides, I think Ruby had more fun with me anyways." She added in an attempt to lighten the mood. 

 

"Right, because your magical presences will suddenly make her team stop losing? I think not." Sam was grateful that Alex was trying to keep things light. She couldn't really handle deep conversations right now. Especially with Alex. The lines were already slightly blurred.

 

"Actually," Alex lifted her hand from Sam's thigh and rubbed the back of her neck. "I was thinking of joining you at her next practice. If you don't mind. I like watching her.. even if she is losing." Alex blinked up at Sam. Big brown eyes hopeful. 

 

"Yeah. I suppose that's fine." Sam felt a twinge of disappointment that she had to share Ruby. It was silly, and Sam knew she only felt it because she was tired. Before Alex could respond Sam's stomach let out a loud and unflattering gurgle. 

 

"There's leftover Chinese in the fridge." Alex tugged the blanket off of her and folded it up. "I should get going. It's pretty late. Work in the morning." Alex stood and began cleaning up the living room. Straightening the cushions, turning off the tv, and putting the movie away. Sam stood behind her and trailed after her as she walked to the front door. Alex hovered awkwardly not exactly sure how to part. Sam leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. 

 

"See you Tuesday," Sam said warmly; her lips lingering near Alex's skin. Alex was sure she was going to lean in when her stomach let out another loud rumble. Sam blinked rapidly as if pulling herself out of a haze. "Text me when you're home." 

 

"You're such a Mom," Alex grumbled as she swung open the door. "Goodnight Sam."

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m sorry for the late update! My muse has been a mess lately. It will be sporadic updating but I promise I’m not abandoning the fic! 
> 
> I would like to mention that it was brought to my attention that Alex has red hair. I’m colorblind- hair color can be a huge problem for me. So my apologies. 
> 
> Thanks for all the reviews! They really make my week. Help me continue writing. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> JoW

It’s been almost three weeks since what Alex has deemed ‘the night’. That’s what she referred to it in her head anyway. Three weeks of seeing quite a bit of the Arias girls. She has taken Ruby to the last three Tuesday soccer practices. Sam elected to stay at work so on Thursday’s she didn’t have to go back to the office after practice. She was able to spend the evening with Ruby. The schedule seemed to work well for them both. Funnily enough, they haven’t been to soccer together yet. The first game Sam had work, the second week Alex had a rogue alien dilemma, and last week Sam had the stomach flu. Whenever Alex stopped by to get some extra one on one practice in with Ruby; Sam was usually at work. Occasionally she would be home and come outside and watch them. Ruby was getting better. As was the rest of the team. They haven’t won yet, and haven’t really come close to it, but Alex was certain by the end of the season they would win at least one game. She had them all in positions that worked to their strengths, ran drills that simulated different areas in improvement for the game, and worked on strategy with the coach. Alex was honestly enjoying herself and her time with the team. Especially with Ruby.

Things with Sam have been going just as smoothly. It’s as if nothing has changed. Well, there seemed to be a little more familiarity between the pair. Except Alex didn’t think that really had anything to do ‘the night’. She thought it had everything to do with Ruby. They haven’t even had much time alone, and the time they both spent with Ruby made them at ease around the other.

Alex was actually looking forward to game night for the first time in a while. Alex knew it wasn’t just Sam. That would be silly. Their relationship hasn’t changed that drastically. Since ‘the night’, Alex has been busier. Ruby brightened her week. When Alex had alone time to sit and wallow, the sadness got worse. She wasn’t fixed. She just had something to look forward to. Something to occupy her mind that made her feel genuinely happy. She wasn’t sure exactly how much had to do with Ruby and how much of it was Sam, but she was fine to just keep going as is.

The smile on Alex’s face hadn’t left since she got off work. It was actually threatening to show itself during work. She really freaked out Susan when she laughed in the middle of briefing today. Ruby finally convinced her to get a Snapchat. Kara has been begging her since it came out, but social media was never Alex’s thing. Why get an app that just uses up space when texting was almost exactly the same? After getting multiple snaps from Ruby; Alex admitted it was pretty fun. Especially since Ruby was hilarious.

Alex didn’t have to wait long after knocking on the door for Kara to let her in. Kara took the pizza boxes she was carrying and hurried to put them on the counter. The faster she set them down; the faster she could eat. Kara opened the top box and piled four slices onto her plate. Lena brushed past Alex and slid into place right behind Kara. Her left arm wound around Kara’s waist and her right hand darted out to snatch a piece of pizza from Kara’s plate. Kara could have easily stopped her; superpowers aside. But it was Lena. Lena could get away with anything regarding her sister. Even taking Kara’s food.

Once Kara added another two pieces to her plate; Alex grabbed her own plate. If she didn’t get some now, there wouldn’t be any left. Alex followed Lena and Kara into the living room. She plopped down on the couch beside the lovey couple and ignored the fact that Kara was currently licking pizza sauce off Lena’s cheek.

“You let Kara at the pizza first?” Winn whined as he sprung off the sofa. James stood and followed him into the kitchen.

“Right, because keeping Kara away from pizza is so easy,” Alex mumbled through a bite of pizza. The boys returned and sat down opposite the girls. Lena was the first to finish eating; so she started setting up the game. It was Mario Kart night. Kara wasn’t playing. She broke far too many controllers. “Sam still at work?” Alex asked setting her plate on the side table.

“She’s not coming. Ruby isn’t feeling well; Sam stayed home with her.” Lena said distractedly. Alex paused mid-bite, pizza dangling in the air inches from her mouth. She set the pizza down, wiped the grease off on a napkin, and pulled her phone from her back pocket. She blinked in surprise. No new messages from Sam or Ruby. Not that she should be expecting to be updated. Except she was. She spoke with Sam nearly.. not nearly. It’s been daily for the past week and a half. Funny things Ruby said throughout the day, ranting about her work week, and general scheduling details. Why would Sam neglect to tell her Ruby was sick? Alex would’ve offered to help. Keep her company. Bring snacks; unless it was the stomach flu. Maybe not snacks. Alex realized she had no idea what to do with a sick anyone. Is that why Sam didn’t contact her? She thought Alex could handle it? Alex’s frown deepened. She shouldn’t even expect a text. Sam wasn’t her girlfriend. Ruby wasn’t her daughter. She just cared so much. She just assumed Sam would tell her if something was wrong with Ruby. Alex mulled it over for a couple more seconds before a thought hit her. What if Ruby was really sick? Like really, really sick? Alex’s mind instantly went to the worst place possible.

“I actually have to go.” Alex stood abruptly. Alex purposefully avoided Kara’s gaze as she picked up her plate and hurried to the kitchen. Is this what being a parent felt like? Alex let her plate clatter in the sink while she scrolled through her contacts. She pressed Sam’s name and brought the phone to her ear. It rang twice and went directly to voicemail. “Hey Sam, just calling to check up on Ruby. Call me back when you have time.” Alex really tried to keep the panic from her voice. She didn’t think she did a very good job of it though. She was in a blind flurry.

Alex left the apartment in a hurry. She was halfway to the parking lot when her phone buzzed. She pulled it out hoping to god it was Sam. It was the next best thing. It was a Snapchat from Ruby. Alex unlocked her phone in a rush. A video message. Alex turned up her volume and pressed down on the purple square.

_“You better send me a video of you kicking my mom's butt at Mario Kart!”_ Ruby laughed into the phone. Alex replayed the video just so she could see Ruby’s healthy, smiling face. Alex let out a breath of relief. The clutch she had on her phone loosened. Ruby was safe. Ruby was well. Ruby was obviously not at home. Why was Sam then? Unless she wasn’t. Alex’s body went limp as comfort washed over her in waves. She clutched her chest and took a couple deep breaths. After calming down Alex realized how foolish she was acting. She lost her head with the smallest amount of information. She jumped to conclusions. She disregarded her training. Alex’s phone began buzzing once again. Call from Kara. Alex accepted the call and propped the phone between her ear and shoulder.

_“Hey Alex, I know you don’t like it when I eavesdrop. I heard you call Sam about Ruby. You don’t need to worry. Lena was just on her story. It seems that Ruby is out with some friends. I don’t know why Sam would lie. But Ruby’s okay.”_

Alex appreciated what Kara was trying to do. Alex climbed onto the back of her bike and let out a long sigh. “Thanks for letting me know. I’m still going to head home. I’m tired.” Alex didn’t care if the lie was transparent. She didn’t care if Kara saw right through her. All as Alex felt was numb. She said goodbye to Kara and ignored her sister’s multiple questions. Alex might not have responded to Kara’s questions, but the blondes words weighed on her mind. Now her worry was turned on another Arias.

* * *

Alex rocked back on her feet and stared at the door in front of her. The door she had been contemplating to knock on for the last minute and a half. She was so sure coming over here was the best decision. Though now that she was actually here; the decision seemed crazy and terrifying. She had to wonder how Sam worked up the courage to come to her last time. If she felt this level of conflict course through her body. In the end, the need to make sure Sam was alright was too strong to ignore. She lifted her hand and rapped her knuckles against the solid wood. She wasn’t surprised when her first round of knocks went unanswered. She could picture Sam sitting on the couch, in the dark living room, pretending to already be asleep. Alex knew better. She continued knocking; knowing that eventually Sam would get annoyed and come let her in. Minutes passed and Alex was starting to doubt Sam was home. The possibility worried Alex even more. Alex‘s fist hit the door over and over until it was starting to sting. Her methodical knocks were turning into spastic pounds. Her chest was tight with worry, and she wouldn’t give up the feeling that Sam was home. That Sam was merely ignoring her. The door swung open and Alex’s hand hit empty space. She quickly dropped her arm and stared up at Sam. She registered the sour look on the other woman’s face and almost began to regret coming. Then she looked a little closer and noticed some other things. Sam’s hollow eyes, stiff posture, and very uncharacteristic attire. She looked not only exhausted but also so tightly wound that she would snap at any second. Alex quickly decided that Sam wouldn’t hesitate to slam the door in her face if she handled this wrong.

“I heard Ruby is sick,” Alex bit her lip and wrung her hands together. She was the perfect picture of innocence. “I couldn’t get ahold of you, and I started to worry; so I decided to zip over and check up.” It wasn’t a lie, not really. That was what she was coming to do in the first place. Before she found out Ruby wasn’t sick, and that she wasn’t even home. Now she had to play her cards right and get in the door.

“You’re sweet,” Alex could see the smallest flash of guilt cross Sam’s features as she spoke. Apparently, the guilt wasn’t stronger than her need to bottle up her emotions. “Ruby is fine though. She’s holed up watching Twilight.” Sam continued to lie; which Alex actually expected.

“Great. I love Twilight.” Alex could tell Sam wasn’t expecting that answer. Nor was she expecting Alex to push her way into the house. Alex ignored Sam’s protests and made her way through the dark into the empty living room. “Oh,” Alex took one last glance around. “She must be upstairs.” Alex darted past Sam; who stood silent and dumbfounded.

“Alex, wait!” Sam called from behind her. Alex proceeded up the stairs, taking them two at a time; knowing full well Ruby wasn’t up there. Alex didn’t even glance at Ruby’s bedroom door; she passed it and turned left into Sam’s instead. Sam was close behind and she stopped briefly at the doorway before hesitantly stepping inside. Alex assumed she was worried about having to explain where Ruby was. Alex obviously needed no explanation, and she wasn’t going to give Sam the time to try and come up with something.

“Comfort goes both ways Sam,” Alex’s words caused Sam’s eyes to snap to Alex’s face. Searching her eyes for an answer that she already knew.

“W-what?” Sam stuttered out anyways.

“I said,” Alex took a step closer. “Comfort goes,” another step. “Both. Ways.” By the end of her sentence, she was directly in front of Sam. Without much thought, she crushed her lips roughly against Sam. It was different than last time. Where before it was slow and gentle, this was fast and hard. Sam responded immediately. Teeth clashed, tongues battled, and lips were quickly bruised. In one swift move, Sam spun Alex around and had her pinned to the wall. She let out a grunt that was drowned out by the thud of her back and shoulders hitting the plaster behind her. Sam’s leg slid between her own and lifted up until it was pressed against her clothed center. Alex’s hips canted forward in attempt to relieve the ache. Sam’s lips were brutal and unrelenting. Intoxication took over Alex’s body. She didn’t even register the unbuttoning of her pants until long fingers cupped her center. Alex’s back arched off the wall and pressed firmly against Sam’s front. Sam made two swift swipes with her finger before finding Alex’s entrance and plunging in. The sudden action stretched Alex and caused a small pinch. It did nothing to quell the rising heat knotting in Alex’s stomach. If anything it spurred her on even more.

“You’re soaked,” Sam’s voice was raspy in Alex’s ear; sounding way too pleased with herself. Alex let out a weak mewl as Sam pulled out and promptly thrust back into her while simultaneously adding another finger. She stretched deliciously around Sam’s digits and rocked her hips to meet Sam’s erratic pace.

“Sam,” Alex hiked her leg around Sam’s hip. Trying to bring her even closer; which wasn’t really possible. Sam was already pressed against every angle of Alex’s body. “More,” Alex whimpered breathlessly. Sam smiled against Alex’s skin and pressed her thumb to Alex’s clit. The sudden contact and intense touch brought a cry and bucking hips out of the redhead. Sam curled her fingers and rubbed small circles around Alex’s sensitive clit. A couple well placed rough strokes and Alex was tumbling over the edge. Her body tensed and shook against Sam. She lost the ability to hold herself up and slumped into Sam’s body. The brunette’s fingers continued slowly pumping until the last shudder left Alex.

Sam didn’t give Alex much time before lifting her up and dropping her in a heap on her bed. Alex scrambled back on the bed as Sam readily climbed on top of her. Sam’s hands immediately began working on the buttons of Alex’s flannel. Alex’s hand shot out and her fingers wrapped around Sam’s wrists. Sam froze and looked down in confusion.

“Comfort goes both ways, Sam,” Alex repeated. “Let me please you.” Sam’s breath hitched and she let Alex’s shirt drop from her hands. Alex ran her hands up Sam’s arms, down her chest, then to the hem of her shirt. She began tugging the baggy t-shirt over Sam’s head. Alex went slowly, giving Sam ample time to stop her. As she pulled the material off her lips danced across Sam’s skin. Hard and fast was fine with Alex, but that wasn’t what Sam needed. Sam still needed to feel in control, but she also needed to be taken care of. Alex hooked her fingers on the waist of Sam’s leggings. She pulled the tight material down her body, shimming down on the bed so she was in her back under Sam’s thighs. Alex’s lips peppered light kisses on the inside of Sam’s thighs. Her hands rested on Sam’s waist and gently tugged her down, closer to her mouth. Alex pressed a firm kiss against Sam’s panty covered center. Sam’s moan was quiet but told Alex all she needed to know. “Can I please you, Sam?” Alex’s breath was hot against Sam’s center. The woman above her shuddered slightly and answered with a quick yes.

Alex peeled off Sam’s underwear. Helping her lift each knee so she was able to get the garment completely off. As soon as Sam was settled above her; Alex went to work. She made no move to tease Sam. Her tongue dove into the waiting heat with enthusiasm. Sam jolted forward. Her hands searched for something to hang on to. She just closed her hands around the headboard when Alex dipped lower and thrust into her entrance.

“Oh god,” Sam ground her hips down pushing further on Alex’s face. “Alex,” Sam panted while dropping her head forward. Alex set a quick pace that was pushing Sam closer and closer to the edge. Sam gripped the headboard tighter. Her thighs tensed around Alex’s head. The redhead’s fingers dug into Sam’s waist. She held the other woman’s jerking hips firmly as her tongue drove in and out of her. Alex slid her hand down just far enough to press her thumb gently over Sam’s clit. The brunette’s hips buck wildly and she throws her head back. Alex feels her walls tightening around her mouth. She used the pad of her thumb to tip Sam over the edge.

“Alex, Alex, Alex... “ Sam gasped. Alex didn’t stop as Sam thrashed above her. Sam lifted her hips pulling away as Alex’s tongue darted out skimming across the edge of Sam’s now sensitive clit. Alex‘s grip tightened and she pulled Sam back down to her waiting mouth. Sam let out a cry and her back arched. Alex wished she could see her about to unravel for the second time. Alex’s tongue made tighter circles around Sam’s bud while slipping a single finger inside of her. She curled it once, again, and a third time. That coupled with sucking Sam’s clit between her lips had the brunette silently screaming out. This time Alex slowly eased her off of her tongue and hand. She scooted out from under Sam and rested her head on the pillow. She lowered Sam’s hips so she was resting against her stomach. Sam let out a whimper when her center brushed against Alex’s clothes. Sam’s body slowly relaxes as she comes down from her high. She drops the headboard and rolls over so she is on her back beside Alex. The pair laid in silence both catching their breath. Sam’s phone buzzed on the nightside table. She reached over. Just a goodnight text from Ruby. She responded quickly and noticed the voicemail from Alex. She put the phone to her ear and listened to the voicemail.

“Alex?” Sam put her phone aside and got the Agent’s attention. “Did you really think Ruby was sick?”

Alex rolled onto her side and propped her head on her hand. “At first, yeah,” Alex confirmed with a slight nod. “I mean, that’s what Lena told me.” Alex shrugged.

“What changed?” Sam prodded. She and Alex were friends before- whatever this is that they’re doing. Talking about Ruby was a safe topic for them.

“Well,” Alex glanced down sheepishly. “I kinda thought something was really wrong.” She admitted slowly.

“Why would you think that?” Sam knew getting information out of Alex could be like pulling teeth.

“I just thought.. it sounds stupid now.” Alex sighed. “I thought if Ruby was sick you would tell me. One of you at least. Which I know- not really my business. I just thought you would tell me yourself. Then I thought that since you didn’t it must be really bad. I might’ve panicked a little bit and left before game night even started.” Sam was quiet as Alex explained what happened. She should’ve realized her mistake sooner. Of course, Alex would worry about Ruby. She has been acting like part of their family for the past three weeks straight. Not to mention the role she played to Ruby when she was Reign. It was foolish of her not to think of that. Alex was new to this parenting thing.

“How’d you go from concern about Ruby’s health to fucking her mother senseless?” Sam tilted her head so she could see the flush spread across the other woman’s face.

“You see; I got a Snapchat from Ruby. I realized she wasn’t sick. She wasn’t even at home. You were using her as an excuse to stay in.” Alex was veering off the topic of Ruby and dragging Sam into the light. Sam started to tense, but Alex continued. “I assumed you didn’t tell me directly that Ruby was sick because I’d ask too many questions and see right through your flimsy excuse. A text or phone call with Lena would be easier. I would hear about it after I’m already there. Which is true, I did. Then after finding out the truth, I figured you were staying home for a reason. Something you obviously didn’t want to talk about, or you would’ve called me with your Ruby excuse. I decided that if you didn’t want to talk; I would come over and we would do just that. Not talk.” Alex pushed herself up into a sitting position. She buttoned up the few buttons on her shirt Sam managed to get undone.

“So it’s a thing now?” Sam asked carefully.

Alex shrugged, “yeah.” Alex said casually. Her heart pounded in her rib cage. She hoped it was the answer Sam was looking for. “Comforting a friend, right?” Her lip curled into a soft smile.

“Yeah, comforting a friend.” Sam echoed in agreement. Both women knew deep down how stupid this was. How already complex their relationship was. Neither of them cared. They told themselves that they could keep it casual.

“Alex,” Sam called just before Alex exited her room. “If Ruby gets sick, I’ll call you.”

* * *

Sam’s knuckles were white against the steering wheel. She couldn’t help the fury that radiated through her body, but there was also a strong sense of worry.

It started with a phone call from Ruby. Her small voice on the other end of the phone asking Sam if she could take her to soccer. On a Tuesday. Sam hasn’t taken Ruby to soccer for three weeks. Ruby greeted her when she got home. A smile on her face and reassurance that it was fine. Alex probably just forgot, or got busy with work. Sam was all smiles and pretended not to notice the look in Ruby’s eyes. The look she promised herself would never cross Ruby’s face again. Not by Sam’s hand. The look of disappointment as someone Ruby is told she can rely on letting her down. Sam was so angry. Not just with Alex, but with herself. For letting herself get comfortable and able to count on another adult. She couldn’t help the light flutter of worry that bubbled in her stomach. Alex had never done anything like this before. She was one of the most reliable people Sam knew. Alex showed up everywhere ten minutes early, Alex called ahead when plans changed, Alex wouldn’t have just left Ruby stranded like that. She loved Ruby. Right? Sam was doubting everything right now. She called five times with no answer. Sam didn’t know what to think. She could call Kara? Sam tapped a couple buttons on the front panel of her car. It rang twice before sending her to voicemail. Sam let out a huff of irritation. She wished she had a number for the DEO. Then she could get ahold of them and see what Alex was up to. Then it dawned on her. Winn was probably at work right now. Winn’s number she did have.

She called Winn three times before he picked up. He grumbled about needing to save the world, but Sam knew if there really was an emergency he wouldn’t have picked up.

“Can I please speak to Agent Danvers?” Sam asked as formally as possible.

_“She’s home today. Sleeping it off after last night. Besides, this time on Tuesday she’s never here.”_ Winn said cheerfully.

“I see. Thank you,” Sam felt the anger start to boil over. She hung up before Winn had time to get out a complete you’re welcome. Sam’s skin felt hot. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel. She was already almost to Alex’s house. Her rage seemed to triple, quadruple. Alex was passed out? After a long night? That’s why she left Ruby? That’s why Ruby had to explain to all her friends that Alex had a work emergency? Sam parked her car, threw open the door, and stalked towards the apartment. She stomped up the stairs and reached Alex’s door in record time. Sam pounded on the door for thirty seconds before losing patience and trying the handle. Surprisingly it was unlocked. She slammed the door behind her as she entered the dark house. If Sam didn’t know better she would think Alex wasn’t home. She went directly to the bedroom and flicked on the lights. She blinked to adjust to the change and her eyes immediately landed on the lump in the bed. Alex laid face down on her stomach. Head turned to the right, facing the wall.

“Seriously Alex?” Sam’s voice cut through the silent room. The normally alert agent didn’t even stir. Sam grabbed a book off the shelf beside her and tossed it at the sleeping woman. It landed with a thud on her lower back. “Alex!” The book was accompanied by a loud shout. This did wake the redhead from her slumber. Alex groaned and buried her head in the pillow.

“Light off,” she begged. Sam wasn’t in a forgiving mood. There were a couple beats of silence as Sam decided where she wanted to start ripping into Alex. “Sam?” Alex seemingly just realized that Sam was in her apartment. “What are you doing here? What time is it?” Alex’s voice was muffled by the pillow she still had her head pressed into. Sam could only see the back of her tangled hair and the side of her left cheek.

“Seriously? Let me guess. You also don’t know what day it is. You just forgot, spaced; that you gave your word to my daughter. My daughter who worships the ground you walk on. My daughter who expected you to be there. Who counted on you to show up.” Tears blurred Sam’s vision. She swiped at her cheeks angrily. She hated that Alex has reduced her to this.

“Ruby? What about Ruby?” Alex mumbled out as if not understanding. Then realization seemed to dawn on her. “Is it Tuesday? Oh god. It’s Tuesday. Soccer. Shit. Sam... is she okay? Of course she isn’t okay. I didn’t- I’m so sorry,” Alex started to flip over. She rolled onto her side, then onto her back. She tried to sit up but went to fast which caused her to hiss in pain.

“Oh my god! Alex, your face.” Alex grunted and fell back into the pillows after an unsuccessful attempt to sit up. Her right arm wrapped around her body. Resting under her breasts and clutching her rib cage.

“That good huh?” Alex let out a dry chuckle. Sam’s anger was quickly morphing into worry. Her brow crinkled and the tears of fury turned into tears of fear. “Hey, Sam. Look at me.” Alex struggled to sit up again. Sam realized what she was trying to do; so she moved to the side of the bed and gently pressed Alex into the mattress. She pulled away from her hand and Alex was quick to wrap her fingers around her wrist. “Sam, I’m okay.” Alex’s words meant nothing to Sam. Her puffy bottom lip, the purple bruise forming next to her right eye, and the way she held her ribcage told Sam a different story. Alex was not okay. Sam shook her head and let out a whimper. She should not be the one breaking down right now. Alex was the one who was hurt. The sudden onslaught of emotion was too much for her to handle. Alex tugged gently on her wrist, guiding Sam to sit down on the bed.

“Come here,” Alex continued to maneuver Sam until the taller woman had a thigh on either side of her body; and was perched on her lap. Alex urged Sam to lean down so their faces were inches apart. Alex lifted her head and brushed her lips feather light over Sam’s. She pressed a kiss to her nose, both her cheeks, her forehead, then landed again on her mouth. “I’m okay,” Alex repeated between kisses. Sam let out a small sob and pressed herself more roughly against Alex. She needed to feel her. Alex returned the kiss with just as much vigor, but couldn’t help the wince of pain that shot through her body at the increased pressure of Sam’s lips. Sam immediately pulled back. Guilt flooding her watery gaze. Alex was quick to lock her arms around Sam’s shoulders. Alex lifted her head again and pressed another kiss solidly against Sam’s. The tear residue left salt lingering on Alex’s mouth. Alex continued peppering Sam’s skin with light kisses. Sam was reluctantly responding. Slowly relaxing back into her. Alex could tell she was fighting with herself. Telling herself no. “Comfort me, Sam, please,” Alex whispered against Sam’s skin.

“You’re hurt. I can’t- we can’t,” Sam pulled away so her forehead was resting against Alex’s. Alex ignored Sam’s words and pressed forward to capture her lips again. Alex knew she couldn’t do much more than kissing. She had trouble moving and her skin was covered in bruises. Alex just needed to feel Sam. Sam refused to give Alex what she wanted. She didn’t want to deprive Alex of what she needed, but she wasn’t willing to risk her health. “You’re hurt,” Sam repeated. “This isn’t happening until you’re healed.” Sam pressed her hand into Alex’s chest and moved to swing her leg over Alex’s body. Alex’s right hand tightened on Sam’s shoulder, and her left flew to the moving leg. Sam looked down at Alex. The desperation in her eyes made the brunette pause.

“Sam,” Alex took a breath and averted her eyes. “Stay here. No funny business. Just... lay down. Please?” Alex looked back up at Sam. Her eyes wide and trusting. Her fingertips brush against Sam’s cheek, trail down her neck, and rest on her shoulder. “You know... the way we screw on counters, couches, and against walls; while lovely- it isn’t the fucking that makes it comforting.” _It’s you_ , was left unsaid. The vulnerability on Alex’s face was crippling. As if a part of her expected Sam to reject her request. Though if roles were reversed; Sam might just have the same doubts.

“Okay,” Sam carefully slid her body down so her torso was lined up with Alex’s body. She laid her head down so it was just below Alex’s chin. Alex let out a small groan once Sam’s full weight was rested on her. She was quick to slide a hand into her hair. The thin digits sliding through the silky strands; careful not to pull any tangles. “Aren’t I hurting you?” Sam asked worriedly. She was bigger than Alex. This couldn’t be good for her.

“Mm, just a little,” Alex admitted. Before Sam moved she said, “it’s worth it.” Sam let out a sigh. Alex was probably hurting more than she let on, but she also knew the agent had a very high pain tolerance. “They aren’t broken. Just bruised.” She said referring to her ribs.

“That makes me feel so much better,” Sam deadpanned. “What else did you hurt?”

“Uh. Bruising on my legs, stomach, back, face. Possible, very minor concussion. Sprained ankle.” Alex listed off the symptoms like it was just another day. Which for her, it probably was.

“I feel like such an ass,” Sam admitted. Alex’s hand continued running soothingly through her hair.

“You feel like an ass? I feel like an ass!” Alex said. Sam cranes her head in an attempt to see Alex’s face. To see if she was serious. Apparently, she was. “I left Ruby. I must’ve forgotten to tell Kara to set my alarm. Will she forgive me?” Worry colored Alex’s voice. In reality, Alex was way too out of it to remind Kara to set an alarm.

“She’ll forgive you,” Sam spoke with certainty. “She’s a kid. Forgive and forget. Besides, she’ll understand that you’re hurt. Don’t worry about it.” Sam glanced at the clock and sighed. “I have to get going. They already probably think I’m the worlds worst Mom for leaving her there. It’s not like I just left either. I asked one of them to keep an eye on her.”

“You spoke to the soccer moms? Which one did you ask?” Alex knew for a fact that Sam avoided interaction with them at all costs. They haven’t attended together before, but the way Sam complained was proof enough.

“The short blonde, green eyes, ponytail,” Sam answered with a shrug. She didn’t have much of a choice to talk to them. She needed someone to watch Ruby.

“Sydney isn’t short! She’s just as tall as me.” Alex smacked Sam gently on her shoulder. Sam lifted herself up so she was balanced on her elbows; bringing her to eye level with Alex.

“Yes, well, you’re short too.” Sam pecked Alex’s lips gently as she continued pushing herself up and off of the smaller woman. “It’s adorable that you know all their names,” Sam added.

“If I wasn’t injured I would be withholding sex right now,” Alex grumbled. “Short and adorable in one sentence? We’ve got to work on your description of me.” Her lip curled into a pout.

Sam let out a musical laugh, “I think it’s pretty accurate.” She said making Alex’s pout deepen. “And meant to be taken as a compliment.” She was quick to reassure.

“Not everyone is a gorgeous freaking giant,” Alex crossed her arms over her chest.

Sam rolled her eyes and straightened the wrinkles out of her clothes. “Need anything before I go?” Her eyes met Alex’s through the mirror as she fixed her appearance.

“Turn off the lights?” Alex’s quick reaction has Sam looking away sheepishly.

“Of course,” Sam said as she moved to the door. “I’ll make sure Ruby knows you really didn’t want to miss practice. Feel better.” Sam shut off the lights and exited the room.

* * *

Alex plopped down on the couch after struggling out of her room and using the bathroom. She unfolded a blanket across her lap and flicked on the tv. She scrolled through Netflix and decided on Friends. She has seen it enough times that she could mindlessly listen and not pay attention. She was halfway through the first episode when the sound of the front door opening caused her to lift her head. Light flooded the living room and Alex craned her head to see who was here.

“Rubes, watch the lights. She has a headache.” Sam’s voice filtered through the room.

“Actually I took some Advil. I feel fine now,” which wasn’t a lie. She did take the Advil; however, she didn’t feel fine. Better than before, but still in pain.

“You’re up!” Sam said in surprise as she shut the door behind herself and Ruby. “We’re going to make chili,” Sam added as she moved into the kitchen with a bag of ingredients.

“Alex!” Ruby raced from the kitchen into the living room. She slowed when she reached her and sat down gingerly next to the redhead.

“Ruby, hey kid.” Alex hoped Ruby couldn’t tell how nervous she was. She hadn’t expected to face her this soon. She was all smiles and forgiveness; just like Sam said she would be. “I’m-“

“Not about to apologize for getting hurt. Right?” Ruby interrupted her raising an eyebrow. _She’s been spending too much time with Lena,_ Alex thought while taking in Ruby’s expression.

“No. I’m going to apologize for not showing up, and how it made you feel,” Alex responded. “It doesn’t matter why I wasn’t there. You’re a kid, you don’t have to worry about that.” Alex said before Ruby could argue.

“If you really need to hear it; then you’re forgiven.” Ruby smiles. “How are you feeling?” Alex could see the worry in Ruby’s eyes. Alex knew it looked worse than it was.

“I’m really okay Ruby. Nothing major. I can even make it to the game on Sunday.” Alex reassured the girl.

“Okay enough for cuddling?” Ruby asked scooting closer. She grabbed the hem of the blanket and Alex clamped her hand down on Ruby’s hand. “What?” The girl pouted. “You always share.” She tried to move Alex’s hand.

“I’m...” Alex's voice trails off into a whisper just in case Sam was listening. That plan backfired.

“What?!” Ruby squealed. “You’re not wearing any pants?” Her laughter shook the whole house. Alex’s face turned red and she nodded her head. Ruby’s outburst drew Sam’s attention. The brunette put the chili on simmer and walked into the living room. Her expectant gaze met an embarrassed one.

“I didn’t know I was going to have company,” Alex defended herself. Ruby let out another squeaky laugh. Sam was holding back her own laughter. “I had to pee. I couldn’t get my pants up myself. Bending at that angle isn’t really an option.” Alex said self consciously.

“You could’ve just asked for help when we came in,” Sam pointed out.

“I Thought I could keep the blanket over my legs and avoid the embarrassment of not being able to dress myself,” Alex grumbled. Sam just shook her head in amusement and disappeared again. “It’s really not that big of a deal. We’re all women- right?” Ruby’s delighted face told Alex it wasn’t about being half naked. It was the humor behind her trying to hide it.

Sam walked back into the living room holding a clean pair of sweatpants. She nudged Alex’s feet off the coffee table. “Ruby wants to cuddle, I’ll help you with these,” Sam said holding out the pants.

“Only for you kid,” Alex sucked in a breath as she stood up. Pain radiated through her body. The blanket dropped exposing her new bruises. Ruby’s eyes grew the size of dinner plates and Sam’s brow furrowed in worry. The bruises weren’t actually that bad on her legs. Lighter and less plentiful than on her stomach. Sam crouched down and gently lifted Alex’s right leg just enough to get the pant leg around it. She did the same with the left; then carefully pulled the material all the way up. Her hands naturally rested on Alex’s hips, her chocolate gaze searching Alex for any sign of pain. They were nearly nose to nose; a breath away from the other.

“Are you going to make out?” Ruby jested and broke them out of their trance. “I mean that’s cool. I just would like a warning so I can make myself busy.” She added with a cheeky grin.

Sam let out a musical laugh and rolled her eyes. “You think you’re so cute,” Sam pulled away from Alex and walked past Ruby. “Though if that’s what you think friends do; I should probably be concerned.”

Alex was grateful that Sam handled that one. Ruby was obviously kidding, but it hit too close to home. Alex settled back on the couch and Ruby tucked herself against her side. Alex pulled the blanket over them and started the episode she was watching over.

“Alex?” Ruby’s voice was whispered. “Would you want to?” She asked just as quietly.

“Want to what?” Alex looked down at the girl resting on her chest.

“Make out with my mom?” The question caught Alex off guard. She and Sam had been doing a good job of keeping things platonic around the others. Especially Ruby. “I know you guys are mostly friends because of me, but she’s really great. And you’re really great, so..” Ruby stopped talking when Alex pressed a finger to her lips.

“I think your mom is perfectly capable of finding someone herself.“ Alex glanced over her shoulder to confirm Sam was clueless to their conversation.

“That’s not a no,” Ruby pried Alex’s finger from in front of her lips.

“It’s a no kiddo,” Alex hated directly lying. She felt she had to though. Ruby was just a kid. She would understand the casual thing she and Sam had. Alex barely understood it. Ruby couldn’t hope for more. Alex would just let her; let them both down. “Besides, we’re already family. I don’t have to make out with your mom for that to be true.” Alex smiled warmly. Ruby seemed to have more to say, but Sam came in with steaming bowls of chili. She set three bowls down in a line on the coffee table.

“Did you want sour cream? Shredded cheese? Crackers?” Sam asked.

“I’m good,” Alex didn’t want to make more work for Sam. She was already making her dinner. Which was weird as is. Sam nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen. When she came back seconds later she had a sleeve of saltines and two glasses of milk.

“Did you bring the whole grocery store? I know I didn’t have any of this stuff,” Alex motioned to the food and drinks. She knew for a fact that she didn’t have milk in her fridge.

“I brought what we needed,” Sam sank down on the couch beside Ruby. The Arias girls crushed crackers over their soup and Alex copied them.

Ruby filled Alex in on soccer practice. Coach Melrose’s meltdown when he found out Alex wasn’t coming. He used the practice plan she had for Thursday and made Ruby promise to pass the message that he needed something new for Thursday along. Sam cleaned up the dishes when they were finished.

“Ruby, you have school tomorrow.” Sam reminded gently. Ruby scowled and made a big production of hugging Alex goodbye.

“See you Sunday,” Ruby said as she pulled back from Alex’s embrace. “I’m really glad you’re okay.” She added with a smile.

“Night Ruby,” Alex smiled back. “See you Sunday, drive safe.” She directed the last part mostly at Sam. The two women shared a warm look before Ruby was tugging Sam out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to chat on Tumblr @2manyships2name


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's Friday, so I'm posting. I hope everyone likes this chapter. I do for sure. More soccer game shenanigans. 
> 
> I would like to thank everyone who left comments. I try to respond to everyone, but sometimes I miss things or just don't know what to say. 
> 
> A huge shout out to my beta reader @koalatygirl. For putting up with my monster amount of content that I have been throwing out recently. Couldn't do it without you. 
> 
> Please enjoy :)

The scent of coffee grounds filled her nose as she pushed open the door. She did a sweep of the restaurant with her eyes, something she did anytime she entered a building. Being an agent was exhausting. The amount of danger, death, and threats seen on the job changes a person. Alex was no different. No longer could she live in a blissful oblivion as the rest of the population. Alex stopped her sweep as her eyes landed on two very familiar figures. The two figures she was supposed to be meeting today. In another twenty minutes. Kara was never early. Lena was usually late. Running a company meant running on different time than everyone else. Lena’s head was bent low next to Kara’s. They seemed to be in the middle of a serious conversation. What Alex would give to have super hearing right now. Alex really had no idea what she was walking into. Kara sent her a text asking Alex to join herself and Lena for lunch. Alex knew Lena rarely took a lunch break, and whenever she did have a spare minute it was spent with Kara. Which the whole situation feel like one big trap to Alex.

Alex moved silently through the crowded tables. She knew the second Kara noticed her. She didn’t know if it was her heartbeat, scent, or sound of her footsteps that alerted the blonde, but Kara was always pretty quick to figure out where she was.

“Hey, Alex!” Kara gave her sister a bright smile. A little too bright of a smile if you ask Alex. “How are you feeling?” Kara follows up immediately.

“I’m good,” Alex said as she slid into the booth across from the couple. Kara’s gaze flicked to her bruise. Alex knew Kara blamed herself for this one. The alien had her pinned and Alex stepped in. Well, more like charged in. Jumping on the alien three times her size and strength. It tossed her aside like a wet noodle. It did give Kara enough time to get up and apprehend him. Kara opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted by an excited and shrill voice.

“Coach Alex!” Alex turned just in time to open her arms and catch the petite frame of Ainsley Reynolds. The impact of her tiny body against Alex’s ribs wasn’t pleasant, but the smile on Ainsley’s face made up for it.

Alex missed the glances exchanged between Lena and Kara. _‘Coach Alex?’_ was mouthed by Lena. Kara shrugged in an indication that she had no idea what that was about.

“Why aren’t you at school missy?” Alex playfully arched an eyebrow at the blonde.

“I got a shot,” Ainsley pulled up her sleeve to reveal a flower bandaid. “Mom said I could get lunch and a milkshake before going back to school.” Alex looked over Ainsley’s head. Sure enough, Sydney was on her way over.

“We missed you on Tuesday,” Sydney put her hand on Ainsley’s shoulder and leaned her hip against the side of the booth. Alex turned in her seat to face Sydney as they spoke. Sydney spotted the bruise on Alex’s face and the cut on her lip. “What happened to you? Is that why you were gone on Tuesday? Ruby said you had work,” Alex couldn’t get a word in edgewise as Sydney babbled.

“She got hurt at work,” Ainsley interrupted her mother. “She’s an FBI agent. Ruby said so,” she added helpfully.

“It looks worse than it feels,” Alex didn’t address the FBI thing. That’s the lie she usually told when asked about her career. “I am bummed that I missed practice though,” Alex said honestly.

“Melrose nearly lost it! You should’ve seen his face when Ruby told him. Total panic. I wish I had a camera,” Ainsley cackled. “Are you all better now? Can you come on Sunday?” Alex had to work to keep up with Ainsley’s quickly changing moods and topics.

“I’ll be there on Sunday,” Alex promised. A wide smile broke out across Ainsley’s face. It amazed Alex on how fast the kids got attached to her.

“Come on darling, let’s let Alex get back to her lunch,” Sydney gently steered Ainsley away from the table. “See you Sunday coach,” Sydney said as they walked away. Alex slowly turned so she was once again facing her sister and Lena. She smiled sheepishly as she took in Kara’s wide, confused blue gaze. They both seemed to be wanting an explanation. Which made sense. Alex hadn’t exactly discussed her time spent as a soccer coach with her sister.

“I’ve been coaching Ruby’s soccer team,” Alex offered. She then fell silent. She wasn’t sure exactly what to say about it. The silence stretched for a couple beats, then Lena spoke.

“On Tuesday evenings?” Alex nodded in confirmation.

“I told you she wasn’t in therapy,” Kara blurted out. Alex narrowed her eyes and looked between the two women.

“It was a better theory than any of your ideas,” Lena huffed. “Cooking classes? A secret project? A weekly casual hookup?” Lena listed off the things she and Kara had previously talked about. Both Danvers turned red. Kara more than Alex, but they definitely both had some color in their cheeks.

“Don’t you guys have anything better to talk about?” Alex asked in annoyance. She knew Kara cared and that’s why they were speculating, but it was still irritating.

“So you’ve been helping Sam?” Kara tried switching the subject. She knew how touchy her sister got when she thought people were talking about her.

“No,” Alex said testily. She was already feeling defensive. Kara’s wording made her feel like Sam was being attacked. “Sam doesn’t need help. Once, like weeks ago I helped her out; then Ruby asked me to stay. The team needed some direction,” Alex explained. “She’s been getting really good too. Ruby’s a natural,” she puffed out her chest proudly. Talking about Ruby calmed her down.

“So you’ve been spending a lot of time with them?” Alex realized Kara seemed to be studying her. Looking for something specific.

“Kara, what is this lunch really about?” Alex has always been the cut to the chase type. She didn’t like dancing around things. Inquiries about Sam put her on edge. She needed to know what Kara was asking. Why she was asking. Alex knew better than to give more information before knowing where the line of questioning was leading. She couldn’t help but worry this was about her and Sam, but that didn’t make any sense. She and Sam haven’t been acting any differently. Since that night they had spent more time together, but most of it has been strictly platonic. Kara and Lena had nothing on them.

“You really need to work on being subtle,” Lena chuckled and rested her hand on Kara’s forearm. Alex turned her attention to Lena. The CEO would get to the point. “We’re worried about Sam,” Lena’s words genuinely confused Alex. Sam was having a rough time directly after Reign, but she seemed to be out of that funk. Of course, she would occasionally have a bad day. Everyone did.

“Uh yeah, she’s good. Like as far as I know,” Alex said slowly.

“We just ask because last time she came to you when something was wrong. Then she asked you to keep it a secret and we didn’t know until things were bad,” Lena explained further. “And she’s been acting weird again.”

“Weird how?” Alex tried to think of anything Sam has done that would be concerning. Nothing came to mind.

“She’s left work before six four times in the past three weeks.” _She came home early to make dinner and watch Ruby and I practice in the backyard._ “She missed game night last Friday.” _Bad day. She’s allowed to have those._ “She took a lunch break yesterday and actually left the building.” _She came to check on me. To make sure I was actually resting._ Alex couldn’t voice her thoughts. It would raise all kinds of red flags.

“None of those are bad things,” Lena continued. “They are just things Sam has never really done. Making it worrying.” Lena fell silent. She obviously wanted Alex’s opinion.

“I think since the Reign thing she has been trying to spend more time with Ruby,” Alex said carefully. “Her life flashed before her eyes. I think some changes to her lifestyle is very normal.”

“Then why did you rush off that night?” Kara’s eyes crinkled showing confusion. “When you thought Ruby was sick. Then found out she wasn’t- you left anyways.”

Alex had to think fast. Luckily, she was trained for this. She was good under pressure and had the ability to keep people believing her bullshit. “I’ve just gotten used to Ruby. Spending time with her and stuff,” Alex gave a sideways shrug. “When I heard she was sick I panicked. By the time you called, I was worked up. Wasn’t in the gaming mood.” The other two women seemed to buy her excuse. They didn’t question her further, they just took in the information and nodded their heads in understanding.

“Will you tell us if we need to worry?” Kara asked.

“Yeah, I can do that,” Alex promised. It was nice to know Sam had people who cared. Even if it was slightly invasive. “I have to go to work though,” she said as she started to stand up.

“Work?! Alex! J’onn gave you the whole week off!” Kara exclaimed.

“I’ve been off since Monday, three days is enough. I’m just going to do paperwork anyways,” Alex wasn’t going to budge on the matter. She lived and breathed the DEO. It was already driving her crazy that she hadn’t been there for three and a half days. Granted, all of Monday and Tuesday, then most of yesterday were spent sleeping. She still had trouble dressing on her own, laughing hurt, and she was sore as hell; but that wasn’t going to hold Alex Danvers down.

* * *

“I told you that you don’t have to knock,” Alex is met with a light scold and warm smile from Sam.

“I told you it’s weird just walking in,” Alex retorted while stepping inside. Except it wasn’t weird. Which was the weird part. Alex felt familiar enough to let herself into the Arias household. It has only been a little over three weeks and she already felt a level attachment to the little family. She just fit so perfectly. Which freaked her out, so she knocked.

“She already has pregame jitters. Seeing you should help,” Sam chuckled leading Alex further into the house. “I can’t believe this is the first game we’re going to see together.”

Alex spotted Ruby through the glass doors leading outside. She was doing her own warm up it seemed. She looked so focused. Alex was beyond proud of Ruby. Their team had yet to win, but Alex could feel them getting closer.

“Yeah, hard to believe our schedules finally matched up. It only took three weeks,” Alex’s words were distracted as she watched Ruby. Sam moved closer to the redhead until she was standing beside her. Sam’s shoulder brushed against Alex’s side. Alex turned slightly and gave Sam a soft smile. “I’ll bring her in. Don’t want her to tire out before the game,” Alex pulled open the door and walked into the backyard.

* * *

Sam watched fondly as Alex jogged up behind her daughter and playfully stole the ball. The way Alex favored her right leg and the crotchety way she jogged reminded Sam she was still injured. Alex always puts on a brave face, but some things she just couldn’t hide. Sam knew Ruby could tell too. Her smart little girl would be tackling Alex right about now if she wasn’t hurt. Instead Ruby raced to the goal to block Alex’s shot. Sam couldn’t make out what Alex said, but both her girls threw their heads back in laughter. _Her. Shit._ Sam has been struggling with possessive pronouns for the last couple weeks. Alex seamlessly integrated into their lives. Even before they started sleeping together. She stepped up to the plate without being asked. Took Ruby under her wing when they needed her most. They had an awkward phase in between. Alex wasn’t sure where she fit in since Sam came home. In all honesty, Sam was feeling the same way. Alex and Ruby had a routine that didn’t include her. It was a rocky start but they soon found a rhythm. Alex started becoming her friend as well as Ruby’s playmate. Adding the sexual element didn’t seem to rock the boat. There wasn’t any extra pressure. Though Sam could feel the changes. How her thoughts drifted more and more to the beautiful redhead. Sam needed to snap out of it and be grateful for Alex’s friendship.

The French doors swung open, Ruby and Alex walked in with smiles on their faces. Sam almost melted at how happy they looked. Light danced in their eyes, mirth, and love reflecting on their features.

“Ready to go?” Alex quirked an eyebrow eyeing Sam. The brunette shook herself out of the sappy thoughts and bobbed her head in confirmation.

* * *

They took Sam’s car to the game; leaving Alex’s motorcycle at the house. _‘I’ll get you on it one of these days!’_ Alex was adamant. Sam wasn’t so sure. She went through her wild days. She was perfectly content with taking the minimum amount of risks.

Ruby plugged in her phone to the AUX and Sam was subjected to hearing Alex and Ruby have a sing-off. They were both pretty good and Sam refused to be the judge. She also refused to sing along. She wasn’t the best singer. When Ruby was little she would sing to her. Back when Ruby thought everything she did was the best in the world.

By the time they got to the field, both Alex and Ruby were excited balls of energy. Sam had to elongate her strides to keep up with the pair. She followed them to the benches. Sam liked putting off sitting by the soccer moms as long as she could. The kids crowded around Alex obviously ecstatic to have her back. Sam stood a couple paces behind Alex as she got bombarded with questions. Sam didn’t notice the other woman approaching. Her eyes were all for Alex. She shifted her attention as Pamela Littleton slid up beside Alex.

“I thought Sydney was exaggerating.” Genuine concern seeped into Pamela’s tone. She raised her hand and brushed the bruise on Alex’s face. Sam was seeing red. _Why is some other woman touching Alex?! Why is Alex letting her?!_

“Pfft, no, this is nothing,” Alex looked down bashfully as she received attention. She hated being on the end of Pamela’s concern.

“Your mom's girlfriend is such a badass,” Pamela’s younger son piped up and spoke to Ruby.

“Language,” all three adults said simultaneously. Ruby happily noted nobody corrected the girlfriend comment. Until Pamela freaking Littleton opened her big mouth.

“Girlfriend?” Pamela cocked her head to the side curiously. She didn’t seem jealous or upset at the revelation, merely inquisitive.

Heat spread through Alex’s body. Luckily she was able to keep a collected exterior. “Out of the mouths of babes, am I right?” Alex smoothly covered. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she watched Sam over Pamela’s shoulder. Sam’s lips formed a tight line and her fingers were gripping her elbows hard enough to leave bruises. _Did I not cover well enough? Is she worried Ruby knows?_ Alex was floored. She moved to brush past Pamela to check on Sam when Melrose whistled.

“Game time, good luck coach,” Pamela leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Alex’s cheek. Her brown eyes doubled in size and her mouth fell open in surprise. Pamela has never done that before. _What the hell?!_ She watched Pamela saunter away. Her gaze would’ve followed her to the bleachers until her attention swiftly switched to Sam when Pamela passed the brunette.

* * *

By the time Alex’s attention was on her, Sam had herself composed. The look Alex gave her softened the blow slightly. One of being utterly lost and confused. Sam couldn’t bring herself to do much more than give a weak smile and walk to the bleachers.

She scanned them for an open spot. Her eyes stopped and rested on Pamela. The woman’s head was head held high and a smirk firmly on her lips. Sam refused to give her what she wanted. She looked on with disinterest.

Sam sat down on the opposite side of the bleachers as Pamela. She didn’t have the best view of the game but she could still see what was going on. The first half was a blur. Sam couldn’t help but dissect what exactly bothered her about the whole exchange. She had no real claim over Alex. What was the problem? She didn’t realize Pamela’s intentions at first, or if she did she denied it. Some people were just touchy. As soon as it was made clear, Sam wanted to punch her. Hard. Which shook the brunette. She had never been violent. She had never even really been jealous or possessive before. It was probably because Alex was undefined. She could sleep with whoever she wanted. Which made Sam feel sick; even if it shouldn’t.

Luckily Ruby wasn’t in the game much first half. She was rotated in once. It seemed she would be playing more the second half. Sam tried to ignore the worried looks Alex kept throwing across the field. She felt bad for distracting the woman. The kids could tell Alex’s head wasn’t in the game.

As soon as the halftime whistle blew, Alex made her way determinedly across the field. Sam watched in satisfaction as she ignored the other parents and came directly to her side. Alex’s eyes searched Sam’s worriedly.

Alex sucked in a breath, “help me get the extra water from the car?” Sam knew it was an excuse to be alone. She took the bait and nodded her head. Sam walked behind Alex to the car. She unlocked it and popped the trunk. As soon as they were out of view from the field Alex turned. She wrung her hands together and glanced everywhere but Sam. The leggy woman leaned her hip against the car and waited the agent out.

Finally, Alex seemed to gather herself, “I’m not comforting anyone else- or fucking, or like any other naked activities. Even not naked activities, like romantic pursuits. Not that we are romantic pursuits because friends, hah... but like Pamela came out of nowhere. I didn’t even know she had been flirting. I think my gaydar is broken. First you, then her and you just looked so... I’m not sure. How are you feeling exactly? Because-“ Alex stopped talking when Sam held up a hand. She couldn’t let the redhead suffer any longer.

“I see where Kara gets it from,” Sam commented lightly on the word vomit Alex just spewed. Alex’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I feel- fine,” Sam spoke slowly. In Alex’s mass of scrambled thoughts, she mentioned the word friend. Again. Sam had to remember this was just a friend thing. She had to push down the hurt of being just friends. “I realized that we never discussed seeing others. While I’m not, I didn’t think about the possibility of you seeing others. It just caught me off guard.”

“There are no others,” Alex was quick to repeat. “I can hardly keep up with you.”

Sam’s smile turned feral and she backed Alex into the trunk. “Hm.. good. I don’t particularly like sharing. Even if it is casual. When you decide to see other people just let me know.” Sam forced herself not to wince and pressed a quick kiss to Alex’s lips. She then reached around her for the extra flat of water and hoisted it into her arms. She smirked as Alex’s eyes hungrily trailed up her arms to admire her biceps.

Sam put the water bottles down near the team bench. She winked at Alex and relished in the effect she had on the other woman. The dopey smile was still intact as she sat back down. Pamela eyed Sam curiously, which Sam ignored.

Sam was correct on her assumption that Ruby would get more play time in the second half. Her team had actually managed to score two points. It was better than they’ve done previously. This particular team was more evenly matched with Ruby’s team.

It was fifteen minutes in when things get interesting. Alex called a timeout; which was rare in itself. They talked in hushed tones. Sam watched Ruby bob her head vigorously before they cheered and retook their places. The other team looked between the players nervously. What did Alex have up her sleeve?

The play started normally. The other team got the ball first. They seemed to be in control until Ainsley Reynolds shot out and stole it. She made a faux pass to Renee Beckett. The ball rolled past Renee and landed with Amelia. Renee ran towards the other team's goal as if she still had the ball. Amelia ran away from the goal. The other team was thrown for a loop. Sam watched in fascination as the goalie geared up to block Renee’s nonexistent goal. Amelia kicked the ball to Ruby who efficiently shot the ball into the net.

Then everything seemed to slow down. Ruby scored a goal. Her first goal. Sam’s body filled with tingles as her daughter turned to face the team. Her hands flew up and her jaw dropped in awe. Ruby’s teammates cheered excitedly, but Ruby switched her focus. Sam followed Ruby’s gaze to the woman standing on the sidelines. Her face was lit up brighter than Sam has ever seen it. Ruby took off at a dead run and leaped into Alex’s arms. The redhead stumbled back; probably not able to brace herself on her bad ankle, and landed heavily on the bench with Ruby on top of her. Sam could see the tight hold Alex had on Ruby as she congratulated her enthusiastically.

Sam tore her eyes away from the scene as another drop of water hit her hand. Was it raining? She glanced up at the clear blue sky and realized she was crying. Sam swiped furiously at her cheeks. Her eyes found Alex’s over Ruby’s shoulder. She has never been able to share a moment like this with anyone. Shit. I’m in deep. Sam sucked in a breath and tried to snuff out the thought. It’s been three weeks. Well... it was a little more complex than that, but it hasn’t been long enough to feel this. Right?

The girls lined back up to finish out the game. Sam was left alone with her thoughts. She tried to stay focused on the game, but she kept straying back to the redhead on the sidelines looking at her daughter like she was her whole world. She couldn’t help the warmth that filled her stomach. She tried to tell herself it was projection. After doing this alone for so long she was grateful for the reprieve of bearing everything herself. She finally felt that someone else was just as invested. Sam would continue to deny herself. She had to. Alex was her friend. Just friends. Just like she said.

Ruby’s team didn’t end up winning the game, but seeing as they lost only a point behind; they were happy. Ruby bounded over to her and gave her a big, sweaty hug.

“Did you see? Did you see? That was so cool! Alex and I have been practicing that one. I didn’t think I was ready but she said I could and I did,” Ruby was obviously still running on adrenaline. “We’re getting pizza. The team. Is that okay? I want to ride with Amelia. That okay? You can get Alex and bring her too right? The team loves her, all the parents are coming. She is cleaning up, equipment shed I think,” Ruby’s smile was so big Sam was almost blinded.

“Go ahead sweetheart, I’ll go grab Alex,” Sam barely had the words out before Ruby was racing away to rejoin her friends. Sam picked up her purse and headed to the equipment shed. She heard a loud thump followed by Alex cursing under her breath. Sam stood silently in the doorway of the shed as Alex crouched to pick up the cones she knocked over.

“You don’t have to rush, it will probably be faster in the long run,” mirth filled Sam’s tone. Alex jumped and dropped the cones again.

“Fuck, you scared me,” Alex bent back down to pick up the cones again. Sam shamelessly checked out her ass. Alex stood back up and put the cones on the shelf above her. She faced Sam again and crossed her arms over her chest. Sam blinked and took in Alex’s posture. She looked nervous. Even more so than before. Sam cocked her head to the side. She thought they worked everything out.

“Wanna clue me in on what’s going on up here?” Sam tapped the side of her head and moved further into the shed.

“Well,” Alex worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “I can stop coaching Ruby’s soccer team.” Her words made Sam stop dead in her tracks. That was not something she expected. Probably the furthest thing from it actually. “I saw you crying,” Alex said softly. “I didn’t mean to take that moment away from you.” Sam slowly caught up to what Alex was saying. Sam got across the shed in two strides. Her hands cupped Alex’s face gently and she tipped her chin until Alex was looking at her.

“For a brilliant scientist sometimes you’re extremely stupid,” Sam murmured fondly. “Didn’t you notice my smile? They were happy tears Alex,” Sam explained soothingly. “I never- Ruby has never had that before. Someone besides me cheering her on. Someone who was there to see her succeed. You gave my daughter something I never could. I’m her mom. In her world, I have to be there. You chose her.”

Alex’s eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise. Sam slid her hands down and looped them loosely around her waist. She dipped her head down and pressed a gentle kiss to Alex’s lips. She didn’t have to wait long before Alex was responding to her leisurely pace. Within minutes it heated up. Sam pressed more insistently to Alex and parted the agent’s lips with her tongue. Alex let out a content hum and slid her hands around Sam’s hips.

A loud crash broke the women apart. “Shit sorry! I was going to sneak out when I realized you guys were occupied,” Pamela’s sheepish gaze met the startled women. Sam subconsciously tightened her hold on Alex possessively. “I was actually going to see if you, Alex, were coming to get pizza with the team-“ Pamela trailed off and shifted her weight a little awkwardly. Sam was still frozen on spot. Alex gently nudged Sam’s hands from her waist and stepped in front of her.

“Yeah, we’ll be by for pizza,” she answered ten times calmer than Sam felt. “And I think it’s safe to say we don’t want Ruby to know about this,” Alex rubbed the back of her neck and tipped her head towards Sam in an indication of what ‘this’ was.

“Of course, I mean I had the feeling that you guys weren’t just friends- Sam has never had anyone else around,” Pamela seemed to calm down as she rambled slightly. Sam gave her props for how good she seemed to be taking this. “But I had to try. Ya know?” She shot Alex a more than friendly grin. At this point, Sam was confident that Pamela would back off. She didn’t know the woman well but she has never caused problems like the rest of them. “I’ll keep it to myself,” Pamela added as she backed out of the shed.

“We were bound to get caught eventually,” Alex voiced with a shrug. Sam was glad one of them was taking this gracefully. “Pizza time!”

Alex locked up the shed and followed Sam to the car.

* * *

The Pizza Palace parking lot was packed. Surprisingly busy for a Sunday night. Alex and Sam squeezed through the crowd and found the rambunctious soccer team. The girls were all talking over each other about the best plays. Ruby blushed a perfect shade of pink every time someone mentioned her goal. She was definitely being modest about it, but both Alex and Sam could see the excitement on her face. Both women were so very proud of her.

Alex and Sam sat down in a booth across from the team. Their legs were pressed together under the table and Alex’s hand fell on Sam’s thigh. Alex could feel the woman shiver under her touch. The other parents didn’t seem to notice the silent conversation the women were having. Robert Glass pulled Alex into an enthusiastic conversation about the play she made. How she knew when to use it. How she taught it to the girls. How it was executed. Sam leaned back and watched Alex in her element. _Who knew Alex Danvers would be such a PTA Mom?_ Sam internally groaned. She did not just refer to Alex as a mom. Except she did. When did she turn into a lesbian u-haul ad? Sam was reminded for the third time today that she was monumentally screwed.

Alex seemed to inhale her pizza. Sam had to wonder if it was second nature for her to eat so fast now. When Kara was around it was every man for himself.

“Hey, Mom?” Ruby appeared next to the parent table. Sam was relieved to see she was marginally calmer. “Can I sleep at Amelia’s tonight?”

Sam was going to say yes anyway, but the way Alex’s hand slowly slid against her thigh urged her answer faster. Ruby gave her mom another hug and walked back to tell Amelia the good news.

“Hmm... poor Sam has the house all to herself, I wonder what she’ll do tonight,” Alex hummed playfully in her ear.

“I think the question you should be asking is who she’ll be doing tonight,” Sam quipped. She stood up and threw a couple bills on the table. She assumed it would cover her, Alex, and Ruby’s costs. Sam turned around and let her hips naturally swing as she walked to the door. She could feel Alex’s eyes burning a hole into her backside.

* * *

They barely made it inside before Alex was pressed against the nearest wall. She let out a groan halfway between pleasure and pain. She wasn’t fully healed yet. Not that she really cared. Shoes were shucked off, coats shed, and keys were thrown hazardously on the ground. “Couch,” Alex panted out between kisses. Sam effortlessly lifted Alex from the wall and brought her to the couch. She fell into Alex’s lap, their lips not breaking apart as they shifted to get comfortable. It dawned on Alex that Sam would see her body in mid-healing process. Purple and blue wasn’t a good look. Maggie usually had her own collection of work related injuries so it evened out.It was dark enough that Sam shouldn’t notice, or Alex hoped anyway. She really wanted this. Sam’s hands hooked around Alex’s waist and slid them down just enough to get her hand in the front of her panties. Alex was already a whining mess. “Sam please,” Alex bucked her hips desperately. Sam ground her own hips down to give the redhead some friction.

Alex was quick to come. Her head thrown back giving Sam access to her long, pale neck. The other woman gently stroked Alex through her first orgasm of the night. Alex stilled under Sam as she got her bearings back.

“I think your clothes should come off next,” Alex said already going to work on the first button on Sam’s blouse.

“Mm... I think that’s my decision,” Sam swiftly pinned Alex’s wrists to the back of the couch. Alex’s eyes darkened as Sam took even more control. Sam leaned forward torturously slow and pressed a lazy kiss to Alex’s lips.

Alex suddenly froze beneath Sam. Sam pulled back and looked down at her in confusion. Panic was written across Alex’s face.

“Turn on the tv,” Alex reached behind her and scrambled for the blanket behind them. Sam shifted back so she was perched on Alex’s knees. She didn’t understand- then the door opened. Suddenly everything was clear. Sam grabbed the remote and pressed the power button. Alex tugged Sam to her side and threw the blanket over their lap. Leave it to Alex to pay enough attention to know her daughter was home.

“Mom? Alex?” Ruby set her soccer gear down with a thunk.

“In the living room,” Sam answered.

Ruby walked through the dark house and flicked on the hallway light. She looked at them through narrowed eyes. “Amelia got sick. Puked all over the car. I’m going to go shower. Then we can watch movies?”

“Of course sweetheart.”

“And Alex?” Ruby called for the agent's attention. “You better be wearing pants. I want lots of cuddles,” Ruby ribbed playfully. Alex stuck her leg out from under the blanket in confirmation. As soon as she disappeared up the stairs Alex groaned.

“Unfortunately yes, I am wearing pants.”

Sam snorted at Alex’s words and stood up. “I’m going to wash my hands and change into pjs. Do you want to borrow a pair?” When Alex nodded yes Sam disappeared upstairs. She came back down in the cutest button-up flannel Alex had ever seen.

“I assumed you were more of a t-shirt and sweatpants type,” Sam tossed the clothes at Alex. The redhead caught the clothes and shamelessly stripped. Just because they couldn’t do anything tonight didn’t mean she couldn’t have any fun. Sam’s eyes drank in the sight of Alex putting on her clothes.

“They’re not too long!” Alex looked down in surprise.

“Those are technically capris on me,” Sam admitted.

“Of course they are.”

“Don’t pout,” Sam crawled back onto the couch and settled a friendly distance from Alex. Alex’s lips curled into an even bigger pout.

Ruby’s stomping footsteps turned both women’s attention to the twelve-year-old. She immediately went to the stack of movies to pick something out.

“I hear Alex loves Twilight,” Sam watched Alex in amusement as her jaw dropped.

“Really? That’s great!” Ruby pulled out the first movie and popped it in.

 _‘I’m going to get you?!’_ Alex mouthed to Sam.

 _‘What? Can’t hear you,’_ Sam mouthed back and pointed at her ears. Alex rolled her eyes and settled on the couch.

“You guys didn’t have to move,” Ruby frowned as she plopped down between the women. “It might even be easier to cuddle if you two... I don’t know, spoon-“

“Ruby,” Sam raised an eyebrow in warning.

“What? Friends do that. Right?” Ruby asked innocently.

“Again, I think we need to re-evaluate what you’re doing with your friends,” Sam nudged her daughter. Before Ruby could make another comment, Sam spoke again, “Hush now and watch the movie.”

Ruby complied and fell silent. It didn’t take long before Ruby shifted until her head was resting in Alex’s lap. The redhead ran her fingers idley though Ruby’s long tresses. Her feet were soon stretched out over Sam’s lap. Sam knew it wouldn’t take long for her tired adolescent to crash.

“She’s right. This would’ve been way more comfortable if we were spooning,” Alex said shooting Sam a cheeky grin as soon as she knew Ruby was truly sleeping.

“Help me get her to bed?”

“Do I get to tuck you in too?” Alex knew there wouldn’t be anything happening with Ruby in the house. She liked teasing anyways.

“We’ll see,” Sam winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to chat on Tumblr @2manyships2name


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday everyone! I hope you guys had a good week. I'm back with another update, hooray! 
> 
> I have been loving the feedback. I'm glad people are liking the story. I hope you continue liking it and don't hate me... 
> 
> Another big thanks to @koalatygirl for being an epic friend and beta reader!

Alex leaned back in her chair as she glanced at the clock for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. She was watching the minutes slowly tick by.

 

“Got a hot date?” Winn startled Alex out of her daze. Her feet slid off the desk and landed heavily on the ground.

 

“No,” Alex shot him a signature scowl. Winn would always be borderline afraid of her, but it was definitely reducing with exposure.

 

“The way you’re staring at that clock says otherwise,” Winn sat down at his desk and got back to work.

 

Alex sighed. She wished Winn was right. It was Wednesday. Meaning she was returning home to an empty apartment. She would have to once again resist the urge to drive over to the Arias household. She was already there every Tuesday, Thursday, and most Saturdays. Soccer ended mid-November. Alex kept showing up. Getting off work early and picking Ruby up from school. Alex helped Ruby with her homework, then they started on dinner. Well, they tried to start on dinner. Usually, Alex ends up burning it and ordering takeout. The rare meal they complete is cherished by all three of them. On Thursdays, Sam got off early and made dinner. When the agent got off they all ate together. The Saturdays that Ruby spent with her friends gave Alex and Sam time to themselves. Which Alex really liked. She couldn’t think about alone time with Sam without flushing. Two days ago she pinned her in a L-Corp bathroom and took her there and then. Sam was insatiable. Though Alex had to admit she liked the cozy Saturday nights spent curled on the couch with the little family.

 

Just over a week ago Alex realized Christmas was fast approaching. She only had a couple weeks to get something for Sam and Ruby. Alex was horrible at giving gifts. She was so practical about life. She’s always seemed to fall short in that department. Ruby was easier than Sam. She saw video games, soccer gear, and trinkets that reminded her of the girl daily. Sam was really stumping her though. What does one get their sex friend? Alex hated referring her as that, but she had to call her something. Sex friend was better than fuck buddy, friends with benefit- or any other degrading term that summed up what they were doing. All those terms didn’t seem personal enough. The sex was great. Alex looked forward to it. Sam just had to give her that look and her panties were ruined. Except it was all the other things too. The way Ruby smiled at her from across the dinner table, seeing Sam squeal as she lost at Wii bowling; it was the family dynamic that really warmed Alex up. Sex friend definitely didn’t cover it.

 

Alex’s cell lit up with an unknown number. She always advised Kara - and now Ruby - to ignore them. If it was important, the caller would leave a message. Alex on the other hand always made a point to pick up. She was an agent. She wouldn’t fall for a scam, she could scare off telemarketers- what if someone needed help?

 

“Agent Danvers,” she answered neutrally.

 

_“Hello Agent, this is Principle Kohen calling from Davis Middle School,”_ Alex easily registered Ruby’s school. Before panic could set in the woman expanded on why she was calling. _“We normally don’t call significant others pre-marriage, but Ruby told me about the engagement and how Ms.Arias is out of the states on work,”_ the Principle prattled on.

 

Alex didn’t stop to question the false information; she honestly didn't process it. She was focused on one thing, “is Ruby okay?”

 

_“Ruby seems fine. I’m calling because the student she was in an altercation with isn’t fine. Neither girl is being too forthcoming with providing a picture of what happened. Therefore I have to think about expulsion for Ruby as there is no evidence of foul play from Willa.”_

 

“Willa Littleton?” Alex asked immediately recognizing the soccer player being Pamela’s daughter. The redhead knew Ruby and Willa weren’t close, but why would Ruby hit her? Willa mainly kept to herself at practice. “Let me come in and talk to them. Help sort through it. Before any punishment is made. Please?”

 

The principal agreed and Alex promptly stood from her desk. “I’m taking a sick day,” Alex knew Winn would get the information to J’onn. Alex was in such a rush that she didn’t see the bewildered look on Winn’s face. She hadn’t taken a sick day by choice in... like, ever. Literally not one. When she was injured J’onn had to ban her from the building. Deactivate her ID and make sure security knew not to let her through.

 

* * *

 

 Alex took one of the DEO SUV’s to Ruby’s school. She didn’t want to bring the motorcycle in case she had to bring Ruby home. Which would be likely. Davis had a strict no violence policy. Unless she got Willa talking and willing to take partial blame,Ruby would have to take the brunt of the punishment.

 

Alex parked in the visitor row and checked in at the office. They seemed to be expecting her. She was led into the administrative wing. Her eyes landed on Ruby immediately checking her for damage. Besides a deep scowl and slumped shoulders she seemed fine. She wouldn’t look at Alex though.

 

“Coach Danvers, welcome. We’ve been sitting in relative silence for twenty minutes. Besides Ruby’s information on your upcoming nuptials,” The principal sighed.  

 

“I told you that she is delusional; they aren’t getting married,” Willa snapped. Ruby’s fist clenched at her side. Alex stepped between the girls and rested a hand on each of their shoulders.

 

“I’m thinking we should take a walk,” Alex beckoned the girls up. Ruby finally glanced at Alex. Alex could tell she was looking for signs of anger. Alex didn’t let her know what she was thinking. “You too Willa, up,” Alex tapped the other girl's shoulder. Willa let out a sigh and stood up. Alex walked through the hallways like she knew exactly where she was going. Which she kinda did. She was looking for the conference room she passed earlier. She wanted them in a place she could establish safety and trust. Just two girls working out their problems with their coach.

 

“So, Rubes; are we lying as well as punching now?” Alex said when they reached the conference room. Ruby gave a shrug and averted her eyes.

 

“Hah! I knew you were lying!” Willa jabbed a finger in Ruby’s direction.

 

“I did that to get Kohen to call her. To prove my point. Which has been effectively proven,” Ruby’s words seemed to have their desired effect. Willa’s face soured and her eyes fell.

 

Alex ignored their squabble and continued probing, “Willa, did we give Ruby a reason to throw the punch?” Alex tried with the other girl.

 

“Doesn’t matter. You’re just going to take her side anyway,” Willa crossed her arms defensively. Alex tipped her head to the side. She was starting to get the picture. Just a little bit.

 

“Ruby, why don’t you go talk to Kohen about your side of the story. I’ll stay here and figure things out with Willa,” Alex watched both girls carefully. Surprise filled both of their faces. Then Ruby’s gaze turned angry. Alex felt bad. Ruby probably thought she was abandoning her. Which she wasn’t, but Willa was right. Alex was unfairly biased with Ruby. Kohen could listen with a clear head. They could compare the girls' stories afterward. Decide on punishments later. Ruby nearly knocked her chair over with how hard she threw it back. Alex watched worriedly as Ruby stalked out of the room.

 

“Willa, I can only help if you talk to me,” Alex knew she gained some trust when she sent Ruby away. Willa had been acting like a cornered animal. Alex just had to feed her a bit and hope she warmed up enough to talk.

 

“Biology started how it’s started every Wednesday since soccer ended. Ruby’s stupid gaggle of friends crowding around her desk to ask what Coach Alex burnt for dinner last night. Did she set the curtains on fire yet? Has she taught you any new soccer moves? Are she and your mom a thing? Blah, blah, blah,” Alex could see the fire in Willa’s gaze. She was almost one hundred percent sure that this had nothing to do with her and Sam. She sat back and let Willa let everything out.

 

“I was just fed up with it. She already had all these friends. Why would she need to lie about your relationship with her mom? She doesn’t need something so trivial to make friends. And let’s say she isn’t lying. And you do trail after the Arias family like a puppy; which seemingly, you do. Kohen calls and here you are- so I just brought to her attention that it wasn’t fair. That she should stop flaunting things that aren’t there. It’s not fair. Ruby Arias has the world at her fingertips. Not everyone has a cool FBI soccer coach that is friends with their mom. They are hogging you. What if you could have something really great with someone else?” Willa’s voice was full of desperation tears were threatening to fall. “She cries, at night. She muffles it with a pillow. And she tries so hard to pretend everything is okay. That my dad didn't take off with Sofia’s older sister effectively ending my only friendship and tearing my mother's life apart. And the whole soccer team hates me because my mom is interfering with Coach Arias or whatever damn name they are calling you this week- why doesn’t my mom deserve to be happy too? Why does Ruby get you? Like she gets everything?” Sobs wracked Willa’s body. Alex didn’t think twice before pulling Willa into a hug. She ran her fingers through her hair and rubbed soothing circles on her back.

 

“You know- Ruby doesn’t have it very easy either. You guys actually seem to have a lot in common. Both living with single moms, both working through some hard things, both have a really cool soccer coach,” Alex was rewarded with a small laugh. “I bet if you tried to be Ruby’s friend it wouldn’t be too hard. Sometimes people don’t get along because they are extremely similar. If you can get past the need to be competitive and sit down you’ll see how great the other is. I can’t talk about what Ruby’s been through; just like I won’t tell her what you told me today. I can only encourage you to try and work it out.”

 

“You’re a really good kid from what I can see, and I don’t even know you that well. You’re pretty quiet at practice. One thing I do know is that you shouldn’t worry about your mom. She is a beautiful and kind woman. She will find someone brilliant. Love comes in the most unexpected places. When I told her I wasn’t interested she took it with such grace. Sure we could’ve worked, but there wasn’t that immediate spark. You’ll understand when you’re older. Being your mother's friend is enough for both of us,” Alex said softly. “I’m just not available for a relationship.”

 

“Because you’re in love with Ms.Arias,” Willa shifted back so she could see Alex.

 

“What? No,” Alex sputtered. “I just broke up with my girlfriend... well like a while ago; but heartbroken and stuff...”

 

“I think you need to get better at that denial,” Alex spun around as Pamela’s throaty voice sounded behind her. “Just saying that it wasn’t very convincing. I’d also like to point out that a twelve-year-old figured it out.”

 

“There’s just a ... spark,” Willa shrugged. Her face was still blotchy and red from crying. “I should go talk to Mrs. Kohen. Make sure Ruby doesn’t get expelled.”

 

“So we’re friends now?” Pamela raised an eyebrow.

 

“I’d like to think so,” Alex shrugged. “You’re cool, I’m cool- why not?” Alex was relieved to get the topic of for her and Sam. Who she didn’t love. That was ludicrous.

 

“Thank you for talking to Willa. I knew she was taking things hard, but she wouldn’t talk to me. She clammed up. Seriously Alex, I really appreciate what you did today,” Pamela bit her lip and looked at the floor. “For what it’s worth, you’re right- the spark; the one that you have with Sam, it’s not there. We both deserve better. Hold onto her.”

 

Alex’s jaw dropped as Pamela turned and exited the conference room. _Hold onto her? What does that even mean?! I don’t even have a fricken claim on her! Even if I kinda want one..._ Alex groaned at the thought. _You’re only thinking that way because they put the thought in your head._ Alex repeated over and over in her mind. She then realized she would be needed in the next room over. Ruby was her responsibility right now.

 

When Alex reentered the principal's office Ruby still seemed angry. Alex knew it wasn’t at Willa though. She was still stewing over being sent away. Alex put her hands on Ruby’s shoulder and was immediately shrugged off. Pamela gave her a sympathetic smile. Teenagers.

 

“We are just wrapping up. Seeing as Willa has admitted to being an instigator we are able to reduce Ruby’s sentence to a three day suspension,” Principle Kohen spoke to Alex. The redhead nodded her head. Fair was fair.

 

“Grab your stuff, I’m taking you home,” Alex instructed the broody teen. Ruby huffed but did as she was told.

 

“Have you decided on a date yet?” Principle Kohen asked. Alex frowned and tilted her head in confusion. “For the wedding?”

 

Pamela let out a snort and covered her mouth. Willa’s lips curled into an amused smile. Ruby watched Alex suspiciously.

 

“Spring,” Alex answered just so Ruby knew she was still on her side.

 

* * *

 

The drive to the Arias house was expectedly quiet. Ruby stared out the window and Alex let her have some time to think. She didn’t want to push Ruby to hard. She was already wearing her guilt on her sleeve. Alex had to say something though. She was the one who taught Ruby how to punch.

 

“You could’ve broken her jaw,” Alex broke the silence and said the statement rather casually.

 

“What?” Ruby was expecting to be yelled at, or the equivalent of yelled at.

 

“I taught you how to punch. How to hold your fist, how to stand; I taught you how to defend yourself. If you were in a situation where you needed to keep yourself safe. I guess I should’ve gone over the proper time and place to actually punch someone,” Alex let out a dry chuckle. “I’m still getting used to this par- role model thing,” Alex winced at her slip up. “You only resort to violence when it is absolutely the last choice. It’s you or them. You never, ever do it out of anger. Your punches need to be controlled and aimed. What you did today wasn’t okay Ruby. She made you mad; you brought it to another level. You hurt someone who was already hurting,” Alex wasn’t angry. She was disappointed. Ruby could feel it. Her eyes lowered and she nodded her head.

 

“I shouldn’t have punched her,” Ruby’s bottom lip trembled. “She was really mean. She hurt my feelings. Said that we didn’t deserve to be happy. Me and Mom. It wasn’t right. I lost my head and just... well popped her in the face. The second I did it I regretted it. I couldn’t take it back though. All I can do is apologize and hope she forgives me.”

 

“You could also befriend her,” Alex points out.

 

“Why would she want to be friends with me? She hates me. She made that much clear. And I punched her.”

 

“People do a lot of crazy things when they are lonely. Maybe she thought the only way to get your attention was to needle you. You’re kinda intimidating Rubes. You have so many good things going for you,” Alex let her words sink it. Ruby was mentally going through everything she knew about Willa Littleton. Why the shy girl was suddenly targeting her. Ruby groaned and dropped her head in her hands.

 

“I think you’re right,” her words were muffled by her hands.

 

“I usually am,” Alex grinned cheekily.

 

“So... how mad do you think Mom will be?” Ruby lifted her head.

 

“I think she will blow up and say some pretty harsh things. She’ll get a good night sleep and give you a fair punishment in the morning,” Alex said truthfully. Ruby nodded in agreement. That sounded like her mom. “Ruby, why did you call me?” Alex had to know. Ruby honestly didn’t seem to be playing them against each other. As kids did to their.. damn it... she had to stop thinking parents, as in plural.

 

“Well- I thought you would be able to keep a clear head. I didn’t want to interrupt her day for something so stupid. I didn’t want her to blame herself when she realized why Willa and I fought. I also thought you could help soften the blow. Maybe?” Ruby looked up at Alex with wide and hopeful eyes.

 

“I’m not going to call her away from work. I’ll start on dinner and explain it when she gets home. She’s in a meeting right now and I’d hate to distract her. You should probably stay in your room and do your homework. No tv, no computer, and I’ll be taking your phone now. Just until she gets home and decides what your real punishment is,” Alex pulled the SUV to ‘her’ side of the driveway and held out her hand for Ruby’s phone. Ruby gave her the device and followed Alex inside. Alex was proud of Ruby for taking the punishment. Every good agent took responsibility for their actions.

 

“One sec,” Alex grabbed Ruby’s wrist before she went upstairs. Alex pulled her into a hug and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I might be disappointed in you right now, but I love you, Ruby. Always.”

 

“I love you too Alex,” Ruby smiled softly before heading upstairs to start her homework.

 

* * *

 

Alex set Ruby’s phone on the kitchen counter, hung her jacket on the back of her chair, and checked the time. She had a solid three hours to kill before Sam got home. If she made it on time. On Wednesdays’ Ruby took the bus home. Alex wandered into the living room and plopped down on the couch. She tried not to think about how comfortable she was. The ability to fully relax in a space that wasn’t hers is a rare thing for the agent. Not to mention the ability to relax when Sam isn’t even home. Alex pulled out Sam’s laptop and logged herself into the DEO server. Might as well catch up on paperwork. Winn has been pushing a digital note system lately. Alex hated inputting the data, but it actually really came in handy.

 

Alex opened up Microsoft Word to start a briefing document. She would have to wipe the computer afterward. J’onn would be kicking her ass if he knew she was doing this on a civilians computer. Alex’s eyes stopped on a document labeled ‘bucket list’. It hasn’t been opened in over a year. Alex was too curious to let it pass. She double tapped and opened the document. Her eyes roved over the list curiously. Alex’s face broke out into a smile. She knew just what she was getting Sam and Ruby for Christmas. Alex completely forgot about the paperwork that needed to be done. She found the place she was looking for and typed in her credit card information. Done just in time for Christmas. Alex noted the time and quickly deleted her history. Sam would probably assume Ruby was on here and didn’t want her mom to know what she was up to. Alex tucked the computer away and headed to the kitchen. She was pleased to see Ruby put her laptop, tablet, and tv remote was in a pile with her phone.

 

Alex turned on the radio and rummaged through the refrigerator to scrounge something up for dinner. She decided on a simple stir fry dish. She has made it before and it was on her list of things she wouldn’t mess up. Alex hummed along to the radio and prepared the vegetables. She actually really liked cooking for Sam and Ruby. It made her proud. Like she was providing for them or something.

 

Alex just finished setting the table when the garage door sounded. Alex moved back to the kitchen to check the sauce. The door opened with a squeak; something she has been meaning to fix, Sam’s shoes were placed by the door, keys hung on the hook- Alex listened to the familiar routine fondly.

 

Alex continued cooking and let Sam come find her. The brunette wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and Alex leaned into her embrace.

 

“This is a nice surprise,” Sam nuzzled her nose into the crook of Alex’s neck. It’s moments like this that always got Alex. The domesticity of it all hitting her hard. “Where’s Ruby?” Sam glanced around in confusion. Her daughter was always three steps behind Alex. If Alex was cooking, so was Ruby.

 

“About that...” Alex set the sauce on simmer and turned to face Sam. “Ruby got into a fight today at school,” Alex has always gone for direct. She didn’t like dancing around subjects.

 

“A fight?” Sam’s eyes widened. “Is she okay?” Sam pulled back to go check on her daughter. Alex grabbed her wrist and held her in place.

 

“Ruby is fine. Willa, not so much. She will be sporting a rather vibrant shiner for at least a week,” Alex sighed.

 

Sam stilled and stared at Alex. The longer the silence dragged the heavier the tension got. Alex wasn’t sure what was happening. Something in Sam seemed to snap. Her eyes flashed with anger and she distanced herself from Alex.

 

“You’re saying that my daughter got into a fist fight,” Sam repeated slowly. “And they called you? And you brought her home like it was any other day. Didn’t think it was important to call me? Let me know that my daughter is going around punching people? Something that you taught her!” Sam’s voice was rising in volume. Alex held up her hands submissively.

 

“Sam- if you’d just let me...”

 

“Let you what? Explain? Whatever delusional shit was running through your head when you made all kinds of decisions for me and my family?” Sam was going off. Alex took a breath. She knew this was just Sam processing. It would all be okay. _She isn’t really mad at me._ Alex reassured herself. “You’re not her mother!” Sam spit coldly.

 

Alex’s world seemed to stop. How many times has Alex told herself that today? In the past week? In the past three months? It’s something Alex has been battling for a while now. Hearing Sam use it as a weapon was the last straw. Willa’s words echoed in her head, _you trail after them like a puppy._ Alex set her jaw. She was nobody’s damn puppy. She is Agent freaking Alex badass Danvers.

 

“You’re right. I’m not- so maybe if you didn’t want me teaching her how to punch, or picking her up from school, or integrating myself so damn deep into her life; you should’ve stopped me before I got invested,” Alex spat back. “This one is on you, Arias.” Alex spun around and snatched her keys off the counter. She shoved her feet into her shoes and slammed the door on the way out.

 

* * *

 

The drive home was a blur. Alex’s ears were ringing with Sam’s words. _You’re not her mother, you’re not her mother, you’re not her mother- damn it Sam! You don’t think I know that?!_ Alex couldn’t help the hurt she felt. Ruby wasn’t hers. It was always there in the back of her head. Reminding her of what she doesn’t have. Might never have. Everything was just going so well. Alex was fine with pretending. Especially since it brought her so much joy.

 

When it comes down to it- she crossed a line. She wasn’t sure where exactly she crossed the line, but it was definitely crossed. She wasn’t expecting Sam’s anger to target her. She got too comfortable. She let herself take too much. Now things might never be the same. She would constantly be in fear of rocking the boat.

 

As soon as Alex got inside she reached for a bottle of scotch. She nearly sobbed at the sight of it. The last time she had it out was the first night she spent with Sam. She unscrewed the cap and took a drink straight from the bottle. It burned on the way down. Alex chased away the pain with another gulp. She was drinking away the pain. How did one numb this though? Alex was grasping at straws. It felt like losing Maggie all over again. Maybe even worse. She was losing her family. Alex let out a broken sob and sunk to the floor. She clutched the bottle to her chest and continued letting out strangled cries.

 

Alex was halfway through the bottle when the door opened. She blinked her bloodshot eyes hazily. Kara came swimming into view.

 

“Kar- whatya doin here?” Alex took another drink of the bottle simply because that’s what she has been doing for the past three hours.

 

“Alex?” Kara stood over her sister in shock. The usually put together agent was sprawled on the floor. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were puffy. “You texted me, don’t you remember? I got worried when you didn’t respond,” Kara held up her phone. Alex did not, in fact, remember texting her. “Alex, what happened?” Kara sunk to her knees.

 

“Don’t wanna talk bout it,” Alex lifted the bottle again. Kara gently pried it from her grasp. Alex tried to protest but really couldn’t do much to stop her in the state that she was in.

 

“Did something happen? Winn said you left work early,” Kara said slowly.

 

Alex blinked a couple of times. Without warning, she burst into tears. Something about having her sister here. Looking down at her with such compassion. Alex couldn’t handle it. How could she explain it to Kara when she couldn’t even explain it to herself?

 

“Oh Alex,” Kara wrapped her arms around her sister. She lifted her up and carried her to the bed. Kara didn’t see Alex meltdown very often. She could count on her fingers the number of times she’s seen it. Not to mention the alarming amount of alcohol her sister had consumed. She hasn’t binged like this in forever. Barely even used it to take the edge off. Kara had no idea what was going on.

 

“I need her,” Alex sobbed into Kara’s shoulder. “Please. I need... need- I just need her. Kara,” Alex’s whole body was shuddering. Kara knew she shouldn’t interfere. Let Alex exhaust herself. She just sounded so pitiful. “She’ll never want me. I shouldn’t have- Kara,” Alex whimpered again. Kara couldn’t stand it. She grabbed Alex’s phone and hit the #2. Drunk dialing Maggie wasn’t the brightest idea, but Kara would be here to monitor. Maybe hearing her voice would help?

 

_“Heyyyy, you’ve reached Ruby’s phone- I’m obviously doing something more important right now, but if you know I like you feel free to leave a message. I’ll answer if I actually do like you.”_ Ruby’s cheerful voice filled the room. Kara’s jaw dropped. That wasn’t Maggie. She could’ve sworn she hit number two. Speed dial to Maggie.

 

“Ruby?” Alex whimpered quietly. Then she broke into another round of sobs. Louder this time. Kara set the phone down and rubbed Alex’s back.

 

“Ruby can’t see this. She can’t. Take her away Kara, take her away,” Alex was beginning to screech.

 

“Alex, you’re drunk- Ruby isn’t here. I thought you needed... it doesn’t matter what I thought,” Kara tried to get her sister to realize she wasn’t lucid.

 

“I don’t need Ruby, I need Sam,” Alex screamed. “Ruby is a kid- she can’t see me like this. If Sam ever found out that I was like this she would never let me see her again. If she ever does.”

 

Alex’s ramblings weren’t making sense to Kara. The phone was left forgotten as Kara began singing a quiet lullaby from Krypton her sister.  Words were obviously not going to soothe her. Kara also wasn’t going to get any rational explanation from Alex tonight. The phone automatically cut the voicemail off after five minutes. By the time it was over Alex’s sobs were reduced to quiet whines and Kara’s melody filled the room.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Alex slurred. Somehow Kara knew the words weren’t meant for her.  Alex finally fell asleep wrapped in her little sister’s arms with her watchful blue eyes on her.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to contact me on tumblr @2manyships2name


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This week has been super busy. I've read all the comments but didn't really have time to respond. Thank you to everyone who responded though! 
> 
> I can't spoil, so you'll have to read to find out if everything gets all better... 
> 
> Anyway, happy Friday!

The house felt eerily silent moments after the door slammed. Sam’s mind was still spinning. Her eyes were fixed on the door Alex just used in her dramatic exit. She heard the SUV startup and tires screeching as she peeled out of Sam’s driveway. Sam blinked once, then again. What just happened? Sam set her jaw and crossed her arms. She knew exactly what happened. Alex Danvers overstepped. Sam was perfectly capable of raising Ruby herself. She’s been doing it for twelve years. Alex knew nothing about being a parent. The school should’ve called her, Alex should’ve called her- Alex should’ve never taught Ruby to throw a punch in the first place! Sam was running on adrenaline and getting angrier by the second. In what world did Alex think that this was okay? Sam was too blinded by anger to step back and see the big picture. Right now all she felt was white, hot rage that fueled her to further mentally bash the other woman.

 

“Are you just going to stand there?” Ruby appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I said-“

 

“I heard you,” Sam interrupted. “I am not sure what you’re referring to.”

 

“I’m referring to the fact that you just let the best woman in the world walk out your front door,” Ruby put her hands on her hips taking an oddly Alex-like stance.

 

“If she didn’t leave herself I would’ve thrown her out,” Sam crossed her arms defensively. “What happened today wasn’t okay. You got into a fight Ruby! Nobody called me. We’ve always been a team and Alex wanted to score points with you? Cover- or whatever she did. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you got in a fight. A new development since Alex taught you how,” Sam was seething.

 

Ruby’s eyes darkened, she was her mother’s daughter. That was for sure. “You’re going to blame Alex? Seriously Mom? She didn’t make me punch anyone. I did that. I chose to use my fists instead of my words. Alex taught me how to defend myself. Not how to beat down innocent people who make me angry.” The preteen was shaking with anger. How could her mom be so blind?! “You want to know what we fought about? Willa said you were leading Alex on. That she deserved to be happy. I defended you. I told her that you were just as crazy about Alex as she is about you. That you two are just too stupid to admit it. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently, you are just toying with her emotions.”

 

“I am still your mother and you are not going to speak to me that way,” Sam’s stomach twisted at Ruby’s words. She was not leading Alex on. If anything Alex was sending her all kinds of mixed signals. Stepping up to play Mom but refusing to actually put a label on their relationship. That was on Alex. Not Sam.

 

“Yeah, and at this rate- you’ll be the only Mom I ever have,” Ruby spat.

 

“That’s enough. I’m canceling your Christmas party,” Sam wasn’t thinking clearly. She just needed Ruby to stop. Stop painting her as the bad guy. She has been the bad guy before. Literally. Sam needed someone on her side. The one person who has always been there; wasn’t. She walked out the door not ten minutes prior. Sam didn’t know why she was losing her cool with Ruby. She has dealt with years of tantrums. She has never once sunk to Ruby’s level. She has never taken the comments personally. She has never felt this alone.

 

“Fine by me. The one person I want there won’t come; not after _you_ chased her away,” Ruby turned and stomped up the stairs. She paused halfway up, “and for the record, two years ago at Angel Park, I punched Fiona Glades.”

 

Sam was left speechless as Ruby continued stomping up the stairs. Sam numbly turned around and walked back to the kitchen. She turned off the stove and put the saucepan in the sink. It was burnt anyway. She continued into the dining room and frowned at the perfectly set table. Set for three. Just how it has been set for the past two months. Sam got to work mindlessly clearing the table. She boxed up the food and made a plate for Ruby.

 

Sam turned off the lights and walked upstairs. She knocked lightly on Ruby’s door. No response. Not that she was surprised. Ruby needed some time to cool down. Sam needed some time too. In the meantime, Ruby was not starving.

 

“I’ll leave the plate by the door,” Sam called through the door. “I want your electronics on the table by morning.”

 

Sam walked away and heard Ruby’s door opening behind her. She could’ve sworn she heard Ruby say, “I want Alex, not dinner.”

 

Sam closed her bedroom door and let out a deep breath. Anger still prickled across her skin. Sam methodically peeled off her clothes and threw them in the hamper. She pulled on her pajamas and sunk into bed. She stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. She periodically slid her gaze to her phone. Then she realized she was waiting for a goodnight text. A text that wouldn’t be coming. A text that might never come again. Sam angrily tossed her phone on the floor and pulled her blankets to her shoulders. She couldn’t help the sadness that made home in her gut. Which only made her angrier. She refused to be sad about a breakup that wasn’t a relationship in the first place.

 

* * *

 

The women in the Arias household were in a stalemate. Ruby stayed holed up in her room. She ate when Sam left food by her door, she snuck to the bathroom when she knew her mom was downstairs, at work, or in her room. Ruby took her punishment in silence. She didn’t complain. She didn’t argue. She held her ground. Sam was worried, but she raised Ruby to be a strong individual. To stand up for what she believed in. Ruby was doing just that.

 

It didn’t help that Sam was slipping. As the days passed and muddled together Sam’s anger morphed into sadness. The more she told herself it was Alex’s fault; the worse it got. After running the argument through her head again and again; she could see Alex’s reactions with clarity. The recoil from her touch, the crumple of her face; all in reaction to Sam’s stupid statement made in anger.

 

She could still hear Alex’s words thrown at her. All of which was true. Sam did let Alex in. Sam didn’t put up boundaries. Sam didn’t want them. She liked Alex taking some of the weight. She liked having someone to come home to.

 

After three days of wallowing Sam finally admitted to herself that she wasn’t mad about that. She didn’t care that Alex picked Ruby up from the principal's office, she didn’t care that she brought her home, she didn’t care about the role Alex has taken in Ruby’s life. She wasn’t mad at Ruby for shouting at her. She was angry at herself. Probably Alex too, but mostly herself. How did she let herself get into this situation? She’s always planned. Her whole life she’s had a goal and taken the steps to get there. She went in on this thing with Alex blind. She felt so stupid. These types of arrangements never worked out. Someone always felt more. That someone always got hurt. That someone was Sam.

 

The brunette had been laying in bed all day. She heard Ruby get up over an hour ago to grab an early dinner. She would need to fix things with her soon. It wasn’t fair that she was dragged into this. The problem was between herself and Alex. Sam didn’t want to take Ruby’s friend away.

 

Sam stared down at Ruby’s electronics. Sam technically grounded her until after Christmas, but she decided she couldn’t take away Ruby’s whole break. Not after already messing things up with Alex. Sam knew they had plans for the break. She didn’t think Alex would cancel due to the fight. After Sam gave her the go-ahead of course, but she couldn’t be too sure. She was really nasty.

 

Sam turned on Ruby’s phone and waited for it to power up. It started buzzing with a flurry of incoming messages. Her friends at school wanted the scoop. Sam paused on the name at the bottom of the list. **Missed call from Alex.** Sam checked the date; it was from the night of the fight. Sam unlocked Ruby’s phone and held it to her ear.

 

Sam wondered if it was a butt dial as silence dragged. She was getting ready to delete it as Alex’s voice was barely heard.

 

_“Ruby?”_ Sam’s hand rose to cover her mouth as the message continued. There was some rustling of fabric as the sobs on the other end got louder.

 

_“Ruby can’t see this. She can’t. Take her away Kara, take her away,”_ Alex’s words turned hysterical. Sam’s chest tightened and tears tracked down her cheeks. She listened as Kara tried to soothe her sister. Sam wrenched the phone away from her ear and let it drop on the comforter. She couldn’t listen to anymore. Her heart couldn’t handle it.

 

Then the dam broke. Every tear she had been holding back. Her whole body shook with her sobs. She curled into a ball in the center of her bed and rocked back and forth. Sam wasn’t sure how long she was sobbing before she felt the bed dip beside her.

 

“Mom?” Ruby’s voice was soft, as was the hand she laid on Sam’s shoulder. Sam’s crying only intensified. Ruby shouldn’t see her like this. She didn’t deserve Ruby’s kindness. Not after all the pain she caused. It was like Sam could still hear Alex’s cries. She reduced the strong and beautiful woman to that.

 

“Mom, talk to me,” Ruby tried to wrap her arms around her Mom. Sam cried harder.

 

“I-I’m so, so sorry Ruby,” Sam choked out.

 

“I don’t think it’s me you need to be apologizing to,” Ruby said softly.

 

“I do,” Sam gasped for air. Her lungs were burning. The room was spinning. She squeezed her eyes shut and focused on taking deep breaths. They lapse into silence as Sam got ahold of herself. “I need to apologize to two people. You’re here now, so I’m starting with you,” Sam’s voice was shaky, but clear enough to understand. “I’m sorry for hurting your friend’s feelings. I’m sorry for screwing up an important relationship in your life. I’m sorry for overreacting. I’m sorry Rubes.”

 

“I love you Mom,” Sam’s eyes snapped to Ruby’s as her little girl spoke. “I love you more than anyone. Sometimes I forget that you’re human too. I forget that you feel things. That you’ve been through stuff. I also forget that you have a very different relationship with Alex than me,” Ruby proceeded cautiously. She could feel her mother tensing under her hold. “I know that Alex is fun, loving, and open. I know that Alex puts her heart into protecting those she loves. I know how exceptional of a person she is. I watch her walk around our lives with stars in her eyes as she watches you. I’m twelve, I’m not stupid.” Ruby took a breath. “I also know she puts her heart in a box. That I’m a kid. She can love me unconditionally with little to no fear. It’s different than trusting someone the way she wants to with you.” Ruby could already see the denial on her mother’s face. “I also know you said the one thing to her that could shatter her. She can handle this bullsh-crap friendship card. She can handle your rejection. She can live, unhappily might I add, live with just pretending. She holds onto the pieces of us that you let her. She’s always let us set the pace. Never taking more than you give. Mom, give her everything. For the love of all things living, please,” Ruby was starting to get teary. “We need her. And I think she needs us too.”

 

Sam’s mouth opened and closed. Ruby’s words hit her in all the hard places. When did Ruby get so wise? The more her daughter's words sunk in the faster the tears came back. Sam curled away from Ruby and let her head drop on her pillow.

 

“Mom?” Ruby peeked over Sam’s shoulder. She thought her words would help. Sam was getting worse. Crying harder. Ruby laid her head on her mom’s side and let her work it out in her head.

 

“I like her so much,” Sam admitted quietly. “Sometimes it hurts,” she let out a sigh as the weight was lifted from her chest. “I spend my days deluding myself that I’m okay with being her friend. Like you said, that I can live with what she is giving me.” Ruby waited for Sam to continue. She couldn’t rush this. “But when it comes down to it, it really doesn’t matter what I tell myself,” Sam said dejectedly. “Don’t interrupt me; I listened to you,”  Ruby’s mouth snapped shut. “Alex is so... she is everything I could want. Relationships are complicated. I’m not in the place for one. I’m still healing. I’m learning who I am as Sam. Accepting what I did as Reign. Alex is still hurting too. She has to process her own traumas, losing Maggie. Honey, we’ve both been through so much this year. We can’t realistically expect a relationship to work if we can’t even take care of ourselves. Alex and I have talked about it,” _kind of..._ “We’re just friends. Close friends,” _closer than I’m going to discuss with my daughter._ “But that’s all we are. All we can be. And if that’s what Alex is willing to give me, then that’s what I’m going to take. I’m not going to push into more. She’s made her feelings very clear.” Friends, friends, friends; Sam could vividly remember every time Alex called her that.

 

“You’re hopeless,” Ruby sighed. She wasn’t going to argue with her mother. Not after hearing such vulnerable thoughts. Not after blaming her for what happened. Guilty was an understatement for what Ruby felt. She shouldn’t have accused her mother of leading Alex on. It felt even worse having it confirmed that it wasn’t one-sided. That her mom was just as in love with Alex as Alex was with her. Ruby couldn’t believe that Alex didn’t want more. She could believe that’s how her mom was interpreting it though.

 

“Do I get my phone back?” Ruby squealed at Sam’s nod. She picked it up and noticed a message was playing. She stuck the phone to her ear and replayed the message. Sam looked over at Ruby as her face filled with horror. Sam shot up realizing what her daughter was listening to. Sam grabbed the phone and swiftly deleted the message.

 

“Sorry honey, I meant to delete that before you heard it,” Sam handed the phone back.

 

“You listened to that?” Ruby asked bewildered. “How can you still say she doesn’t want you after that?”

 

“First of all, she was drunk. And secondly- well I don’t think I need another reason besides she was really drunk.”

 

“Alcohol makes people tell the truth!”

 

“Ruby, we all already knew how much she loves you. It’s not a shocker,” Sam’s stomach growled. She frowned trying to think about the last time she ate.

 

“But Mom-“

 

“But nothing, I’m hungry; come keep me company while I cook?” Sam stood up and watched Ruby hopefully.

 

“Fine,” Ruby climbed out of bed after her mother. If her mother didn’t want to acknowledge, _I need Sam!_ \- then that was her choice. Little did Ruby know, her mom didn’t even hear that part.

 

* * *

 

Sam clutched the Noonan’s bag to her chest like a lifeline. She balanced a box of pastries on her left hand. Winn hurried to help. She assumed it had more to do with wanting to save the donuts. She let the man take them to the break room. Sam itched to walk immediately to Alex’s desk. The agent wasn’t there, but Sam would be more comfortable in her space. She hasn’t been back to the DEO after Reign. She did therapy at a nearby private clinic. She couldn’t bring herself to come back. She was locked in that cell for months. Rightly so. Nobody knew when Reign would take over. Not even Sam. She could still feel the glass walls surrounding her, the metal bed beneath her, the pitiful gaze of her friends when they came to visit. Sam was really trying to hold it together.

 

Everything seemed to melt away as Alex approached. She was barking orders into her headset. Sam hoped she didn’t come at a bad time. The DEO was always busy and Alex was an important asset to them. Alex hadn’t noticed her yet. Sam’s eyes tracked her movements through command. She was in a black DEO issued catsuit. She looked normal, or she would’ve looked normal to anyone who didn’t know her. She was tense. She was wearing more makeup than normal. She carried an air of sadness with her. Alex turned to her desk and caught Sam hovering in front of it.

 

“Since when do we let civilians in here?” Alex shot Winn a death glare.

 

“It’s Sam, and she brought donuts,” Winn held up the pastry and shoved half of it into his mouth.

 

“You shouldn’t have come,” Alex said lowly as she swiped locked her gun in her desk drawer.

 

“You weren’t taking my calls,” Sam responded just as quietly.

 

“Gee- I wonder why,” Alex slammed the drawer a little harder than intended. Winn’s head shot up and he stared at the two women quizzically. “I’m busy,” Alex added.

 

“Actually your schedule is free,” Winn butted in. Sam was eternally grateful for Winn at that moment.

 

“I’m going to the gym,” Alex pushed passed Sam and stalked in the direction of the DEO training rooms.

 

Winn tossed Sam his ID badge, “I bet you’ve never seen the gym.” Sam held the plastic and bit her lip. Should she let Alex push her away? Ruby would be disappointed. So disappointed. “She’s been sad lately. She hasn’t said anything, but if the look on her face when she saw you has anything to do with it- I, and the rest of the DEO would appreciate it if you’d fix it.”

 

That settled it then. Ruby needed this. The DEO needed this. Sam needed this, but she wasn’t going based off of her needs. She’s been selfish enough.

 

It took Sam a bit to find the gym. By the time she got there Alex already changed into workout gear. Sam was so nervous she couldn’t appreciate Alex to the fullest in her attire.

 

“Seriously? How the hell did you get back here?” Alex finished a rep of sit-ups and sat up.

 

“I had some help,” Sam shrugged. She didn’t want to throw Winn under the bus.

 

Apparently, she didn’t need to. Alex figured it out herself, “I’m going to kill him.”

 

“He wanted to help. He said you’ve been... off,” Sam moved closer and set down the paper bag she was holding. She sat down tentatively on the bench press. Alex wasn’t screaming to get out. That had to be a good sign.

 

“I’ve been fine,” Alex snapped.

 

“Ruby just got her phone back. You should be hearing from her soon,” Sam tried switching the subject. Ruby was always a safe place. Not anymore it seemed. Alex gave a curt nod. Sam was already aware that Ruby has blown up Alex’s phone and gotten nothing more than a two-word answer. “This fight that we’re having. It’s not going to affect Ruby. Right?”

 

Alex let out a snort, “I think it’s already affected her. And I’m pretty sure you’re only asking me that because you know I’ve been keeping my distance.” Sam smiled softly. Alex the ever clever agent.

 

“Yes. I did hear that. Ruby is persistent, but eventually, it’s going to get her down. Right now she is just confident you need space,” Sam responded lightly.

 

“Space would be good. Maybe you can take a page from Ruby’s book and do just that.”

 

Sam ducked her head, “I deserve that. And I can give you space.” Alex raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “I just believe before you get more space you deserve an apology,” Sam’s words seemed to catch Alex’s attention. “I screwed up Alex. It wasn’t fair. You were trying to help. You did help. My day would’ve been ten times crazier if I had to pick Ruby up from school. And you knew that. You put Ruby and I first. I stomped all over that. I had a bad day at work. I lost my temper. I said things I shouldn’t have. I only thought about me. You deserve better than that. You’ve been a godsend to Ruby and I. My emotions got in the way. My anger was misplaced. I thought I was upset about you stepping in and I wasn’t. I brought out my anger on you when we should’ve just had a conversation about it. I’m really sorry. Not just so you make up with Ruby. Not just so we can resume sleeping together. I’m sorry because I genuinely hate myself for hurting my friend.” Sam stood as soon as she finished her speech. “Lunch is in the bag, you’re still invited for Christmas Eve, and when you’ve had enough space please text me. Or call. Or show up at the house. I really am sorry.” Sam turned from the workout room. She said what she needed to say. Now she needed out before she confessed her relentless and undeniable love for her.

 

* * *

 

“What do you mean you’re not coming?” Ruby’s voice echoed through the airy kitchen. Sam brushed passed her daughter and started on breakfast.

 

“You said you loved me. Was that a lie?” Ruby’s voice cut through the silence. Sam sighed. She knew that Ruby would eventually run out of patience. Ruby was over the moon when Alex started texting her regularly. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and as of yesterday Ruby still didn’t have a solid answer from Alex. It seemed she now had an answer. It just wasn’t the one Ruby wanted. “Alex! Come on. It won’t be a real party without you there,” Ruby was in full pleading mode. Sam knew the tears were coming when Ruby’s bottom lip started trembling. “I don’t want to have our own party,” her voice cracked. “I want to celebrate real Christmas with you. I really miss you,” Ruby’s voice lowered to a whisper.

 

The room was silent. Ruby nodded her head a couple of times even though Alex couldn’t see her. “Okay,” Ruby sighed. “I’m going to go now. Talk to you later I guess.” Ruby hung up the phone and laid her head on her arms.

 

“I’m sorry baby,” Sam set a plate of pancakes in front of her daughter. She sat down next to Ruby and put her arms around her shoulders.

 

“How long before it stops hurting?” Ruby asked quietly.

 

“I don’t know honey. It’s still really fresh. Alex loves you. She loves you so much. If she didn’t she wouldn’t have gotten as upset as she did. She’s avoiding me. Not you. I’m sorry it’s hurting you,” Sam ran her fingers through Ruby’s hair and kissed her forehead.

 

“Is it too late to cancel the party?”

 

“Well- no. Is that really what you want?” When Ruby nodded her head yes Sam pulled out her phone. She sent a text to the group chat. At this point, she didn’t care about disappointing anyone. The two people who meant the world to her were hurting. It was all her fault.

 

**SuperFriends**

 

**Winn-** _Wait? Is this for real?_

 

**Kara-** _Is everything okay?_

 

**Lena-** _??_

 

Sam didn’t respond. She couldn’t explain what happened. It was messy and not something she wanted to get into. She flipped her phone over and focused on getting Ruby to eat. She needed a little more time to come up with a good excuse. Sam’s phone continued to go off. Ruby gave it a look every time it went off. Sam ignored it.

 

“I’m going to go, FaceTime Willa,” Ruby excused herself from the table. Sam cleaned up breakfast before settling down to go through her phone. She knew if she didn’t get back to them soon Kara would show up on her doorstep. Sam scanned through the messages and nearly dropped her phone.

 

**Superfriends-**

 

**Alex-** _I must’ve forgotten to text you that I got off work. I’m still able to come by early and get things ready._

 

Sam stared at the message. She lifted her head as Ruby came thundering down the stairs.

 

“Mom! Alex is on the phone, she wants to talk to you,” Ruby held her cell out to Sam. “Don’t mess this up,” Ruby shook her finger at her Mom.

 

“Alex?” Sam breathed into the phone.

 

_“I’m still invited? It wasn’t just a pity invite or something you did to make Ruby happy?”_

 

“Oh Alex,” Sam paused and gave Ruby a look. The twelve-year-old got the message and retreated from the room. “Our friendship always comes first. I wasn’t pity inviting you- though I’ll take a pity acceptance. Things have been tough around here,” Sam admitted trailing off.

 

_“I don’t want to hurt Ruby,”_ Alex sighed into the phone. _“I also don’t want to step on your toes.”_

 

“You’re not. Alex, I promise you’re not. Ruby really misses you.”

 

_“Ruby, right.”_

 

Sam frowned, Alex sounded bitter. “She didn’t cancel the party to guilt you. I don’t even think she thought that far ahead. I think she couldn’t imagine Christmas without you,” Sam knew she shouldn’t be talking for Ruby. Except she really wasn’t. She was speaking for herself. She didn’t want a Christmas celebration without Alex.

 

_“Okay, tell the kid I’ll be there,”_ Alex said before hanging up the phone. Sam squeezed her eyes shut. Ruby crept back into the room and pried the phone from her mother’s hand.

 

“Hey, she’s coming. That’s something,” Ruby put her hand on Sam’s shoulder.

 

“We really need to work on this eavesdropping thing,” Sam shook her head. Ruby was right, this was a step in the right direction.

 

“You best text Superfriends and re-invite them all.”

 

* * *

 

“Mom, you need to calm down,” Ruby’s trailed behind Sam as she hurried from the living room to the kitchen and back again. “Seriously, they’re family. Have you seen Winn’s place? Disaster zone. It’s immaculately clean in here. Just focus on the food,” Ruby said again.

 

Sam’s nerves had nothing to do with anyone besides Alex. She’s apologized, she’s given her space- she wasn’t ready to see her. She’s been waiting too of course. She’s missed her like crazy, but this felt wrong. Forced. Like Alex felt obligated into coming over.

 

It was also terrifying because she wasn’t hiding from herself anymore. Alex wouldn’t know anything has changed. She and Ruby would though. She wasn’t sure she could resume what they had going on. She already hurt so much. It would no doubt get worse if they kept it up. _I can accept Alex being in my life as a just a friend. Someone for Ruby to look up to. Right?_

 

A knock on the door startled her from her thoughts. Her eyes flew wildly to the door.

 

“Mom, take a deep breath,” Ruby watched panic consume her mother.

 

“The party isn’t starting for another three hours,” Sam squeaked. She was still dressed in her Christmas pajamas.

 

“It’s probably just a group of Christmas carolers,” Ruby bounded to the door and flung it open. “ALEX!” Ruby’s screech seemed to vibrate the whole house. It also stopped Sam’s world. She dropped the glass she was holding. It shattered at her feet. To her horror, Ruby and Alex rushed into the room.

 

“Stay still,” Alex dropped her things in a heap on the counter. Sam shifted her weight and Alex shot her hand out to still her. “Sam, I’m serious. I’d rather not spend Christmas Eve pulling glass from your foot.” Alex bent down and began picking up the larger shards. “Ruby, grab a container,” Alex took the plastic from Ruby and piled the broken pieces in it. “Wet paper towel,” she held out her hand. Alex wiped down the space around the taller woman’s feet. Sam’s chocolate eyes followed her every move. “It’s all clear,” Alex stepped out of Sam’s space and gave her a shy, crooked smile.

 

“You’re wearing my sweatshirt,” Alex blurted out.

 

Sam flushed and averted her eyes. It’s one of the things Alex had forgotten at her house a while back. She found it under her bed when she was cleaning. It was so soft and smelled just like Alex; she couldn’t help but put it on.

 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry,” Sam‘s throat closed up in embarrassment. She was the one to screw up and now she was wallowing like a heartbroken teenager. Sam tugged at the sleeves and began pulling the garment off.

 

“You’re fine,” Alex rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably.

 

“Wow. It’s a good thing she came three hours early,” Ruby looked back and forth between the women. “Superfriends would have figured out your ‘just friend’ vibes faster than Kara can eat an order of potstickers.” Ruby used air quotes around the term just friends.

 

“That would take her like .4 seconds.”

 

“Exactly,” Ruby crossed her arms smugly.

 

“On that note, I’m going to go change,” Sam clasped her hands together and shuffled out of the kitchen. She could feel both Ruby’s and Alex’s eyes following her out.

 

Sam got to her room and resisted the urge to curl up in her bed. She stripped out of her clothes and folded Alex’s sweatshirt. She pulled on the outfit Ruby insisted she wear tonight. The black leggings were fine. It was the candy stripe knee high socks, wreath earrings, and a dreadful navy blue sweater that was bothering her. The animated reindeer with its red scarf and giant nose was mocking her.

 

Sam walked back downstairs and headed towards the living room. She could hear Alex and Ruby already squabbling.

 

“Alex! Uncross your arms! You look great!” Ruby urged.

 

“I look stupid,” Alex huffed back. Sam could hear amusement lacing her tone.

 

“Are you saying I look stupid?” Ruby shot back. “Are you saying she looks stupid?” Ruby spun around and pointed at Sam. “And you say I have an eavesdropping problem,” Ruby smirked.

 

“I wasn’t-“ Sam stopped explaining as she took in Alex’s outfit. It was like looking in the mirror. Minus the socks and earrings. _Apparently, I’m not the only one Ruby has wrapped around her finger,_ Sam mused to herself.

 

“Shut your mouth, you’re going to catch flies,” Ruby poked Alex gleefully on the cheek.

 

“You need to stop repeating the things you hear Lena say,” Alex’s eyes darted to Sam uncertainty.

 

“Would you rather me repeat the things I hear you say?” Ruby asked cheekily. “How about that one time you told Winn you were going to-“ the rest of Ruby’s sentence was muffled by Alex’s hand over her mouth.

 

“Gross, don’t lick me,” Alex wiped her hand on her leggings.

 

“Don’t put your hand over my mouth.”

 

“Alright you two,” Sam held out a hand to placate them. “Are you going to be good if I head back to the kitchen?”

 

“Oh, we’ll be fine,” Ruby smiled. “The real question is... are you going to drop any more glasses?”

 

“I give up,” Sam playfully threw her hands up and walked to the kitchen muttering to herself about unruly children.

 

* * *

 

Sam relaxed a lot faster than she thought she would. Ruby turned on Christmas carols and began another sing-off. Sam worked in the kitchen right up until everyone started arriving. Her house was soon full of people. Lena and Kara showed up first with a garbage bag full of presents. Sam cringed knowing over half of them were for Ruby. Lena just couldn’t control herself. Winn showed up next. It didn’t take him long before he was comfortable in the armchair animatedly throwing shade at Alex. James apologized for being late; by twenty minutes, and offered to help her out in the kitchen. Sam declined and encouraged him to sit down. They were just waiting on J’onn. He was taking longer than expected, but running a government meant unplanned, pop-up emergencies.

 

Sam heard the door open and made her way from the kitchen to meet the Martian.

 

“Grandma Danvers!” Ruby flung herself off the couch and wrapped her arms around the woman. Sam’s eyes were locked on the older blonde standing at J’onn’s side. Sam was slack jaw as she stared at the woman embracing her daughter. The woman who has never met Ruby. The woman who also happens to be Alex’s mom. _Is this what dying feels like? Am I having a nightmare?_ Sam was tempted to pinch herself.  

 

“Well, there goes my plan to not drinking tonight,” Alex’s voice sounded from beside her.

 

Eliza beamed and pulled Ruby into a hug. Sam glanced sideways at Alex. Her face reflected about what Sam was feeling. Confusion and unbridled fear.

 

“I can call you that right? Like I call Kara and Lena Auntie, or how I call Winn and James Uncle?” Ruby intertwined her fingers with Eliza’s and brought her into the living room.

 

“Of course,” Eliza was quick to confirm. “What do you call Alex?” She asked curiously. Sam put her hand over her mouth praying that Ruby knew better. That Ruby would keep her mouth shut.

 

“Just Alex,” Ruby answered after a beat of silence. Eliza thought for a moment and nodded.

 

Sam felt Alex squeeze behind her and retreat to the kitchen. Sam was quick to follow.

 

“My mother is out there,” Alex pointed to the other room like Sam didn’t already know that. Alex paced the length of the kitchen and ran her fingers through her hair. “My mother. Sam, this isn’t good.” Alex sucked in a breath. Her eyes were wild. Sam didn’t hesitate to throw her arms around Alex.

 

“Trust me, I wasn’t exactly ready for this either,” Sam murmured into Alex’s ear. “You will be okay. Ruby will keep her attention. We will get through tonight intact,” Sam was reassuring herself as much as she was Alex.

 

“You don’t get it. She knows me better than anyone,” Alex let out a shaky breath against Sam’s skin. Sam pulled her closer. Held her tighter. She needed this. She’s been needing this. Obviously, Alex needed it too.

 

Sam reluctantly pulled back. She needed to see Alex. Look her in the eye and make it better. “Everything will be fine. I promise.”

 

Alex slowly nodded her head. She visibly calmed. Sam’s heart soared in with the realization that Alex still trusted her. Alex pulled out of the embrace as J’onn shuffled into the kitchen. He looked at the two women and looked between their sweaters then down at his own Christmas Yoda sweater.

 

“What we will put up with for our kids, am I right?”

 

The moment was broken. Pain pooled in Alex’s eyes and she looked down at her hands. Sam could only imagine what she was thinking. Alex slipped back out of the kitchen. Sam let her go without a fight. Now wasn’t the time or place to have a much-needed conversation.

 

Sam plastered a smile on her face and flit around. She refilled drinks, cleaned plates, and played hostess. It didn’t take long before Ruby got impatient. She wanted to do presents! Sam was the last in the room, minus Lena who was in the restroom. There was an open seat beside Kara and behind Alex., Ruby convinced the agent to sit on the ground. Ruby was settled between Alex’s legs with a pile of presents to her left.

 

Sam could feel Eliza’s eyes on her as she carefully made her way through the maze of people and presents. Sam put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and stepped over the pair to settle on the couch behind them. Alex’s back was pressed into her legs. Sam thought about sitting on her hands to avoid running her fingers through Alex’s hair. Lena popped back in moments later and squeezed in next to Kara.

 

“Do we have a specific order or something?” Winn asked Ruby. She was the one running the show.

 

“Nope,” Ruby popped the P and shook her head. “Dig in. The only rule is thanking whoever the gift giver is.” Ruby picked up her first present and got to work.

 

Everyone seemed to take Ruby’s lead and began opening their gifts. Sam opened hers one at a time and very slowly. She was trying to watch Ruby and open her gifts. She kept straying back to a particular present. The thin box with penguin wrapping paper that was labeled **From: Alex.**

 

“Thanks, Sam,” Alex’s voice was soft as she held up the sweatshirt.

 

“Let me see!” Lena called from across the couch. Alex turned it and the group let out a collective laugh. It was black with white print, I _nstant Doctor, just add coffee._ The graphic was a mug of coffee and the steam swirled between the words. Sam saw it and thought of Alex immediately. It was a good of a gift as any to give her publicly. Her second gift was hidden away in her room. At this point, she wasn’t sure she was going to give it to her.

 

Sam’s pile was dwindling when she saw Alex pick up a yellow package. Sam tilted her head and frowned. That wrapping paper looked mighty familiar. Snowmen on surfboards, a box about the size of a ring box- holy shit! _How did that get into her pile?!_ Sam lurched forward and snatched the present from her hand. Alex cursed when Sam’s knee hit the back of her head.

 

“Sorry,” Sam stuffed the present behind her. A hush fell over the room and Sam froze. “That’s not for you.”

 

“It has my name on it,” Alex grumbled rubbing the back of her head.

 

“It’s for a different Alex,” Sam said desperate for a lie they would believe. “Someone at work.”

 

“Alex from accounting or janitorial?” Lena asked folding one leg over the other.

 

“Alex from It’s none of your business.”

 

“Seriously Mom? You sound like a fifth grader,” Ruby rolled her eyes and continued opening her presents like her mother wasn’t acting like she committed a crime. “You should’ve said something if you didn’t want it down here.”

 

“I think by not putting it down here myself or with the other presents should’ve clued you in,” Sam dropped her hands into her lap.

 

“Whatever,” Ruby shrugged. “Thanks Winn!” Ruby held up a movie theater gift card and a box of candy.

 

It took the adults a little longer to get back to unwrapping their gifts. Alex resumed what she was doing and slowly the rest followed suit. Sam got to the last present. She picked it up and unwrapped it just as slowly as she did the rest of them. She opened the box and pulled out an envelope. Inside the envelope was a thin packet. Sam’s eyes scanned the contents trying to decipher what it was.

 

“It’s for you and Ruby,” Alex spoke up. Ruby heard her name and reached for the papers. Sam was trying not to cry. How did Alex know? She wanted nothing more than to drag Alex into her lap and kiss her senseless.

 

“Wait- is this horseback riding lessons?” Ruby squealed and threw her arms around Alex’s neck. “It says at the end we can go on a trail ride. Did you see?” Ruby waved the papers excitedly in front of her moms face. Ruby continued going through the packet absorbing all the details. Ruby’s lips quirked into a frown.

 

“It says there are three vouchers,” Ruby pointed out. Sam felt Alex tense against legs.

 

“They came in packs of three. You can bring a friend if you want,” Alex lied smoothly.

 

“You can come. Right?”

 

“I won’t be able to consistently get off work,” Alex lied again. Ruby’s face fell. In Alex’s mind, it was for the best.

 

“I can make sure you can,” J’onn spoke up.

 

“It seems like a family thing,” Alex tried to reason with Ruby.

 

Sam settled her hand on Alex’s shoulder and gave a small squeeze. “Good thing you’re family then.”

 

Alex lifted her head to meet Sam’s gaze. She held it as if she was searching for signs of deception.  

 

“SuperFamily!” Winn shouted happily.

 

Alex’s gaze broke and her face fell. “Right. Of course I’ll come Ruby.” Ruby was the only one with presents left. Everyone watched with interest as she exclaimed how great every single one was. As soon as Ruby finished up Alex excused herself. Sam cleaned up the wrapping paper while keeping her eye on the not Alex, Alex gift. When the living room was semi-presentable she walked back to the kitchen to hide the gift.

 

Sam stopped in the doorway when she heard Alex and Eliza.

 

“I’m just saying- she doesn’t call you Aunt Alex. She is wearing the same sweater as you. Not to mention so is her mother. What are you doing Alexandra? I love you sweetheart, but I don’t understand,” Eliza’s voice carried to her ears. “You said just last month that you weren’t dating anyone. Now your coaching soccer? Getting horseback riding lessons? Are you seriously using a child to woo her mother?”

 

Sam’s heart hurt for Alex. She knew Eliza didn’t understand her. She wanted to step in and defend her. Alex didn’t deserve that.

 

“I’m not trying to woo anyone,” Alex snapped. “Sam is my friend. That’s all we’ll ever be. I love Ruby for Ruby. Stay out of it. Please.”

 

There was a level of desperation in Alex’s voice that she hasn’t previously heard before. All as Sam could focus on was the part about never being more than friends. Alex just confirmed it. Sam pushed down the tears and returned to the living room. She wasn’t expecting things to magically get better. She just foolishly let herself hope for more.

 

“Oh! I know!” Ruby jumped up and down excitedly. “We can have a girls night sleepover!”

 

All eyes turned to Sam. Ruby waited expectantly for her mom to agree.

 

“What did we miss?” Alex stopped beside Sam when noticing the silence and stares. She watched worriedly as Sam’s face paled.

 

_Tonight is just not my night._

  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is late! I've been really sick lately. Sleeping off and on. That being said- I'm not sure when I'll have the next chapter up. Stuffy nose, sore throat, headache- the whole works. It makes it way harder to write. My brain feels like mush. 
> 
> Thanks for all the friendly comments! I know they are hurting and we want to make the better. They will get there. Bear with me. Also... just don't hate me too much... 
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> Another shout out to @koalitygirl for Beta reading :-)

Alex knew before the night started that it would be hell. Seeing Sam and Ruby after what happened provoked panic-stricken thoughts. She wasn’t sure who it would be harder to be around. Sam made her feel things she didn’t want, but Ruby reminded her of what she didn’t have. She couldn’t live in her happy little bubble with her pretend pseudo family anymore. Not after what was said. She was terrified she would walk into the Arias household with a neon sign on her face that read: I have real feelings for Sam and want to have her babies. Please let me into your family! Alex knew that was being a little dramatic, but it wasn’t completely false.

 

After being rightfully reprimanded for bringing Ruby home Alex realized a couple things. Sam wasn’t just some fling. She wasn’t just someone to fill the void Maggie left. She wasn’t comforting because Alex needed physical comfort. Just like she said when she was hurt. It was comforting because it was Sam. That’s how the brunette offered to comfort her, so that’s what Alex took. No complaints. Taking a step back forced her to see the big picture. She saw a future with Sam and Ruby. Which was terrifying seeing how badly things ended between her and Maggie. Nonetheless, it happened. Now Alex had to figure out what to do about it.

 

At first, she was blinded by anger. Anger at herself, anger at Sam. She spent a solid forty-eight hours drinking. Kara by her side the whole time. Not asking questions. Just sitting in support. On the third day, Alex dragged herself to work and  Sam came by to apologize. Alex wasn’t ready to hear it. She was still angry. When she went home that night she got trashed. Again. She promised Kara she wouldn’t- but she did anyway. That was the last day Alex drown her problems in alcohol. After getting over a massive hangover Sam’s apology sunk in. Alex’s real feelings came to light. She tried to give herself more space. She refused to come to the Christmas party. Then Ruby tried to cancel it. Alex caved and agreed. 

 

Alex was actually having a good time. It helped that she was thrown into helping Sam out from the minefield of glass. Alex couldn’t deny the way her throat dried at the godly sight of Sam in her sweatshirt. Ruby brought her to the living room, loosened her up with Christmas carols, then convinced her into wearing a dorky matching sweater. Alex was one hundred percent caught off guard when Sam came down wearing the same one. 

 

Then to top things off, her mother showed up.

 

Now she had to deal with controlling her reactions in a way that her mother wouldn’t question. She was already failing. Her attire alone was enough to clue the older Danvers in that something was going on. Even if it was all Ruby’s doing. Alex still went along with it. Just like she went along with Ruby pulling her onto the floor, back pressed against Sam which gave the whole room the view of them acting like a family. Thankfully it seemed to go over Kara’s head, but everyone else began exchanging looks. Alex could feel herself slipping. The longer she spent curled with Ruby on her lap and Sam against her back the sadder she got. She missed this, missed them. 

 

Alex had been mindlessly opening her presents. She cautiously picked up a bright yellow package. She read the label and frowned. She already opened a present from Sam. She began ripping into the paper when Sam’s knees slammed into her head. Alex hissed and dropped the present. Sam pulled it away from her. She glanced up at the woman who avoided her gaze. Alex didn’t believe for a second that the gift wasn’t for her. She wasn’t going to question Sam in the current company they held though. 

 

Alex clammed up when Sam opened her gift. She almost didn’t give it to her. Almost. She just wanted to make Sam happy. She should’ve expected Ruby to figure out how to drag her along. She would talk to Sam later. If it was really a problem she would come up with an excuse not to go. 

 

The hair on the back of Alex’s neck stood up. She turned slowly and caught her mom’s piercing eyes on her. She was giving her the look. Alex felt herself deflate. Her mom was disappointed in her, or at least unhappy. Alex let out a sigh and settled against Sam’s legs. She mentally prepared herself for whatever lecture her mother was going to throw at her. 

 

The second Ruby finished her gifts Alex got up and fled into the kitchen. She wasn’t expecting her mother to follow. She thought she had until they made it back to her apartment. Where they could really hash it out. Apparently, her mother wanted to do this here and now.

 

“Alexandra, darling, can’t you at least pretend to be happy to see me?” Her mother frowned and leaned against the counter. 

 

Alex shrugged, “I don’t really like surprises.”

 

“Hm... I thought you just didn’t like being caught in a lie.” 

 

“A lie?” Alex tilted her head in confusion. 

 

“You said you weren’t dating anyone.” 

 

“I’m not!”

 

“That’s not what it looks like,” Eliza rose an eyebrow.

 

“Things aren’t always as they seem.”

 

“I’m just saying- Ruby doesn’t call you Aunt Alex. She is wearing the same sweater as you. Not to mention so is her mother. What are you doing Alexandra? I love you sweetheart, but I don’t understand,” Eliza’s voice carried to her ears. “You said just last month you weren’t dating anyone. Now your coaching soccer? Getting horseback riding lessons? Are you seriously using a child to woo her mother?” 

 

Alex flinched at her mother's words. Why did she always think the worst of her? 

 

“I’m not trying to woo anyone,” Alex snapped. “Sam is my friend. That’s all we’ll ever be. I love Ruby for Ruby. Stay out of it. Please.” 

 

Eliza cocked her head to the side and took in her daughters profile. Slumped shoulders, sullen face, trembling lip. Alex was on the verge of tears. 

 

“Do you love her mother too?” Eliza asked gently. Alex’s eyes widened and she shook her head. 

 

“No. I told you we weren’t dating,” Alex crossed her arms defensively. 

 

“That’s not what I asked.” Eliza pushed off the edge of the counter and rested her hands on her daughter's upper arms. “You should tell her. You obviously mean a lot to her. And she couldn’t do much better than you,” Eliza quipped. Alex slumped even further into her mom’s embrace and let her take away some of the pain. She wished it were that simple. 

 

After a couple more minutes of being held Alex gently pushed her mom away. She still wasn’t used to her mother actually backing her up. Eliza gave her one last encouraging squeeze before following her into the living room. 

 

Alex stopped beside Sam and shuffled awkwardly next to the brunette. The room was in a hushed silence. She glanced over at Sam and watched color drain from her face. 

 

“What did we miss?” Alex was briefly worried that they had been found out. What else would make Sam panic like this? 

 

After it was clear San wouldn’t answer, Ruby spoke up. “We wanna have a sleepover,” she answered cheerfully. 

 

“A Christmas sleepover! That sounds amazing!” Kara bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet. 

 

Lena seemed to catch her friend’s hesitation. Though unlike Alex, she had no idea why it would be a problem. Alex felt her stomach sinking. She and Sam never crossed the line into sleepovers. At first, it was Alex’s hesitance, then it seemed that Sam had the same reservations. 

 

“That would work out well,” Eliza chimed in. “I can stay at Alex’s apartment and actually get a bed,” she said chuckling lightly. Whenever she stayed she had to sleep on the couch. Neither of her girls had guest rooms. 

 

Alex did a mental calculation of the space Sam had available. She had a five-bedroom house. One was a study, one was an in-home gym, Sam’s room, Ruby’s room, and the last, a guest room. There was literally just enough room for them. Alex’s gave Sam her attention again. The panic had seemed to really set in. Sam looked ready to crawl into a hole and hide. 

 

“I wanna sleep with Alex!” Ruby declared. Alex snapped her attention to Ruby. The girl gave her an innocent smile. Alex heard Sam’s exhale and soon enough she was agreeing. Alex realized Ruby offered to share a bed with her to put Sam at ease. She knew that Sam didn’t want to share a bed with her, but having it confirmed hurt. More than Alex cared to admit. 

 

“I guess this is as good as a time as any to leave then?” Winn gathered his presents and shuffled towards the door. James thanked Sam for hosting and then followed Winn. Alex stood frozen, observing Sam while the house broke out in chaos. Everyone said their goodbyes and soon it was just Lena, Kara, Ruby, Sam, and Alex. 

 

Lena and Sam disappeared into the kitchen. Alex followed Kara and Ruby into the living-room to start a movie. Alex barely sat down before she had an armful of Ruby. Kara heard the popcorn being made and hurried to make sure they didn’t burn it. 

 

“Alex?” Ruby’s face was mere inches from Alex’s face. She was whispering- Alex hoped Ruby remembered that Kara could hear everything.

 

“What’s up?” 

 

“Thank you for coming,” Ruby looped her arms around Alex’s neck and pressed her face against her shoulder. “Please don’t ever leave again.” Alex felt her sweater stick to her skin as wetness pooled under Ruby’s head. Alex tightened her hold around the now silently crying girl. Alex wanted nothing more than to promise never to ever leave her again. She couldn’t though. Sam held all the power in that arena. The thought stirred anger low in her stomach. She was once again reminded that Sam let her get involved. Sam let her fall in love with her family. This right here is why Alex didn’t want to come. Why she shouldn’t have come. 

 

“Ruby,” Alex spoke gently to gather her attention. “I can’t promise that things will be the same. I can actually guarantee they won’t be...” Alex knew now that things would not work if they kept going how they were before. She needed clear boundaries. Sex friends was too messy. “I can promise that I will love you, and continue to love you for the rest of my life. I’m a phone call away. Rubes, you mean so much to me. I love you kid,” Alex felt her throat closing up. She never knew loving someone would hurt this much. She concluded it was because she has never loved a child like she loves Ruby before. 

 

“I love you too,” Ruby nuzzled closer to Alex and let out a sigh. 

 

“Who wants hot chocolate?” Kara’s cheerful voice filtered into the room. Ruby wiped her nose not so discreetly on her sweater. Alex wrinkled her nose as another twinge went through her heart. Snot was another thing parents willingly dealt with. 

 

“I do!” Ruby reached to take a mug from Kara. Alex shook her head and Kara sat down on the smaller sofa, leaving room for Lena. Sam came in shortly after. Her lips were pursed and her shoulders tense. Lena followed Sam in with concern and worry etched on her face.

 

Sam sat down at the other end of the sofa and curled her feet under her body. She reached behind her and turned off the lights. The room was engulfed in darkness. 

 

“Mom,” Ruby patted the seat next to Alex. “Come cuddle,” Ruby urged her closer. Sam’s eyes met Alex’s in question. Alex wasn’t going to do anything that hurt Ruby so she gave her a shrug. Sam tentatively scooted closer. She was close, but not touching. Ruby stretched out across the couch so she was in both woman’s laps. 

 

As the movie played people started crashing out. One by one they fell asleep. Lena first, then Ruby. Alex felt Sam sink into her side, resting her head against her shoulder. Alex felt another round of anger rear its head. Sam fit so perfectly next to her. She was giving her so many mixed signals it made her head spin. She seemed upset about the sleepover, and yet she is curled into Alex’s side like last week never happened. Kara’s eyes were drooping closed as the movie ended. She barely protested when Alex vetoed playing another movie. Kara gently woke Lena. Alex’s stomach clenched and she looked away as Lena blinked sleepily and lovingly up at her sister. Alex wanted that. Alex wanted that more than anything. 

 

Alex slid her hand to Sam’s shoulder and gently rubbed her back until her eyes fluttered open. 

 

“Alex,” she breathed happily. Alex stiffened and gave Sam her best fake smile. Sam must’ve felt her tense and sat up rather quickly. Ruby still had them pinned to the couch, but Sam was able to give her some space. “Sorry,” she mumbled looking down. 

 

“Rubes,” Alex ducked down ignoring Sam’s apology. She wasn’t ready to forgive her for anything yet. “It’s time for bed. If we stay on the couch Santa won’t come,” Alex tickled her sides. 

 

“Alex, no!” Ruby rolled sideways nearly falling off their lap. Alex was quick to pull her close. Ruby cracked open her eyes and buried her face against Alex’s stomach. 

 

“Rubbbyyy, yes!” 

 

“Fine,” Ruby scooter further into Alex’s lap and rested her head on her shoulder. “Let’s go,” she tightened her hold around Alex’s neck. 

 

“You better hold on,” Alex warned as she stood up. Ruby giggled and clung to her. 

 

“She has legs,” Sam stood up beside them. She didn’t want Alex to hurt herself. Ruby was at least half of Alex’s weight. If not more. “She can carry herself up the stairs,” she added raising an eyebrow at Ruby. 

 

“Are you saying that I can’t carry her?” Alex said with a hint of challenge in her voice.

 

“Shut up Alex, we all know how strong you are. You don’t need to prove it,” Kara rolled her eyes. 

 

Alex kept her eyes locked on Sam. She wasn’t talking about her strength. She was seeing if Sam was going to pull a power play and make her put Ruby down. Because she was her mother. Not Alex. It was childish, but Alex was tired and not thinking clearly. 

 

“I’m saying you don’t have to,” Sam said gently. Alex’s expression softened and she nodded her head. 

 

“Actually you do have too because I’m like a leech. Not going to let go until you pry me off,” Ruby grinned. 

 

“You gonna suck my blood too?” Alex teased. 

 

“Eww! No!” Ruby shrieked. “Take me upstairs, my lovely steed!”

 

“Yes your majesty,” Alex adjusted her grip and took the stairs two at a time. 

 

“Can you find Lena and Kara pajamas?” Sam called up the stairs.

 

“Sure thing,” Alex shouted back downstairs. Ruby erupted in giggles as Alex raised her voice. Her mom had a strict no yelling in the house rule.

 

Lena and Kara exchanged bewildered looks and Sam bit her lip. She had actually directed the question at Ruby, but Alex knew where everything was. 

 

“Great,” Sam clapped her hands drawing Lena and Kara out of their silent conversation. 

 

Alex set Ruby down on her bed and exited the room so she could change. She crossed the hallway and entered Sam’s bedroom. She saw her discarded sweatshirt from earlier and laid it out on the bed for Sam to wear to sleep. She opened the pajama drawer and began pulling things out. She ran her fingers over one of Sam’s silky nighties and sighed. She passed the enticing sleepwear and shut the drawer when she had enough pajamas for everyone. She quickly changed into one of Sam’s baggy shirts and her own pajama pants. Then she walked to the guest room and handed Lena and Kara their clothes. 

 

“Aren’t those your pants?” Kara looked at the pair of pajama bottoms Alex handed Lena. 

 

“Yeah, I thought they would fit her better,” Alex shrugged nonchalantly. 

 

“Were you planning on staying over?” Kara scrunched up her nose in confusion. 

 

“Uh yeah- I was there when we all agreed,” Alex crossed her arms. She didn’t understand what her sister was getting at. 

 

“No. I mean like before,” Kara struggled to explain what she meant. “Those are your pajama pants,” she pointed again at the clothing in Lena’s hand. “The pair of pants you’re wearing are also yours. Which means you either packed clothes because you were planning on staying, or you have a stash of clothes here.” 

 

Kara’s words sunk in. Lena gave Sam a smug grin and turned back to Alex, “I can’t wait to hear this explanation.” She grinned. Kara looked at her girlfriend in confusion. 

 

“Oh, right,” Alex rubbed the back of her neck. “I already had stuff here,” Alex heard Sam suck in a sharp breath. Alex’s gaze was steady,  _ trust me on this _ , Alex hoped her message was conveyed. “When Sam was sick I lived between here and my place. When I was watching Ruby,” Alex reminded them. “Our stuff got mixed up. I haven’t bothered to gather everything. It’s not like I have a shortage of pajamas.” 

 

Kara nodded her head while Lena narrowed her eyes. Her sister seemed to buy it. Lena was obviously still on the fence. She shot Sam a look and the brunette just smiled. 

 

“Did you guys need anything else?” Sam asked. 

 

“We’re good,” Kara grinned. “Thank you for letting us stay!” 

 

“It’s my pleasure,” Sam smiled tightly. “Goodnight Kara, Lena,” Sam didn’t even glance at Alex as she exited the guest room. 

 

Alex said a quick goodnight to her sister and Lena before following Sam into the hallway. She followed the sound of voices into Sam’s room. She cocked her head in confusion as Ruby laid under the covers. Sam was perched on the edge of the bed beside her. 

 

“I don’t need them,” Ruby crossed her arms stubbornly. 

 

“Yes, you do. Please?” 

 

“Don’t need what?” Alex made her presence known so neither said things she wasn't supposed to hear. Sam jumped and Ruby gave Alex a tired smile. 

 

“We’re sleeping in here. Mom gets my bed. Hers is bigger,” Ruby pulled back the covers next to her. “And I don’t need my headphones tonight.” 

 

“You always sleep with them. Please don’t fight me on this,” Sam pleaded with her daughter. Ruby looked at Alex expectantly for backup. 

 

“These look pretty cool,” Alex plucked the headphones from Sam’s hands. They didn’t look like normal headphones. She couldn’t tell what they were used for without testing them out. Ruby shook her head and batted them away. 

 

“You know, if you wear them every night you probably won’t sleep as well without them. Your body has gotten into a routine. Humans are habitual creatures,” Alex paused to let Ruby absorb her words. “So I’m just saying, you might want to reconsider not wearing them.” 

 

Alex tossed the headphones beside Ruby. Sam’s eyes were wide with disbelief. Alex ignored her confused gaze and climbed into the bed next to Ruby. Alex pulled the covers around her body and scooted closer to Ruby. 

 

“Mom,” Ruby picked up the headphones with a frown. Sam crossed her arms and waited for Ruby to put them on. 

 

“You need to stop taking care of me,” Sam said quietly. She slipped the headphones from Ruby’s hands and onto her head. “I love you,” she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Ruby’s temple. Then she tucked the covers in around her and smiled softly. 

 

“Goodnight Alex,” Sam backed out of the room and hit the lights on her way out. 

 

“Night Sam,” Alex responded after she was already gone. 

 

* * *

Alex was restless. She had been tossing and turning for the last three hours. Drifting and dozing in and out of consciousness. She was driving herself mad. She just wanted to sleep! Ruby was sleeping like the dead. At first, Alex was afraid to move. She didn’t want to keep her up. As soon as Ruby was out she didn’t have to worry. She had been contently snoring ever since.

 

Alex curled on her side and mapped Ruby’s face with her eyes. She really did miss this. Her heart already hurt thinking about leaving tomorrow. She wanted to stay wrapped in Sam’s bed with Ruby laying an arms length away for eternity. The only thing that would make it better would be Sam laying behind her. Holding her and soothing her to sleep. Alex knew the chances of that happening anymore were minuscule. They haven’t exactly talked yet. Sam did apologize, but she wanted her friend back. Her friend Alex. Alex didn’t want to be friends anymore. Alex had no idea how to make that transition. 

 

With Maggie, she jumped right in- and she got rejected. Hard. Maggie was the one who came around and asked her out. Alex wasn’t sure she could dive in head first again. How does one woo a woman? Alex groaned. She hated that she was late to the party. If she would’ve figured this out in high school she could’ve had this all down to a science by now. Alex knew before she could even think about wooing Sam, they had to talk. Talk for real. Alex needed to be able to forgive her. Alex needed to gauge if she was even interested in more. Alex would settle for being allowed in Ruby’s life. She would always be there for Sam. She knew that she couldn’t be what they were. Not if she didn’t want to break herself even further. 

 

Alex sat up in bed as the silent house became a little less silent. Ruby was still quietly snoring. The sounds were coming from outside Sam’s bedroom. The whimpers were steadily rising in volume. Her first thought was Kara. It was always Kara. Kara had horrible nightmares when she came to earth. She still sometimes had them about the things she’s seen as Supergirl. Alex waited for a second to see if the cries stopped. Lena would be able to calm her sister. The cries continued and Sam’s bedroom door nudged open. Kara’s blonde hair was matted to her head, blue eyes heavy with sleep. 

 

“Alex? Sam’s having a nightmare,” Kara mumbled while leaning against the doorframe. Alex was quick to swing her legs out of bed. She made her way silently through the dark room, only the moonlight from the window filtering through. She was efficient in the space, knowing exactly where each and every piece of furniture, squeak of the floorboard and possible tripping hazard was in the room. 

 

“Lena’s still sleeping, and I thought you would be the best choice to calm her down,” Kara reached or for Alex in the dark. They shut the door behind Alex and talked quietly in the hallway. “You did such a good job with me when we were younger. Having nightmares is embarrassing, or it is for me. She knows you best...” Alex cuts off Kara’s rambling by putting her hand on Kara’s arm. 

 

“I got her Kar. Go get some sleep. No eavesdropping,” Alex nudged Kara towards the guest room. Once her sister was gone Alex took a breath and quietly opened the door to Ruby’s room. 

 

Alex momentarily froze at the view in front of her. Tears were sliding down her cheeks, her face twisted in pain, her whole body taught- Alex crept forward slowly. She didn’t want to spook the other woman. 

 

“No!” “Stop!” “Please!” Were the only words Alex could make out from Sam’s jumbled cries.

 

“Sam,” Alex inched closer. She wasn’t afraid of getting hurt. She would be able to fend off any flying limbs. “Sam, it’s Alex. Sam, you’re asleep. Sam, please come back to me,” Alex continued talking to her as she slid onto the edge of the bed. Sam continued thrashing, her cries growing louder. Now Alex’s name was thrown into the whimpering mix. 

 

Alex placed a hand on Sam’s ankle. She wasn’t surprised when Sam immediately tried to kick her off. Alex dodged the sloppy kick and ran her hand from her ankle, up her leg, across her waist, and carefully threaded her fingers through Sam’s hair. “Sam, come on sweet girl, please wake up,” Alex caught Sam’s hand as she swung it towards her in attempt to punch her. She brought her lips to Sam’s fist and softly peppered kisses on the knuckles. Alex continued to softly caress Sam’s skin and speak sweet nothings in her ear. She was trying to counter whatever violent dream Sam was having. 

 

Sam slowly began leaning into Alex’s touch rather than shy away and bat at her hands. Sam let out another whimper and nuzzled into Alex’s hand. 

 

“Sam?” Alex knew she was close to waking the other woman up. 

 

Sam’s eyes slowly blinked open. They were red-rimmed and glassy. She lifted her chin and met Alex’s worried gaze. Sam immediately tried to pull away. She didn’t get very far. The bed was pressed against the wall and Alex was on the interior. Sam literally had nowhere to go. Alex tightened her hold on Sam anyway. Sam averted her gaze and curled into herself. She looked so small and vulnerable. 

 

“How long have they been going on?” Alex asked gently. She already had a pretty good idea that they have been happening since Reign. Sam stayed silent. “Sam, please talk to me.” 

 

“They’ve always been going on,” Sam gave a small shrug. “Since Reign,” She unnecessarily clarified.

 

“That’s why Ruby wears those headphones,” Alex acknowledged. “You could’ve told me. I would’ve tried to help.”

 

“Right, because we totally talk about that kind of stuff,” Sam said dryly. 

 

“Well- I mean, we haven’t... but we could,” Alex offered. She was trying really hard not to be put off by Sam’s behavior. She knew the other woman was just lashing out in embarrassment. No matter how much Alex wanted to be angry. She couldn’t be. Not while looking at Sam’s tear-stained cheeks, shivering body, and hearing the echoes of her cries in her mind. Now was not the time to discuss what happened. They were both exhausted and Sam was in emotional overload. 

 

“Yeah?” Sam said softly finally turning to look at Alex. 

 

“Of course.” 

 

The two women sat in uncomfortable silence. The seconds ticked by. Alex wasn’t going to push Sam to talk. Sam’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times. Her jaw set and her eyes clouded over. Alex watched helplessly as Sam struggled to speak. 

 

Alex very slowly lowered her body to the mattress. She pressed closer to Sam gauging her reaction. She knew Sam would never ask her to stay, nor would she ask for physical comfort. She slipped an arm around Sam’s waist when there was no protest. Alex’s whole body aligned behind Sam’s and she pressed as close as she could. 

 

“All I see is fire. The world burning. Everyone I love is gone. I see every single person I killed. Their blood on my hands. I just sit there-  I just watch as it all happens,” Sam’s voice was tight. Alex stroked Sam’s hair urging her to continue. “I hurt so many people. It doesn’t matter that it really wasn’t me. I can see their faces. After separating from Reign everything came flooding back. All of that missed time, playing like a movie in my head. I just- Alex so many people were hurt. She used my body to do it,” Sam’s trembling got worse.

 

“Shh, shh,” Alex gently hushed Sam. “It’s all just a nightmare Sam. It’s not real. It wasn’t you. You’re safe. It might not seem like that, but it’s true. You’ll get through this. We’ll get through this,” Alex’s mouth was pressed against the shell of Sam’s ear. She felt Sam become pliable in her arms. Sam pressed closer and her breathing soon matched Alex’s. 

 

“Alex, I-“ Sam’s breath hitched. “Thank you. For everything. I’m really glad that we’re friends,” Sam murmured sleepily. Alex’s fingers stilled in Sam’s hair. Sam tilted her head to see Alex. 

 

“I’m glad we’re friends too,” Alex said as normally as she could. “Get some rest. I’ll stay right here,” Alex buried her nose in Sam’s hair just so she didn’t have to keep looking at her. A couple tears slid down Alex’s cheek when Sam confirmed what deep down Alex already knew. Sam would only ever see her as a friend. 

 

After tonight, whatever this was- it would never be the same. Alex wouldn’t let this destroy her. 

 

* * *

Alex stared blankly down at her phone. She wasn’t sure how long she had been doing so, but it was longer than she was proud of.

 

The text came out of the blue. 

 

Alex read through the message again,  _ Danvers! I’m in town for a case. Mind if we catch up over coffee?  _

 

How was she supposed to respond to that? Did she want to see Maggie again? Had it been long enough? Was she healed? 

 

Alex realized there was really only one way to find out. She had to go. She had to meet with Maggie and see if she was over her. Alex knew she was very attached to Sam. What she didn’t know was whether she stopped loving Maggie. She wasn’t sure she was even capable of not loving her. If she shot Maggie down now she might never get another chance to check. Just because she didn’t need the information pertaining Sam didn’t mean she didn’t want to know. For future reference. Even if the thinking that physically hurt. She didn’t want anyone but Sam. 

 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t completely up to her. She and Sam fell into the same routine pre-argument. Well, almost the same routine. They still tiptoed around the touchy subjects and haven’t resumed bedroom activities. Alex spent most of her time at the Arias house with Ruby. She didn’t come over for one on one time anymore. She got an occasional call in the middle of the night to talk her down from a nightmare. Their friendship had turned into an actual friendship. Alex respected the boundaries. Last time she pushed them she didn’t like the results. 

 

Alex sent her reply to Maggie and tucked her phone away. 

* * *

Tuesday morning rolled around and Alex felt oddly calm. The prospect of seeing Maggie didn’t induce panic. She was actually more curious than anything. About how Maggie was doing and how she would feel seeing her. At this point, Alex really wasn’t sure.

 

She rode her bike to the cafe and arrived ten minutes early. She wasn’t surprised that Maggie was already there. She spotted the shorter woman immediately. Maggie raised her head and looked at the door when the bell rang upon her entrance. Alex was greeted with a shy, dimpled smile. 

 

Maggie met her halfway to the table she sat at and engulfed her in a hug. Alex sunk into the warm embrace and drew her smaller body to her own a little tighter than intended. 

 

“Woah there,” Maggie pulled back in concern. “You okay there, Danvers?” 

 

“I.. uh, I guess I missed you,” Alex looked down at her hands. She hadn’t meant to make things awkward. She just realized how badly she needed a hug. A very friendly hug from her friend. It quickly dawned on Alex that her stomach didn’t swoop, her nose didn’t immediately go to the crook of Maggie’s neck, and she didn’t feel like she was embracing a lover. A smile involuntarily spread across Alex’s face. Maggie squeezed her hand to get her attention. Alex’s shifting moods was giving her whiplash. 

 

“Danvers?” 

 

“Your hand is too small,” Alex looked at their entwined fingers in awe. “I mean.. they are proportional for you- and they are lovely hands. I just mean...”

 

“You met someone,” Maggie interrupted with a genuine smile. 

 

“Pfft, no,” Alex shook her head. 

 

Maggie rolled her eyes, “I thought we were done with the whole hiding thing.” 

 

“I’m not hiding,” Alex defended herself. She followed Maggie to the table she was previously occupying. “I’m just... not actively pursuing the said person,” Alex shrugged. Talking about Sam with Maggie was weirdly not weird. 

 

“Why the hell not?” Maggie cocked an eyebrow. 

 

“Because... well,” Alex frowned. How did she explain exactly why she wasn’t pursuing Sam? 

 

“This is going to be good,” Maggie leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. 

 

“It’s not that interesting,” Alex insisted. “We are friends-“

 

“We were friends first,” Maggie butted in. 

 

“If you keep interrupting me I won’t talk.” Alex waited until Maggie was silent before continuing. “Like I said, we are friends. And she’s made it clear that she wants to stay friends. She’s been through a lot. Messing up what we have going just isn’t worth it.” 

 

“What?” Alex asked after Maggie remained silent. Her skin prickled hotly as Maggie continued to seemingly stare into her soul.

 

“That sounds a whole lot like bullshit,” Maggie sipped her coffee. “But- I really can’t argue with you without meeting this friend of yours.” 

 

“Yeah, no. That’s not happening,” Alex answered immediately. She didn’t even tell Sam about meeting Maggie today. It wasn’t a big deal, but she felt the need to hide it anyway. It’s because you have a shred of hope that she wants you like that, Alex thought. She didn’t want Sam to get the wrong impression. Besides, they haven’t exactly figured out how to communicate normally. Alex didn’t want to shake things up even more.

 

“You wound me,” Maggie playfully held her chest. 

 

Alex had a response on the tip of her tongue when her phone went off. Alex’s face flushed as the song ‘ _ Wannabe’ _ , by Spice Girls filled the tiny cafe. Alex could feel people’s eyes on her as she fumbled to silence it.  _ I’m going to kill Ruby,  _ Alex scowled. 

 

“I have to take this,” Alex said when she saw Sam’s name on caller ID. 

 

“Sure thing, go ahead,” Maggie snorted not bothering to conceal her amusement. 

 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

 

_ “It’s Ruby.”  _

 

“What’s wrong?” It wasn’t the fact that Ruby was calling off of Sam’s phone. It was the tone of her voice. Alex could tell she was trying to keep it together. 

 

_ “We’re at the hospital,”  _ Ruby whispered out. Her words hit Alex like a ton of bricks.  _ “You need to come. They are... they said they want me to wait with a social worker.”  _

 

“Where’s your mom?” Color drained from Alex’s face and her voice squeaked in concern. Alex was trying to stay calm for Ruby. She needed to, but she was so scared. Her world felt like it was collapsing on itself. “Ruby, is she okay?” 

 

_ “Yeah, I mean, she is still unconscious. They said she will wake up. She hit her head. I don’t like seeing her here. Can you please come?”  _

 

Alex realized she never answered Ruby’s question, “of course. Text me her room number. Stay calm. I’ll be there soon.” 

 

_ “I love you,”  _ Ruby sniffed. 

 

“I love you too,” Alex hung up the phone and slipped it into her pocket. 

 

“Woah- slow down,” Maggie stood up as Alex threw on her coat and scrambled for her keys. Her hands shook and tears blurred her vision. “Alex, stop.” Maggie put a hand on her arm. Alex tried to shrug her off and push past, but Maggie expected it. Maggie tightened her hold and forced Alex to look at her. 

 

“Let go, Maggie,” it came out as a low growl.

 

“Put your keys away. I’ll take you,” Maggie said firmly. She saw the gleam of defiance in Alex’s eyes. “Put them away Alex. Don’t make me fight you for them. It’ll be faster if you just agree with me.” 

 

“Fine,” Alex spit and shoved her keys in her pocket. She followed closely behind Maggie out. She didn’t even think to drop cash on the table. Luckily, Maggie did. Maggie brought her to a rental car and started towards the hospital the second they were in the car. Alex’s hand gripped her seat, knuckles turning white. It took every ounce of control to not start sobbing. 

 

“What happened?” Maggie asked cautiously. 

 

“Don’t know. Didn’t get that far. I didn’t want to upset Ruby.” 

 

“Ruby? Is that her daughter?” Maggie had already pieced together that the call was about Alex’s mystery friend. 

 

“Mags, can we not talk,” Alex leaned her head against the cool window and focused on breathing. 

 

Maggie stayed quiet for the rest of the car ride. She barely had the car in park before Alex was jumping out. Maggie hurried after her. She didn’t know how bad it was and didn’t want Alex to go at it alone. 

 

Alex gave her information to the ER desk and was pointed in the right direction. She saw Ruby sitting in a chair outside of what seemed to be Sam’s room. She was glaring up at what Alex presumed to be a social worker. 

 

“Alex!” Ruby leaped out of the chair and barreled towards the redhead. Alex gave Ruby a tight squeeze. 

 

“You’re the fiancé?” The social worker asked. Alex realized it was probably the only way Ruby would be released into her custody. She gave a quick nod. 

 

“Who’s that?” Ruby peered over Alex’s shoulder at Maggie. 

 

“Oh, that’s...” 

 

“Maggie Sawyer,” Maggie responded. She gave Ruby a willing smile. The girl narrowed her eyes and tightened her hold on Alex. “Alex’s friend,” Maggie added shuffling on her feet from Ruby’s icy demeanor. 

 

“Oh.” Ruby let go of Alex and sat back down in her chair. Alex was already seeking out the doctor. She didn’t notice Ruby’s change. 

 

“Watch her for a second,” Alex brushed past Maggie. 

 

“I- what? Alex!” Maggie sighed as the other woman disappeared.

 

* * *

Alex listened numbly as the doctor explained Sam’s condition. She was in a car accident. It was considered minor. She hit her head when the airbag didn’t deploy. She was supposed to wake up soon.

 

Once Alex had all the information, she wanted to see Sam. See her alive and breathing with her own eyes. She rushed past Ruby and Maggie into Sam’s room. She stopped at the edge of the hospital bed. Sam had a gash on her forehead, bruising around the wound, and looked overall sickly. Alex hated how closely it looked to when she was strapped down as Reign. 

 

Alex pulled up a chair next to the bed. She pulled Sam’s hand into her own. She calmed as she felt the rhythm of her pulse. Alex listened to Maggie and Ruby speaking in low voices. She hoped everything was going okay out there. She couldn’t pull herself away from Sam though. 

 

It only took a couple minutes before Sam’s eyes fluttered open. She groaned and struggled to sit up. 

 

“Sam! Hey,” Alex stood up and leaned over her. “Look at me. Can you talk?” Alex’s doctor side was taking over. 

 

“You came,” Sam said hoarsely. 

 

“Of course I came,” Alex squeezed her hand. 

 

“Mom?” Ruby said from the doorway. 

 

“Come here baby,” Sam held open her free arm. Ruby carefully climbed onto the cot and burrowed into Sam’s side. Alex gave them a warm smile. Her thumb absently brushed circles against the back of Sam’s hand. 

 

“Maggie went to get coffee,” Ruby spoke up. After talking to Maggie she didn’t see the woman as a threat. She grudgingly kind of liked her.

 

“Maggie?” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed and she turned towards Alex. “Maggie is here?” She yanked her hand out of Alex’s grip and narrowed her still glassy eyes. 

 

_ Oh shit,  _ Alex’s eyes widened.  _ This looks really bad Danvers. You fucked up... _

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to chat on Tumblr @2manyships2name


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